


Bad Timing

by LyricalKris



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-03-28 14:12:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 54,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13905720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyricalKris/pseuds/LyricalKris
Summary: Successful and smart, Bella had always made the right decision. Until that one day that one time. But once is all it takes.





	1. Chapter 1

Beta: Songster  
Banner Maker: MinaRivera

 

**A/N: Okay, so here’s the deal.**

**I’m stating up front that I don’t have a timeline for this one. My other stories take priority, plus first trimester pregnancy brain is making it REALLY FRICKEN DIFFICULT to write. These chapters, which were originally donated to a compilation, are burning a hole in my pocket.**

**And, I’m going to be honest, I’ve been dying to hit 100 stories, you know, because.**

**So, if you don’t mind waiting, dig in! I’ll have chapter 2 posted within the week. Otherwise, hold off until this starts posting on the regular.**

“Aren’t weddings supposed to be a good place to meet people?”

Bella snickered. “I think the theory is that a wedding is a good place to get laid because—”

“Love is in the air?” Jessica suggested.

“Sure. Love. That’s what we’ll call it.” At her friend’s look, she sighed. “What, Jess, come on. If you hook up with someone at a wedding, it’s not because you fell in love at first sight, at least not with the guy. It’s because you fell in love at first sight with all this.” She gestured around them. “The hearts. The flowers. The slow-dance music and those staring into each other’s souls.” Bella tilted her head at the bride and groom, smiling fondly as they spun around the dance floor, obviously head-over-heels for each other. 

Turning back to Jessica, she smiled. “You get swept up in the romance, and you’re an easy target.”

“Anything’s possible. A wedding is as good a place as any to meet the love of your life. Better than a lot of places,” Jess said with a shrug. “But all things considered, it’s not like I’d be disappointed with a good wedding hook-up story.”

“It’d be a good addition to your collection.”

Jess narrowed her eyes. “Are you calling me a slut?”

“Nope.” Bella laughed. “I don’t believe in that word, and you know it. I’m saying you’ve hooked up with some interesting people.”

“Damn straight. I’m going to be that old lady with a million stories about the things and people I’ve done.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Bella lifted her wine glass, and Jess clinked. 

“So, who’s your target?” Jess asked, her eyes scanning the crowd over the rim of her glass.

“You know me better than that. I don’t go out with the intention of seducing someone.”

“Except that one time,” Jess mused.

Bella sighed, her eyes darting toward the bride and groom and away. “Yeah. That one time, and look how that turned out.”

Jess looked at her with concern. “Bella, you don’t have feelings for Jasper, right?”

“No,” Bella said quickly. And it was true. It had all worked out really well. Some years ago, she’d had a bit of a crush on Jasper Whitlock. It was enough of a distraction that she’d gone as far as plotting with her best friend, Alice. They’d hung out at a restaurant Bella knew—from conversation—that Jasper frequented. When he came in, they called him over to sit at their table.

“He’s a great guy, but we didn’t have that kind of chemistry,” Bella said. “He and Alice did. That’s all there is to it. It’s not like I feel he’s the one that got away. I’m just being silly. It’s just…” She struggled to find the right words.

“This could have been your happy ending?” Jess asked, looking around them.

Bella hesitated only one or two beats before she snorted. “As if. Do you know how much this wedding costs? My happily ever after wouldn’t include throwing a really expensive party.”

Jess chortled. “But if it was a Vegas wedding?”

“Oh, yeah. Maybe then.” She sighed, putting on a faux dramatic look of woe. “It could have been me. It could have been me.”

Their laughter was interrupted as an attractive man wandered up to their table, startling Jess as he leaned down close to her ear with a silky, “Hello there.”

Less than a minute later, after “Crowley, Tyler Crowley,” had ascertained they weren’t there together together, he’d asked Jess for a dance. Bella watched, amused as Jess surreptitiously adjusted her bust line before she followed him out onto the dance floor.

Alone now, Bella slumped a bit. It wasn't depression or loneliness. As far as she was concerned, singlehood did her nothing but good. And maybe it was that restless mentality that made weddings difficult. Bella was a sucker for a good love story, but weddings just didn't do it for her. 

“You look lonely, pretty girl.”

Bella didn't look up for a few beats. Girl. Well, that was novel. 

When the man dropped into the seat across from her, Bella chanced a glance up. She arched an eyebrow, giving him a once over. Not horrible. Blond. Mildly attractive. 

But before she could decide if she wanted to engage, he reached out and touched a thumb to her lips. “You look like you have a mouth that would do what I tell it.”

For two seconds, Bella just stared, double and triple checking that he'd actually said what he'd just said. “Really?” she asked, because… yeah, really? This was a wedding reception, not a bar.

Of course, it was a wedding reception with an open bar...

“Don't be scared, baby. I got what you need.”

Oh, hell no. Bella stood up. She had to remind herself she was at a wedding. Alice deserved the perfect night she’d planned for so long. Bella wasn’t about to make a scene just because this idiot deserved a kick to the nuts. “You know, I have somewhere to be.”

He caught her around the waist, pulling her into him when she tried to walk away from the table. “Hey, don't run away, pretty girl.”

Bella smiled sweetly. “Buddy—”.

“Mike.”

“Michael.” Bella yanked her hand out of his grip. “I said, I have somewhere to be.”

She walked away before he could say anything, heading who knew where. She didn't have to go to the bathroom, but she wasn't above going there to get away from the grabby asshole.

Not knowing where the hell she was going, Bella powered out one door, and then another. Then, suddenly, she was outside.

And not alone. 

A man was out in the alley as she pushed through the backdoor. His head snapped up, a cigarette dangling from his mouth, caught in the act of trying to light it. He stood up, as if at attention, and she recognized him. 

“You're with the band,” she said, letting the door close behind her.

He was handsome, his dapper black suit incongruous with his rocker-style messy, bronze-colored hair. He looked at her cautiously, bringing the cigarette down to his side. He shrugged easily, a sexy smile playing at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah. I play guitar.” He nodded at the instrument, resting against the wall.

“You're good,” she said, taking another step toward him. “Guitar was better than the singer anyway.”

He snorted. “Yeah. I keep telling them I can sing and play the guitar, but they don't listen.” He shrugged. 

“You sing?” Bella asked, honestly impressed. The guy played the hell out of a guitar. It seemed unfair that he'd be good at singing too.

“Oh, my love, my darling  
I've hungered for your touch  
A long, lonely time  
Time goes by so slowly  
And time can do so much  
Are you still mine?”

Bella shivered. His voice was deep and resonant. “That’s beautiful. A perfect wedding song.”

He hummed, his eyes flicking down and then meeting hers again. “You mind?” He gestured with his cigarette.

No. Not a cigarette. A joint. 

She grinned. “No. I don't mind. I'm kind of jealous. It's been ages.”

He kept his eyes on her as he lit the joint and breathed in and out in a long gust. He cocked his head, a slow, easy smile spreading over his face. “Shotgun?”

A shiver went through her. The atmosphere seemed filled with static, and the air was hotter than she expected. “You sure?”

He took a long drag, his eyes never leaving hers. “Come here,” he said, curling his fingers at her.

She grinned. He was younger, but that was no surprise. Maybe mid-twenties. She shivered again, anticipating the thrill. She stepped toward him. 

When he was close, he reached out, curling an arm around her waist. He brought her close. His eyes were brilliant green and she found herself mesmerized. Electricity zipped down her spine. “You sure?” he asked.

“Hit me,” she said.

Keeping her curled in one arm, he raised his free hand to his mouth. His eyes still locked on hers, he wrapped his lips around the joint and inhaled. As he lowered the joint to his waist, he bent his head toward her. 

His lips brushed hers for the barest hint of a second as she opened her mouth to him. He breathed out, sending a long stream of smoke into her. Her eyes fluttered closed, and she inhaled sweet smoke, hot from his mouth. She lingered, holding the smoke in her mouth a long moment before she breathed it in.

“God, that's good,” she murmured. Her lips were still so close to his she could feel his heat.

“You like that?” His voice was low and rough. She could feel the vibration of it against her lips.

“It’s good.”

“Mhmm.” Pulling back just enough, he raised the joint to his lips and took another pull from his joint. “You want another?”

“Yeah.”

She hadn't opened her eyes. She felt his hands warm on hers, pushing her gently so her back came up against the wall. This time, when he bent his head, his lips were firm on hers. He breathed smoke out, and she breathed him in with it. Her head spun. “Oh, yeah.”

He groaned, and his hips bucked against her. That move changed the flavor of the atmosphere. She’d had a few drinks, and the smoke clouded her thoughts. Maybe that was why it was so easy to wrap her arms around his neck. He pressed forward, his blow back turning into a genuine kiss. His tongue touched hers, and she tasted the bitter marijuana mixed with something else.

His taste did nothing to help her state of intoxication. She was dizzy with him, and that was probably why she hitched her leg up, brushing it against his even as their kisses became more urgent. His hands were on her, running up and down her sides, sending a different kind of high through her. 

What the hell was happening here, a tiny voice in her head asked, but most of her didn’t care. She was buzzing off alcohol, the joint, and the way his mouth felt on hers. And his hands… Hell. Even the way he first caressed and then cupped her ass, bringing her closer against him. He didn’t grab, didn’t bring her down off her high by mauling her. 

This felt good. Damn good, and Bella wasn’t the type to deny herself a good experience. 

Just as suddenly as this makeout session had begun, the man groaned into her mouth. He pulled away from her, though his hands remained at her hips, keeping their bodies together even as he turned his head to the side. His eyes were screwed tightly shut.

She ran her fingers through his hair. No product. It was so soft. “You okay?”

He laughed. Such a charming sound. He opened his eyes and looked at her. “Sorry. It’s just… It feels kind of rude to kiss you like that when I don’t even know your name.”

It was such a sweet thing to say that she had to grin. She scratched her fingers through the hairs at the nape of his neck, watching the way it made him shiver. “I’m Bella.”

His lips pulled up at the corner in a roguish grin. “I’m Edward.”

She nodded, running her fingertips up and down his spine now. She could feel his length brushing against her—a hard bulge straining against his nicely pressed pants. That did things to her too. “You think we know each other well enough now?” she teased.

His cheeks flushed, but his half-cocked grin only deepened. “You want another hit?” 

She’d almost forgotten about the joint. She shook her head. “I want you.”

He groaned as their mouths met again, and he pushed her up against the wall. His hand brushed down her side until he cupped it around the back of her knee. He tugged, hitching her leg up around his waist so he could push against her.

Yeah. Maybe she liked weddings better than she thought.

**A/N: Mina—who is my chief enabler—convinced me to post this, so blame her!**

**And also check out the banner she made. Gorgeous.**

**Thanks too to Packy, MoH, Songster, and Eleanor as always!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for all your well-wishes. Here’s the second chapter I promised. Let the fun begin!

**~Four-ish Weeks Later~**

“Long night, boss?”

Bella, her head down between her knees, groaned. “God, I wish.” She breathed in deeply through her nose—which wasn’t the wisest move given the floor of the driver’s seat of the van was dirty as hell—and slowly out again. “I don’t mind nausea when I’ve earned it. At least it would mean I had a good time.”

Her cameraman, a fresh-out-of-college kid named Seth, chuckled. “Not even questionable chinese, huh?”

“Ugh. Seth, shut up. I don’t want to think about food.” Though, perversely, even as her stomach rolled, some part of her thought some chow mein would be excellent. She raised her head enough to rest it on the steering wheel and moaned again.

“Well, two things. One, if you get me sick with whatever bug this is, I might kill you.”

“Such lies. If you kill me, the only person you’d have left to cover is Paul, and he’s a damn blow hard.”

“Okay, fine. Fair point. I won’t kill you. I’ll...put hot wing sauce on your seat so you get a big stain on your ass that will show up on camera.”

“Mean,” Bella mumbled. “Okay. Don’t get you sick. What’s the other thing?”

“They left the courtroom about five minutes ago which gives you maybe four minutes to pull yourself together before they get here.”

Bella raised her head too quickly. She slumped back in her seat with a huff, a hand over her face as a wave of dizziness washed over her. “Crap. They’re early.” She opened her eyes and pulled down the sun visor, glancing in the mirror. She grimaced. Even with the makeup she’d put on, her face was ashen, and her hair was a mess.

“You just need a few good on-camera minutes,” Seth said. “Then, if you want to collapse, I can carry you back to the van.”

That made her smile. She spared a wink for Seth as she brushed out her hair. “Now that’s a tempting proposition. If I had ever been the type of woman to feign a swoon, now would be a good time. Paul would be jealous.”

“He would, wouldn’t he?” Seth smirked. 

“He’s pretty obvious about it.” Bella dug through her makeup bag, touching up so she’d at least look human. Another wave of dizziness hit her, and she clutched the steering wheel, closing her eyes and breathing.

“Seriously, boss. It won’t be the end of the world if we don’t get this interview.”

Bella shook her head. “No. I got it.” This one was important, and they both knew it. She opened her eyes, looking at herself in the mirror one more time. “I can do this.”

By that time, her quarry’s car had turned down the pretty, residential street. Bella pushed her annoying nausea out of her head and got out of the news van. It was go time.

**_~0~_ **

“This is a damn good interview.”

Bella startled awake. Disoriented, not sure for a second where she was, she struggled to find the ground with her feet. She blinked, knowing she was staring at Alice—who was staring back at her like she’d grown a second head—but her brain wasn’t sure how to process what she was seeing. “What?” she asked eloquently.

Alice arched an eyebrow. “Did you just fall asleep?”

A little more with it now, Bella rubbed her eyes. “Ugh. Yeah, I guess.” She yawned. “And I even had a nap before you came over.”

“A nap?” Alice’s eyes about bulged out of her head. “Since when do you nap?”

“I don’t.” Bella yawned again. “At least, I didn’t.”

“You never have gotten enough sleep.”

“No rest for the wicked.” Bella flashed her friend a grin. “But, who knows. We’re getting old.”

Alice scoffed. “Speak for yourself.”

“Hey, it’s going to happen to the best of us. I’m not saying I’m decrepit, but you can’t say you don’t feel at least some aches and pains that weren’t there in our twenties.”

“I slept wrong the other night, and I couldn’t move my head most of the day,” Alice said in a mournful voice. “Fuck, we are getting old.”

“Eh. So I’ll try to get five hours of sleep a night instead of four, and you’ll...I don’t know. Do some yoga? Work on your flexibility?”

“My husband doesn’t have any complaints about my flexibility,” Alice said with a cheeky grin.

“Don’t remind me.” Bella gave an exaggerated shudder. “I’m still scarred from that time I passed out on your couch. You two are noisy.”

“We’re good at what we do.” Alice nodded at the TV. “And, like I was saying, you’re good at that.”

“Well, if I can’t be good at monkey sex, I have to keep my options open. Though, I’ve never had any complaints in that department either.” She shook her head. “Anyway. I think I even got the approval of my stick-up-his-ass boss.”

“He Who Cannot Be Pleased?”

Bella nodded. “His lips actually twitched. Upward. I got a nod and a ‘good work, Swan.’” 

“Hand this woman her Pulitzer Prize right now. If you can impress that asshole…”

“I’ll settle for a shot at the anchor position.” She put up her hands, fingers crossed. “I can almost taste it. My work’s been on point lately.”

“You got this.” Alice tilted her head, looking at her. “Though, I think we need to review what kind of makeup you have in your case. Your lighting was a bit off.”

Bella laughed. “Uh huh. That’s Alice-speak for I looked like shit twice in a row this week.” She shook her head. “Maybe it’s part of that whole getting old thing. My stomach’s been a real bitch this week, and I didn’t do anything to deserve it. The interview on Monday? I threw up the second after Seth stopped rolling. So embarrassing.” She rolled her eyes. At least she hadn’t thrown up in front of her constantly disapproving boss.

Alice furrowed her brow. ‘You threw up? You have a stomach made of steel.”

“Not this week.” Bella shrugged. “You know I’m out of tune with my body. Maybe I’m developing lactose intolerance or something. I’ll have to figure it out if it keeps up.”

“Uh huh.” Alice had a weird look on her face, but before Bella could call her on it, her friend patted her knee. “Well, come on. We’re going to be late for dinner.”

**_~0~_ **

It was the first time the three women had seen each other since Alice’s wedding. Alice and Bella met Jessica at one of their favorite haunts—a mellow bar with decent food and better music.

Bella was spaced out, sipping her iced tea—she didn't think she should call her tummy’s bluff just yet—as she watched the band. She was startled when someone's hand came up close to her face and snapped.

“Earth to Bella.” Alice waved her hand and laughed. “You're so out of it today.”

“She's got a new thing for guitarists,” Jess said in a sing-song voice.

“What?” Bella’s cheeks flushed hot. How had Jessica known she’d been surreptitiously checking out the guitarist—and finding him lacking, but still. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jess bounced in her seat, laughing as she looked to Alice. “I almost forgot. It was between sets. I felt bad because I’d been talking to hottie Tyler for a while and left Bella all alone, but when I got back, she wasn’t at our table either.”

Alice looked bemused as she looked from Bella to Jess. “Go on.”

“Oh, God.” Bella covered her face with her hand.

“So, eventually, she stumbles in. Red faced—”

“You and I were both drinking.”

“—and her hair all messed up. Sex hair.”

Bella opened her mouth to excuse that away and shut it again. 

“Sex hair?” Alice hissed, leaning forward across the table. “Bella, you didn’t.”

“And!” Jess leaned in too. “I swear when the guitar player had his solo, it looked like he was making eyes at her. Playing just for you.” She patted Bella’s cheek.

“Ugh.” Bella pulled back, slouching in her seat and reconsidering being sober for this conversation. “You were flashing the girls at what’s-his-face. How did you even see that?” And that...that was a mistake, because both other women gave little squeaks.

“It is true,” Jess said, sounding giddy. “I knew I wasn’t seeing things.”

“Bella.” Alice smacked her arm lightly. “Did you hook up with a guy at my wedding?”

Bella peeked through her fingers, and she couldn’t help the smile that tugged at her lips. “Maybe.”

“Why would you not tell me something like that?”

With a groan, Bella sat up straight and put her hands on the table. “Because, it’s embarrassing. We were in an alley, for fuck’s sake. That’s all kinds of dirty. And that guy was ten years younger than I am. Maybe even twelve.” Twenty-five. Yeah. That was about where she had him pegged, and she was about to turn thirty-seven.

Jess and Alice cackled. “Cougarella,” Jess said.

“What’s embarrassing about that?” Alice asked. “You’re smoking hot. And you know I have a thing for musicians.” She waggled her eyebrows. She’d had a thing for a drummer before she met Jasper.

Bella’s lips quirked. “Well…they’re really good with their hands. I swear to Christ, I haven’t been finger-banged like that in...ever. I’ve never been finger-banged like that.” She sighed while the others chortled. Edward’s fingers had been so long and strong and…

Yeah. Talented. Really, really talented.

“Wait, so, fingers only?” Alice asked. 

“Fingers only at your wedding.” Bella took a sip of her tea, watching her friends over the top. “In my hotel room, though…”

“You dirty dog,” Jess said.

“Like you’re one to talk. Or was it someone else who disappeared with Crowley, Tyler Crowley?”

“He’s not the hottie musician.” Jess grinned. “I mean, he was paid to be there. It sounds tawdry that way.”

“Well, yeah. When you make it sound like she hired a prostitute.” Alice shook her head. “I can’t believe I missed all this.”

“You were too busy staring soulfully into your new husband’s eyes,” Bella said, wagging a finger at her.

Just as she said the words, a waitress went by carrying a tray of something Bella didn’t catch. Whatever it was, the smell of it hit her like a freight train, and she sat bolt upright. “Oh, hell.” She pushed to her feet. “I’m going to throw up.”

Alice made a face at her. “Oh, come on. I know we’re gross, but we’re not that disgusting.”

“No, I…” Bella shook her head and bolted in the direction of the bathroom.

**_~0~_ **

~  
Though Bella felt a lot better when she got back to the table, she didn’t argue when Alice pulled her out to the car. She was half dozing, her cheek against the blissfully cool window, when the car stopped. She opened her eyes not to her apartment building but to the CVS nearby. “What are we doing?” she asked.

“You go back to your nap. I need to get a few things,” Alice said, opening the car door.

“I’m not an invalid.” Bella started to unbuckle her seatbelt, but Alice glared.

“Just stay here. I’ll be right back.”

Bella rolled her eyes, but she obeyed. She didn’t sleep, though. She crossed her arms, staring out the window and thinking through the next story on her docket. She’d been on a roll and if she could keep it up, good things were on the horizon. She’d wanted to be Katie Couric when she grew up. She was almost there.

Alice returned with a bag. She rummaged through it as she set it down on the console between them and handed Bella a bottle of Tums and a Sprite. 

“I feel fine,” Bella said. 

“Drink the damn Sprite, Bella,” Alice said as she turned the car on.

Bella was about to retort when she saw something else in the bag. She made a grab for it, and her breath caught. “Oh, no. Oh, Alice.” She turned the box over in her hands. It was a pregnancy test. “I thought you and Jasper didn’t want kids.”

Alice sighed. She was silent for several long beats. Then she said, “We don’t want kids, and we’re not going to have them.”

“So, you think you might have had an accident?” Bella asked, shaking the box.

“No. I definitely haven’t, because Jasper had a vasectomy before we got married.” Alice glanced at her quickly and away. “That’s for you.”

Bella was sure she’d heard wrong. She laughed, a choked sound, and shook her head. “I’m not—”

But then she remembered. The naps. The stomach upset that didn’t appear to be related to anything she ate and couldn’t be a virus.

And, she couldn’t remember when she’d last had her period.

“Oh,” she said softly. Then, louder, “Oh, shit. Fuck. Oh, no.”

**_~0~_ **

Because Alice knew her so well, there were four pregnancy tests, all of them different brands, sitting on the edge of her tub. Bella groaned as she slid down the wall, holding her head in her hands. 

She had two bold pregnants, one pink cross, and one window with two blue lines.

There was a soft knock at the door, but Alice didn’t wait for her to tell her to come in. She stood over Bella a moment, her hands on her hips as she surveyed the tests. Then, she slid down on the floor next to Bella and wrapped an arm around her. Almost another minute went by before she spoke. “You know, we were supposed to have this scene like fifteen years ago.”

Bella giggled. She couldn’t help it. “Fuck, me.”

“If I had, we wouldn’t be in this mess, now would we?”

Burying her face in her friend’s hair, Bella giggled somewhat maniacally as Alice rubbed her back. After a minute or so, Bella calmed again.

“So. Was it for sure the guitarist?” Alice asked.

“Ugh. Don’t remind me.”

“Okay, we don’t have to talk about it right now.”

Bella grumbled, and sniffed hard. She wasn’t going to cry, dammit. Maybe she felt like a stupid kid but she was, in actuality, a full grown adult woman. “Yes, it was the guitarist. Edward. Bastard.”

“He was an asshole?”

“No.” He’d been sexy and sweet. A nice guy. She dug the heels of her hands into her eyes. “But he must be in the thirty percent of men who don’t know how to put on a damn condom.” She clunked her head back against the wall. “And, of course, it’s been a while, so I haven’t been so consistent with my birth control. Dammit.”

“Hmm.” Alice wrapped her arms around her extra tight and squeezed. Bella rested her head on her friend’s shoulder, closed her eyes, and tried to breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And now… we wait. But probably not for long. I’m excited about this story.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Welcome, peeps! Let’s get this show on the road.

It was impossible to do research out of one bloodshot eye. Bella readjusted herself in her chair, trying to sit up straighter. She re-read the information on the page for the tenth time, retaining none of it. Again. She tried to make the words make sense, but rather than sharpen, her thoughts blurred around the edges. Her eyelids drooped.

“Swan!”

Bella came all the way awake with a start, swinging an arm out to steady herself because her body had forgotten she was sitting down. Her hand hit her metal water bottle which toppled over, clanging hard on the desktop. She grabbed for it, upsetting the cup she used to hold most of her office supplies. Pens and paperclips scattered across the desk. She slammed her hand down on top of them, cheeks flaming.

“Um. Yes, Mr. Albescu?” she said, standing up.

Stefan Albescu leaned out of his doorway looking thoroughly unimpressed with her. Then again, unimpressed was his natural state. He let out a sigh, as though she were a trial sent specifically to vex him. “Get in here,” he barked, and he went back into his office without another word.

Bella cleared her throat and gave her head a shake, trying to clear the fog in her mind. She studiously ignored the eyes of the others in the bullpen--especially that asshole Paul Lahote. He loved seeing her mess up. 

Though, as she walked the abnormally long distance to Mr. Albescu’s office, Bella realized she had no reason to believe she’d done anything wrong. It didn’t take much to annoy the man, but her work had been on point.

Unless he’d just caught her dozing at her desk. 

Running her hand through her hair, Bella steeled herself and knocked on the door. She squared her shoulders, and tried to resist the urge to roll her eyes when Mr. Albescu barked, “Get in here,” again.

Bella walked into the office and sat quietly in the chair opposite his at his desk. Mr. Albescu wasn’t sitting at his desk. He was bent over a cabinet, rifling through the contents, muttering under his breath. Bella knew better then to speak. There was no point. She knew from experience he would either snap at her or simply ignore her until he sat down. So, she folded her hands and waited.

After a full three minutes of muttering, pacing, and cursing, Mr. Albescu threw himself down in his chair. He ruffled his hair, grunted, sighed, and finally looked at her. “Well.” He folded his hands on his desk and shook his head. “There’s no getting around it, Swan. You’re the best field reporter I have, and you know what that means.”

Bella blinked. She replayed the words in her head. His _tone_ had said she was the biggest idiot in the world and she was so, so fired. “Sir?” she said finally, deciding she needed more information.

He sighed again, like a man being sorely tested. “You’re a shoe-in for an anchor’s desk at this point, and there are openings. This is going to happen quick.”

Her heart picked up a rapid beat, and Bella had to struggle to keep her grin off her face. His tone still indicated this was the worst news he’d ever heard. “I’m...sorry?”

At that, he finally cracked a smile. A tiny one. “No, you’re not, nor should you be.” The smile vanished, replaced by aggravation as he ran his hand through his hair. “It’s going to leave me with just Paul on the ground. You know how that man vexes me. He’s good at what he does.” He grunted and looked to Bella again. “But not as good as you. Hence, here we are.”

Mr. Albescu stood and started pacing behind his desk. “The big wigs will be here within a few weeks. You’ll still need to do your best to impress them. There are a few choice anchor’s desks coming open. Chicago. Phoenix. Those are the ones you want. San Diego wouldn’t be too bad.” He stroked his chin. “But there are a few where you won’t have much of a chance to shine. Shreveport. Port Angeles.

“You’re going to have to stay on your toes, Swan. A lot is going to happen in a short amount of time. Big changes are coming. Are you up for this?”

Bella nodded, the picture of confidence. “Of course, sir.”

**_~0~_ **

“Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit.” Bella put her elbows on her kitchen table and covered her hands with her eyes.

“You know, too many life-changing events at once is usually a good time for alcohol,” Jessica said, her voice bright.

“Really helpful, Jess,” Alice scolded, rubbing Bella’s back.

“What? We’ll drink Bella’s share.”

Bella rolled her eyes to the ceiling, shaking her head. “This is what I’ve been working for my entire career. The second-to-last step. Now? When I have to be ready to jump when they say jump and uproot my entire life.” She made an exasperated noise. “And that’s assuming they even take me.”

“Why wouldn’t they take you?” Jessica asked.

“You really think they’re going to let me start an anchor position when I can’t fit behind the desk?”

“It’s illegal to discriminate for something like pregnancy,” Jasper called over his shoulder from his position in the living room.

“Right, but it’s a matter of timing. If they need a new anchor, they’re not going to hire someone who’s going to have to go on maternity leave three weeks later. Doesn’t meet their needs.” Bella rubbed her temples. “And it’s not just that. I…”

“You?” Alice sat down beside her at the table. 

Bella huffed. “I didn’t think about it before I said I was ready for anything. I said yes. Of course I said yes. This is everything I want, but…” She closed her eyes, feeling the overwhelming sense of enormity that had washed over her the last week and a half. “My life has been only mine for, well, all of it.”

“An anchor position isn’t dangerous,” Jessica said. “What are you worried about?”

Wasn’t that the question of the century. “I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be worried about. Aren’t you supposed to have just one doctor? A plan?” Another pause, and she sighed. “And then there’s the fact I’m just me. I don’t know. I did a report once. The whole idea that children of single mothers are more at risk for becoming bad seeds. It’s not that they’re the children of single mothers. It’s that single mothers are more likely not to have a support system.” She gestured around. “Shouldn’t I have at least thought twice before I said it was no big deal to leave my support system?”

Alice gave her a sympathetic smile and ruffled her hair. “Bella, you’ve planned every major and most of the minor things about your life. This is a game changer. And come on. If you haven’t been working this last week and a half, you’ve been sleeping.”

“Sometimes I’m sleeping at work,” Bella grumbled. 

Jasper got up then and walked to them. He squatted by Bella’s side, taking her hand and looking up into her eyes. “You know you don't have to do this, right?”

“Jazz,” Alice said gently.

“No. I think it needs to be said. We all know what you need is a game plan. This is the first question.” Jasper squeezed her hand. “This is your life, B. You've worked hard to get where you are, and no one here is going to judge you if you decide a baby isn't what you want right now.”

“No judgment here,” Jessica said with a soft and sympathetic smile.

Bella took a deep breath. A deep sense of relief settled in her. She didn’t know until that moment how badly she’d needed someone to put voice to one of the millions of thoughts zinging around her head. Her problem was that she had too much to think about, and none of the choices in front of her settled down long enough for her to really make a decision.

And, Alice was right too. It had been nearly impossible to think of these huge, life-changing decisions when she was so exhausted. Every single ounce of energy she had went to work. 

Hearing the question out loud, Bella found she had an answer. She took another deep breath and blew it out slowly, considering. 

When she was young and her dreams were vague ideas, she’d always assumed she’d get around to having kids. She didn’t want it like some people did, but it wasn’t a repulsive thought either.

“When that whole hellacious debacle with James happened, I was just so sick of the whole business of dating, and I didn’t even do it that often.” She laughed at herself. “But it’s such a weird concept when you really think about it. Whatever attracted you to that person is so damn arbitrary. Really? James fixed me with a crooked smile at some damn concert, and that was the basis I used to agree to a date? A date which is, in reality, a try-out for the person you’re supposed to end up with forever and ever? Look how that one turned out. The only thing I ended up getting out of that relationship was a black eye and the satisfaction of kneeing him in the balls.

“But that was what, five years ago? Your thirties is when it really starts to hit you that there are some things really do have a window.”

Jessica snorted. “The biological clock is real.”

Bella nodded. “I thought if I was going to have a child, that was the time. I looked up all my options. Talked to the right doctors. Learned about ovulation cycles, and even researched sperm banks.” She smiled. “Then, Alice decided we were going to go on a major vacation once a year, see the world. I never could get the timing right to do both--a pregnancy and that kind of travel. As more time went on, I found peace with the idea I probably wasn’t going to have kids. I have a full, happy, busy life without them.”

“But?” Alice prompted.

Bella raised her eyes to her friend. “I can be a mom too, right?” She looked down at Jasper. “I can be a good journalist and a mom too.” She hated the note of uncertainty in her voice. 

“You’ll be an amazing mom,” Alice said, wrapping an arm around her.

“I think you can do anything,” Jasper said, squeezing her hands again. He stood, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. 

Jessica got up too and stood behind her, arms around Bella’s neck. “You’ve never been afraid of anything life threw at you. You got this, babe.”

Tears pricked at Bella’s eyes. She raised her hands, grabbing onto someone’s arm as they rocked her. She sniffed hard. “Thanks, guys.”

“Okay, so, we got that much figured out. We’re keeping the baby.” Alice and the rest of them sat around the table. “You have that doctor’s appointment next week. Where you may or may not be living isn’t something you can predict right now, right? I mean, there’s nothing to be done on that front. What’s next?”

Bella huffed out a breath. “Oh, you know. That whole part where I have to tell a nearly complete stranger that he’s going to be a daddy.” 

They all grimaced. “See, that’s the problem I have with the idea of having a baby,” Jessica said. “You have to share them with the baby daddy, and that can be eighteen years worth of drama.”

Again, her friend was just putting words to the worries that had been plaguing Bella ever since she realized she was pregnant. Edward was a gigantic question mark. It was easy to think someone was a nice guy when she’d spent a grand total of eight or so hours in his presence. All that really meant was he was capable of not being psychotic long enough to get laid. And that was just one possibility. Bella wasn’t naive enough to think this was all going to be sunshine and roses. 

“You don’t have to tell him,” Alice said tentatively--just a suggestion. “I mean, I don’t think you want to go after child support.”

“No. Financially, I’m okay. Comfortable enough that we’re not going to starve.” And he was young. She’d been pretty broke in her mid-twenties. She had no idea what Edward had going on, but there was every possibility he was well on his way to being a starving artist.

Alice shrugged. “Would it be so different then if you’d gone with a sperm donor? When the kid asks about who helped make her, you have all the answers you need. Hair, eyes, height. He was a musician. That’s that. All your kid ever has to know is that you wanted them.”

Bella didn’t speak at first. It was a tempting idea. She knew well enough how custody worked. Telling this man he was her baby’s father gave him rights--rights she herself would have no ability to take away. There was every possibility that he’d have the power to wreak havoc on her life for eighteen years for any number of reasons. 

Slowly, she shook her head. “I’ve seen that movie too many times. I lie about it. Somehow, the baby finds out when it’s eighteen, and I don’t see her for ten years because they’re that mad about it. Besides, it’s a crappy thing to do all the way around. Sperm donors go in knowing they’re not going to be a part of their kid’s life.”

“True. And I don’t want you to think I was trying to be unethical. It’s just that you never know. If this guy turns out to be abusive in some way, you can’t get your kid away from that easily.” Alice sighed. “See, this is why I need to become a psychic. If we only knew how he was going to react.”

Jessica snorted. “Yeah, if only we knew how every decision in our life is going to turn out, things would be a lot easier.”

Bella looked to Jasper. “So, do you know this guy? Edward?” The band at his wedding had been friends of friends. Jasper had been in a band, playing weddings for side-cash, when they all met.

“Not personally, but it won’t be difficult to figure out how to get ahold of him if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Well, it’d be nice to have someone’s opinion other than my own.”

“He’s new to the band--I know that much because their ex-guitarist had to drop out fairly recently due to health problems. I haven’t hung out with those guys in a long time. I’d have to say you know him better than I do.”

“Chyeah. Ask me about his tattoos. I can tell you all about those.” Bella drummed her fingers on the table. She rolled her eyes and started muttering to herself. “I bet if you told him I was trying to get his number he’d just think I was being clingy. Better to see him face-to-face, I think.”

“I’ll ask around,” Jasper said.

“We’ll figure it out.” Alice gave her a hug.

“Thanks for all the we’s.” Bella put her head on her friend’s shoulder.

“We already told you. We’re here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yes, my duckies. This does mean that we’ll be seeing Edward next chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Apparently, this is shorty chapter week. Welp. Hope your week goes well.

Bella covered her face with her hands, trying to ignore how nervous she was. She grabbed at her phone to distract herself.

Bella: There is caffeine EVERYWHERE. I want it all.

She tapped her fingers idly on the table, watching the three dots bounce at the bottom of the chat box.

Alice: You’re looking at this the wrong way. This is the perfect excuse to get the chocolate croissant you always deny yourself.

Bella: ...I knew I liked you.

Some minutes later, Bella was doing her best not to make porn star noises as she devoured her favorite coffee shop dessert. She was so involved that she didn’t process the familiar form that went striding by her table. She did, however, notice when the form came to an abrupt halt. She sucked in a breath as he walked slowly backward until he was facing her.

“Uh, hey.” Edward the barista-guitarist cocked his head, his slow, sexy smile curling up at the corner. “Bella. Hi.”

Bella put a hand to her mouth, chewing twice more and swallowing hard. Her throat was tight. Her heart was pounding a mile minute, and the delicious chocolate croissant threatened to make a reappearance. “Hey,” she managed.

“I’ve thought about you.” His cheeks tinted pink and he rubbed the back of his neck, his sheepish expression making him look so young. “Sorry. You surprised me. I’m just saying it’s cool to run into you.”

“Right.” Bella took a deep breath, flashing him a tight smile. She sat up straight, tilting her chin up. “It’s not a coincidence, though.”

“No?” The grin was back in full force—a beautiful smirk that made a chill run down her spine. “You stalking me?” His tone was full of intent rather than horror.

Now, it was her turn to smirk. “Calm down, stud.” She sighed, her grin fading. “Actually, there’s something I needed to talk to you about. I’m not trying to be a creeper. I wanted to talk to you in person so I asked Jasper—he was the groom at the wedding—to talk to your bandmate, Peter. He’s the one who told me your schedule. You have a few minutes before your shift?”

He took hold of the chair across from her and spun it, sitting down on it backward. He rested his arms across the top and leaned forward. “Sure. I have a few minutes for you.”

 _Here goes nothing._ “So. I guess there’s no easy way to say this, but…” _For chrissakes, Swan._ “I’m pregnant. It’s yours. I’m sure.”

At first, he only blinked at her, mouth agape. The words had come out in a rush, so she didn’t blame him. She pressed her lips together. She didn’t want to have to repeat herself—saying it once had been hard enough—and she didn’t want to start babbling the half a million things going through her head. Her defenses were up; there was every chance he was going to turn into an asshole in the next two seconds, but she didn’t want to put her foot in her mouth.

“I...You…” He ran his hand through his hair, looking off to the side. His skin had gone bone white. “Oh, man. Oh, man. But how? I mean, we used...” He gestured helplessly.

“They don’t work if you don’t put it on right.” This was her theory, but she didn’t want to sound too accusatory.l “Maybe it leaked and we didn’t notice.”

“Oh. Oh, jeez. Oh, man.”

Bella counted to ten before she spoke. “Look, I’m not here to demand anything from you. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I’ve decided to keep the pregnancy, and I can take care of a baby.” Her heartbeat fluttered. She wasn’t entirely sure about that last part, but at least she could pay for a baby. “I’m just letting you know. If you don’t want it—”

“No.” The word came out too loud, and Edward looked around the shop, his cheeks turning red. He bowed his head, tugging at his hair. “That’s not what… I mean…” He huffed. “Fuck. My parents are going to kill me.”

Now it was Bella’s turn to blink at the top of his head. Her first thought was that the comment was the epitome of immature. Then, she stopped her judgment and reevaluated. She knew first hand what a terrible shock her news was, and people tended to do and say strange things when they were shocked. Also, just because she’d grown up not overly attached to her parents didn’t mean other people didn’t have a different experience. Plenty of people her own age still angsted out when they didn't get their parents’ approval. It was an honest reaction; that was all.

“Cullen,” an irritated voice called out. Edward’s head snapped up, his lithe body jolting as he looked toward the counter at a harried-looking man. “You got two minutes to clock in.”

“Yeah.” Edward’s voice cracked. He cleared his throat and spoke louder. “I’ll be right there.”

Bella grimaced. “I probably could have timed this better. I’m sorry. I just felt like I owed it to you to talk to you face-to-face.” And to be perfectly honest, she’d wanted to meet him in a public place in case his reaction was violent. You just never knew. But, she could have come after his shift.

“No. No. Yeah.” Edward ran a hand over his face. He laughed—the sound slightly maniacal. “Shit. I’ve lost my ability to word.”

She had to smile. “Don’t think about it now. Think about it after work.”

He scoffed. “Sure.” He stood up, still looking anywhere but her. “Um. Can I...I guess, can I have your phone number?” He shook his head, the smallest of smiles tugging at his lips. “I was going to ask you, you know.”

“Ask me what?”

“For your phone number. Before.” He glanced at her quickly and then away. “But you were gone when I woke up.”

Now it was Bella who blushed. “Ah. Yeah. Sorry.” Awkward. She rummaged through her purse. Luckily, a reporter always kept a steno pad and pen handy. “Here.”

Edward took the paper she offered and did a weird, nervous little nod-bow movement before he hurried away, to start his shift, no doubt. Bella blew out a breath. She closed her eyes, willing her heart to stop pounding. Then, she gathered up the remnants of her croissant.

She'd gotten only a few steps into the parking lot before his voice stopped her. “Bella!” Edward came jogging out to her, dressed now in an apron and matching hat. “I should have asked. How are you? Is everything… Are you okay?”

That melted her a little. She opened her mouth to simply say she was fine, but instead, the truth came out. “I’m exhausted. All the time. Weird smells make me woozy, and I throw up a lot. I’m overwhelmed. This is the last thing I needed in my life right now.” It felt better, somehow to say out loud. Especially to him. “But...I’m okay.”

He nodded a little too emphatically. “Yeah. That’s...Yeah.”

She gave a small laugh, and he smiled sheepishly. Then, he sighed. “I’m sorry. I don’t know if that’s the right thing to say, but I’m really sorry.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

The door to the coffee shop came open and Edward’s scowling boss was there again. Bella gave him what she hoped was a friendly, apologetic smile and looked to Edward. “You better get back before you’re out of a job.”

“Yeah.” Edward looked between her and his boss. “I’ll call you.”

Watching him disappear back into the coffee shop, Bella wondered if he really would. She’d given him the out, after all. Part of her still hoped he would take it. There were just so many variables in her life right now. She could stand to have one of them magically go away.

Then again, there was that traitorous part of her that wondered what he would look like holding a baby. It wasn’t a bad image.

**_~0~_ **

“Wait, wait, wait,” Jessica said, sitting down at Alice and Jasper’s table as Bella started to relate the story of how the meeting went. “First, I had a lot of alcohol at the wedding.”

Alice scoffed. “A lot of that going around apparently.”

“The point is, my memory’s a bit fuzzy.” Jessica reached across the table and took Bella’s hand. “Please tell me he’s as smoking hot as I remember him.”

Bella shook her head, grinning. “Girl, you’re shameless.”

“What? I’m living vicariously through you so I don’t have to have a baby. Come on. Look at you. Your kid was always going to be amazing, but mix you with a sexy musician?” She whistled. “Come on. This child is going to be incredible. Smarts and musical and…” she leaned in, waiting for Bella to fill in the blanks.

Bella gave in. “And Jesus God who do I have to bribe to make sure they get his eyes?” She sighed. “Green. And I like the shape of his mouth.”

“Yeah, that's what got you in trouble.” Alice grinned wickedly.

“I thought it was his fingers that got her in trouble.” Jasper sipped his beer, his face the picture of innocence.

Alice and Jessica cackled. Bella threw a grape at him, which he had the audacity to catch with his mouth. He winked at her.

Bella rubbed her temples. “He really is young though. I was hoping I'd been generous, but he really does look mid-twenties. Lower mid-twenties even.”

Alice rubbed her back. “But employed. And talented. You had a good head on your shoulders even at that age.”

“He was nice. I mean, he was reduced to Neanderthal noises in lieu of speech, but I think that was only to be expected.” Bella let relief wash over her. “He wasn't an asshole. That counts for a lot.” 

Bella had decided some days before that she was going to take this thing in stages, dealing with one thing at a time. Telling the stranger baby daddy was out of the way, and it hadn’t been horrible. As far as Edward went, she was done. It was his move. Hopefully they’d be able to have another conversation at least. Hopefully she had a little time before she had to ask questions about his family genetic history. That was going to be a fun conversation.

But she didn’t have to think about that yet.

**_~0~_ **

Bella was pulled from sleep by the too-loud ring of her phone. She usually put the ringer volume down before she went to sleep, but this wouldn’t be the first time she collapsed before she completed her nighttime ritual. She reached for her phone only to encounter unfamiliar territory. She sat up, blinking in the never-all-the-way dark of the Southern California night. 

This wasn’t her bedroom. 

She grabbed her phone, groaning as she did. She must have fallen dead asleep at Alice and Jasper’s table. Jasper had probably carried her upstairs. Of course she would miss that.

“Hello?” she said into the phone, groggy.

There was a pause on the other end. “Shit. I’m sorry. You were asleep.”

It took her addled mind another two seconds to figure out the voice on the other end—smooth and soft and just deep enough—was Edward. “I’m always asleep. What time is it even?”

“Ten.”

“Fuck.” Bella sighed. “That’s just sad.”

“No. It’s… I mean, it’s late-ish.”

Bella had to smile. “Sure. I’m just used to being a night owl.”

He hummed, and a silence fell between them, tense and loaded. Was she supposed to speak? But what would she say? It really was a strange juxtaposition. Her deciding to have this baby was an all or nothing thing. It was hers—her body. Her every move, every choice, every thing she put in her body affected by the presence of this thing she couldn’t see or feel. 

Edward? He was free of the thing. Separate from it. No wonder it was so easy for men to walk away. The concept of the baby was alien to Bella, who only believed with the pregnancy tests told her because she knew her body had changed. For a man, it must have felt more like a fairy tale—a figment of her imagination.

On the other end of the line, he sighed. “I’m sorry. I still haven’t figured out what to say.” Another sigh. “I don’t know what to think.”

“I get that,” Bella said gently.

“But I did want to say I was sorry I was so weird earlier. I just wanted you to know I’m not a deadbeat. I’m not…” He swallowed audibly. “I’m not going to walk away. I’m not that guy.”

Bella let out a shuddering breath. Her heart pounded hard against her chest. 

There it was. She was stuck with him.

What the hell that meant in the long run, she had no idea.

“Do you have a picture yet? The weird, blurry one?” he asked.

Her eyes stung with tears she didn’t quite understand. She hadn’t really thought about the baby in terms of what it was. What it looked like. Fucking weird at that stage, but growing. It was creepy and amazing and…

It was a lot. 

“First doctor’s appointment is next week,” she said. “I think that’s when you get the first blurry picture.”

“That’s cool.” Another gulp. “You’ll show me?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.”

“Okay.” There was a rustle. Was he lying on his bed? “I should let you get back to sleep.”

She yawned right on que. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Goodnight, Bella.”

She smiled. “Goodnight, Edward.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So now he knows.  
> And now the fun begins, non?
> 
> *maniacal author laugh*


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Let’s have some fun, shall we? It’s Friday! (on the East coast).

“Take everything off. Everything, okay, sweetie? The doctor will be in shortly.”

Bella glared at the door as it shut behind the overly friendly nurse. She huffed, indignant, and kicked her shoes off angrily. “It’s going to be like that, huh?” She pulled her shirt off. “Isn’t stripping for a pretty face what got me here in the first place?” She took off her bra and unbuttoned her jeans. “So nice of you to pick out something sexy for me to wear. Obviously, you're an ass man.” She slipped the thin gown on, open to the back, and pulled her underwear down. She shook it at the door. “Well, I'm keeping my socks on.”

Some minutes later, Bella tried not to feel like a dog at a dog show as the doctor rated various parts of her. “Everything is shaped correctly and adequate,” he announced, two fingers still inside her. 

Another couple of minutes later, he nodded in satisfaction. “Your nipples are normal.”

“Thanks?” Bella said, trying not to cringe. 

“There should be no trouble with latching from your side.” The doctor covered her back up. “You do plan to breastfeed?’

“Um. Yes?” She hadn’t actually thought of, well, anything baby-related. Knowing she was pregnant hadn’t actually translated into the idea she was going to have a baby in seven-ish months. She was checking off boxes. Stop eating and drinking things she shouldn’t. Tell the father. Go to the doctor. 

“Okay, then. It’s time to take a look. See how baby is doing.” He moved to a machine that stood off to the side and removed a wand with a condom on it. Bella arched an eyebrow, and the doctor smiled. “At this stage, the baby is typically too small to see everything we need to see over.” He made a gesture over her stomach. “So we go under.” He gestured as he put lube on the wand.

“So, back in the stirrups?” Bella asked, trying her best not to grimace.

“And scoot your butt all the way forward.” The doctor narrated as he worked. “A little pressure, okay?” 

Bella kept her attention on the screen as the doctor moved the wand back and forth inside her. He rolled to one side and two holes popped up in the midst of the weird gray and black mass on the screen. He tapped the one left. “This is your bladder.” He readjusted so the hole on the right was front and center. “And this is the gestational sac in your uterus.”

He pointed then to a small circular shape. “This is called the yolk sac. It’s what’s feeding the baby before the placenta forms. It’ll disappear.” He pointed to a lump pressed up against the side of the black hole. “This is the baby.”

Bella sucked in a breath. She didn’t know how she felt. The blob on the screen didn’t resemble anything she could figure.

The doctor froze the screen, murmuring some numbers as he marked the outline of the blob from left to right and up and down. Measuring it, Bella guessed. He then pointed to a spot within the mass. “See this flicker?”

“Yes,” Bella said, seeing what looked like a tiny burst of static in that one spot.

“That’s the heartbeat.”

“Oh,” Bella said on a breath. A sensation of relief went through her, followed quickly by a brief but overwhelming moment of panic and dread.

There was something alive inside of her.

The rest of the appointment passed in a daze. There was a lot of information to process. She vaguely processed the doctor talking about the increased likelihood of certain disorders for women who had babies after thirty-five. There were genetic tests available, from a simple blood test to an amniocentesis. Elderly pregnancy, her chart said. That made her laugh.

“Who'd have thought getting pregnant would make me feel old?” Bella put a hand over her eyes and shook her head as she sat down to dinner with Alice and Jessica. “Jesus Christ. I need a drink.”

“Oh, excellent idea.” Jessica signaled the waitress. 

“Jess,” Alice hissed.

“What? We’ve been over this.” Jessica smiled winningly at the waitress and patted Bella’s shoulder and ordered her favorite de-stressing drink. “She wants a whiskey neat.”

The waitress smiled back and looked to Bella. “Can I see your ID?”

“See? Elderly my ass,” Jess said. “Do the elderly get carded?”

Alice wagged a finger at Jess as the waitress walked away. “Can’t you at least try to be supportive? What are you even doing? She can’t drink that.”

“Don’t you get it? I’m going to drink it for her. That way Bella can have her drink. I’ll take one for the team.”

Both Bella and Alice snorted. “What?” Jess said, all wide-eyed innocence. “Straight whiskey is disgusting. This is a sacrifice I make for my dear, knocked up friend.”

“What would I do without you?” Bella patted Jessica’s hand.

Alice brought them back on topic. “So, what about Edward?”

“He’s clean. Or if he isn’t, he didn’t give me anything.” That had been a relief. Her doctor had ordered blood tests before her appointment, and so was able to give her the news that her STD battery had come back negative.

“No, Bella.” Alice laughed. “I mean, did you show him the sonogram like he asked?” 

Bella frowned. She pulled the sonogram toward her and turned it one way, then the other. “You really think he wants to see this? I don’t even know what to think of it. It’s a blurry blob.”

“Aw, it’s not a blob.” Jess grabbed for the sonogram. “This is your baby!”

Of course, the waitress chose that moment to reappear. She gave Bella a hard side-eye as she set down her whiskey. “Can I get y’all anything else?” she asked, her tone clipped.

“We’re good for now,” Alice said, her tone wry.

As soon as the waitress wandered away again, Jessica picked up the whiskey and dumped it into her glass of Coke. “Doesn’t that feel better, Bella? Aren’t you relaxed now?”

“Oh, sure.” Bella sipped her water. “Hits the spot.”

She sighed and tapped the sonogram. “It doesn’t feel like a baby.”

“Strictly speaking, it’s not a baby. It’s not even a fetus yet. Next week, I think,” Alice said.

Both Bella and Jessica stared. She smirked. “I got curious. I looked things up. It graduates to a fetus at nine weeks. That’s just science.”

“I mean....” Bella swallowed hard and looked down at the table. She’d been struggling to put her thoughts into words. “I don’t love it. You know?” She looked up at her friends. “I don’t even feel that cute, ‘aww’ feeling. I was relieved that it had a heartbeat. I know that’s a thing—it can just stop beating, stop growing. I’m glad it didn’t, but I didn’t tear up or anything. There wasn’t that moment like in the movies, where it just amazes me. There’s nothing amazing about what I felt.”

There. She’d said it out loud. It was like a weight off her shoulders.

Alice reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “You of all people know real life isn’t a movie. If you find magic in all this, I think that’s great, but I also think it’s fine if you don’t. I think it’s a job right now without any upsides that I can see. You’re sick, you’re tired; you can’t drink or eat sushi. And for what? A little alien unit you can’t see or feel?”

“Yeah, Bella, I think the important part is that you love the baby,” Jess said. “If you don’t feel connected until you give birth, that’s cool, I think.” She wrinkled her nose. “It’s kind of weird, isn’t it? To think you’re expected to love something you don’t even know.”

“Everything about this is weird,” Bella muttered. “It freaks me the hell out. This thing is living and growing in me.” She brushed her hands over her front and shivered, her skin crawling. “I want to keep it. I do. It’s just...also creepy.”

The three of them cackled over this idea for a while as they ate. It was a relief not to have to treat this pregnancy with complete reverence. They joked about the weird shape of not-quite-fetus. Part tadpole, part alien. Its sex organs hadn’t even differentiated yet from every other eight-week embryo. 

As they finished their meal, though, Alice used Bella’s phone to take a picture of the sonogram. 

“What are you doing?” Bella asked, taking the phone back.

“I’m making it easy for you to send Edward the blurry picture he wanted.”

Bella pressed her lips together, glaring. Alice glared right back. “Get it over with,” she said.

“So fucking weird,” Bella grumbled again under her breath as she shot off a quick text to Edward, attaching the picture. “I sleep with a guy, and suddenly I have to show him pictures of my insides? Tell him about doctor’s appointments?”

“What’s really weird is the idea you’re stuck with this guy for eighteen years,” Jess said, picking up on Bella’s actual concern.

“And he’s being sweet about it so far,” Alice said, her tone gentle. “Keep an open mind, Bella. You never know. You might actually end up liking this guy. Like having him in your life.”

“I know,” Bella said with a sigh. “It’s just...forced interaction should be limited to bosses and asshole interviewees. Not my child’s father.” She shook her head. “I’m whining again. This wasn’t the plan, that’s all.”

_~0~ _ ****__

  
Edward: Are you awake?

Bella had to smile at the text, remembering how sorry he’d been for waking her up before. Sweet, Alice had said. That was what had struck her about him that first meeting. He was the picture of the bad boy musician, not yet grown out of his wild youth but with an edge of sweetness instead of the stereotypical assholishness. 

“It feels kind of rude to kiss you like that when I don’t even know your name,” he’d said in the alley, a sheepish expression temporing the smolder he’d been exuding seconds before.

Bella: I'm awake.

Her phone rang almost instantly, which amused Bella. “Who actually uses the phone to talk anymore?” she asked by way of greeting. 

There was a pause on the other end. “I can text you, if you’d like that better.”

“No, don’t worry about it. I was just teasing.” Bella yawned. “So, what’s up? Did you need something?”

“Not really. I was looking at the, uh...dot, baby, thing. I mean—”

Bella laughed. “Don’t worry. I’m not the kind who gets precious about it. I don’t know what to call it either. It doesn’t look like anything.”

Edward laughed, sounding relieved. “Kind of like those pictures of random things in space. You know, a distant planet? Some scientist somewhere knows what every little spec is, but it just looks a really old television. All static and no reception.”

“Probably nothing interesting on anyway. If you could get reception.”

“It’s weird,” he said after a moment.

Bella laughed. “I’ve been saying that.”

“I don’t know what to think,” he said quietly.

“I’ve been saying that too.”

“Yeah.” She heard a rustle, and wondered again if he was laying on his bed. She imagined his longish hair falling just to the side of his eyes. “Hey, Bella?”

Her voice was rougher than usual as she answered. “What?”

“That night?”

Bella’s heart did a weird flip-flop. 

“I get that you weren’t planning on seeing me again.” The painfully uncertain tone had disappeared into a teasing lilt, and Bella blushed in spite of herself. “But, seeing as fate had other plans…”

Bella nearly choked on a laugh. She put the back of her hand to her heated cheek. “Are you trying to seduce me?”

“Possibly,” he dragged the word out. “You tell me, Bella. Maybe I wasn’t reading the room right, but you seemed like you were into it. Into me.”

“Ah, I seem to remember you were the one into me,” she quipped, leaning on the word into so he would hear the double entendre.

He chuckled. “Hey, I’m an open-minded kind of guy.” His tone dropped again. “If you wanted to be into me, I wouldn’t say no.”

Gah. That put all sorts of images in her head. She threw her arm over her eyes and shook her head, glad he couldn’t see her. “That is…” She had to clear her throat. “As interesting as that proposal is, maybe we should, I don’t know, have a conversation with our clothes on.”

“I have clothes on right now.”

“Ha.” She took a deep breath, beating back her libido. “Seriously. If you’re going to stick around, I think it would be a good idea for us to spend a little time together. Figure each other out a bit.” She actually hadn’t known she was going to say it until it was out there. Most of her still wished he would just leave her alone, writhed at the idea this stranger now had a place in her life she had virtually no say over. 

But he’d had a point. All the time she’d spend with him, she’d enjoyed him. It wouldn’t hurt to find out if they could be friends.

“Okay.” His voice sounded tight now. “Yeah, okay. That makes sense.” He paused a beat. “I don’t want you to think I’m not taking this seriously. Just… I don’t know. We’re already doing the time. Why not get more out of the crime?”

“We do sin so good.” Bella hummed to herself and shivered, remembering the way his hands moved over her body. “But, I wouldn’t put it past me to fall asleep with my face in your crotch. Think of how awkward that would be.”

He made a surprised noise—half laugh, half choke. “Ahh, I mean. I can think of a lot worse situations. And that sounds like a challenge,” he said, his voice dropping to that gravely tone again. “You don’t think I could figure out how to keep you awake?”

She bit her bottom lip, closing her eyes. “Nice try, stud. I’ve got a feeling my motion sickness would put an end to that ride before either of us wanted to, though.”

“Ah. No, I guess that would be a problem. So, a date then?”

The word date made her stomach twist. “No labels. Just a meeting. A conversation.”

“A place to start?” 

“Yeah. Exactly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:My alien unit is looking more like a baby every time I get to take a peek at her. Hehehe.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Soooooooooooo. Hope everyone’s weekend is going okay.

Her tighter clothes were getting snug. Bella frowned at herself in the mirror, turning this way and that, examining her body. 

There were women who loved pregnancy. Bella had never understood those women. There were no positives to pregnancy except the outcome. Some people liked the idea of a baby moving inside them. As far as she could tell, Bella wasn’t one of those people. The idea creeped her out a little. Who knew? She supposed she’d have to see.

Regardless, as of now, she really wasn’t a fan of the condition. Her body was becoming a stranger to her. Weaker and more sickly. 

Thicker. 

Bella frowned in the mirror and rolled her eyes at her reflection. She was far too aware of her looks these days. It went with the territory, seeing as she had to be on camera all the time. She was having to be careful about her wardrobe already, and it was still early.

Worrying about how she looked for work was acceptable to her. What she really shouldn’t be concerned about was this little get together with Edward. It wasn’t a date, she reminded herself. She absolutely shouldn’t care about how her ass looked in these jeans or whether she should wear her hair up or down.

She’d liked it, a lot, when he snaked his hand into her hair, done up for the wedding, and sent it tumbling down her back. She still remembered the thrill of anticipation, how she felt wild and starved for his touch.

The kid...man...confused the hell out of her. Part of her couldn’t quite take him seriously because he was so young. It was one of those ironic facts of life. When you were in your early twenties, you think you know everything. As you get older, you realize early-twenties you was a jackass. But, she also remembered how annoying she’d found condescending thirty-somethings when she was his age. 

On the other hand, there was the part of him that had drawn her to him in the first place. The musician who oozed sex appeal—careless hair and that smirk that had been her undoing. She was attracted to him. There was no getting around that. She wanted him to be attracted to her. 

She supposed she could be forgiven for feeling ever so slightly self-conscious about being nearly thirty-seven years old and accidentally knocked up when facing down a sexy twenty-something in his prime. And one who’d flat out told her he wanted to have sex again. She’d been serious when she told him she didn’t think it was a good idea, but, well, she couldn’t help that she knew for a fact he could play her body as skillfully as he played his guitar. 

“Get over yourself,” she instructed her reflection. This whole thing had her more out of sorts than she was used to being. Planning her life had always been a strong point. Now, she felt like she was living her life from one hour to the next. 

Well, at least this next hour included a meal.

**_~0~_ **

**  
This wasn’t a good idea.**

**When they’d talked a few days before, trying to decide where to meet up, the conversation had somehow gotten around to how she felt calm when she drove out to the lake. It was a nice set up—cute shops, restaurants, and other eateries.**

**Now, it seemed like this place would set the wrong mood. For one thing, it was a perfect day. Clear blue skies. A breeze ruffled her hair as she got out of her car. It was just breezy enough to cool off the late summer day. Even from a distance she could hear the lull of the waves on the beach.**

**Yeah. Romantic.**

**This was a bad idea.**

**She looked around as she started for the walk above the shoreline. She hadn’t gotten very far when she spotted Edward leaning halfway into a Volvo of all things. Her step faltered.**

**Well. _Someone_ had paid special attention to how good his ass looked in jeans. They were black. And painted on. He straightened up. Jesus, he had nice lines. His arms and shoulders had definition that pleased her eyes, especially in that black shirt. He stretched, his back to her, and ran a hand through his already-tousled hair. **

**“Okay, hormones, sit down.” Bella shook her head at herself and walked forward to face the music.**

**As it happened, Edward didn’t turn around until she was almost to him. When he did and saw her, she could swear some of the blood drained from his face. It only took him a split second to recover, though. He grinned, and his voice was smooth when he greeted her. “Hey, Bella.” He hesitated a beat but then reached a hand out to take hers. He pulled her to him for a sweet hug, releasing her quickly. “How are you feeling?”**

**“Today is a good day. I might actually be able to eat dinner.”**

**“That’s a good thing.”**

**“So, I didn’t picture you in a Volvo,” Bella said, teasing a bit as they walked toward the shoreline. “Isn’t the bad boy musician image supposed to come with a motorcycle?”**

**He snickered. “How does that work? A guitar is about the smallest instrument for most non-classical musicians. It’d be hard to ride a motorcycle with a guitar strapped to your back.”**

**“That’s true.”**

**“But the Volvo isn’t mine. It’s my mom’s.”**

**That raised a whole slew of questions again. If he and his mother shared a car, did he live with his parents?**

**Luckily, Edward continued without her having to think of a delicate way to proceed. “I had to sell my car.” He sounded wistful. “Which sucks. It was a sweet thing. Fast. Lots of power.”**

**“Spoken like a man who’s had a speeding ticket.”**

**“Ah, yeah.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m good at that.”**

**“Is that why you had to sell your car? To pay off all your tickets?”**

**“And then some.” He shrugged. “What you said before? The bad boy thing? I guess I took that too far for a little while. I got into some trouble. My parents ran up a lot of debt to keep me out of jail. Selling the car didn’t even put a dent in what I owe them.”**

**For the second time in just a few minutes, Bella had so many questions.**

**“That sounds bad.” Edward stopped short, turning to look at her. “I don’t want you to think I’m dangerous. It wasn’t like that. No one got hurt. I’m not ashamed to say a couple of days in jail set me straight. I work hard now. I’m figuring out my life.”**

**Bella held her hands up. “You don’t need to justify yourself to me.”**

**“I kind of do, don’t I? I wouldn’t want to be around some kind of violent freak.” He paused a beat. “I wouldn’t want my kid to be around that.”**

**“How do you know I’m not a violent freak?”**

**His lips did a weird crinkling motion as he tried to process that, and he waggled his eyebrows at her. “I guess I don’t. But at least we know neither of us went to jail for being violent assholes, right?”**

**“Hey, everyone has to start somewhere.”**

**They walked along for a few moments in a mostly easy silence before Edward laughed. “I was just thinking. It’s funny to have a first date after—Well. Everything.” Edward flashed her a grin.**

**He really did have the best smile. “I don’t want to be a dick about this, but I just want to make sure we’re on the same page.” She glanced at him. “This isn’t a date date. You know?”**

**He shoved his hands in his jeans pockets as they walked. “I know that.”**

**“Neither of us were looking for a date that day.”**

**His smirk came back. “That’s true. It doesn’t mean I wasn’t looking for a date the next day though.” He considered her. “Really? You never even thought about it? I was easy to walk away from?”**

**“Ha.” Now it was her turn to grin at him. “Let me set the scene for you. I was getting ready to go—had somewhere to be—and there you were, fast asleep, bare-ass up.” She tilted her head skyward. “You do have a nice ass.”**

**“That’s good information to have.” He walked with the slightest bit of a strut, and Bella laughed. “I was a fan of your ass too.”**

**“I remember.” There had been little nips. The memory made her flush.**

**“So, after seeing me ass up, you did want to see me again.”**

**“I didn’t really think about it,” Bella said. “I wasn’t going to wake you up before I left. It’s not that I don’t date or that I’m against it. It’s just never been a priority. And when I do date, it’s usually someone who’s known me for a while. I had a thing going with one of my first camera guys a few years back.”**

**“Your camera guy?”**

**Bella went to the edge of the boardwalk, folding her arms over the railing and looking out over the water. “I guess we haven’t talked about what I do for a living. I’m a field reporter for the news. You know. ‘We’re going to our reporter, Bella, who’s on the scene with…’”**

**“You’re on TV? I guess it’s a good thing the only hickey I gave you was on your ass.”**

**Bella burst out laughing at that. Edward grinned, but was quickly distracted by the clanging bell of the boat that did one hour cruises around the lake. He nodded his head in the direction of the dock. “Come on. I got us tickets for the sunset cruise.”**

**“You already got the tickets?”**

**“I can get a refund if you want.” He didn't sound remotely abashed. “But come on. You’re just going to look at the lake? I mean, my preference is jet skiing, but I’m pretty sure that’s a no-go for preggos.”**

**Bella crossed her arms over her chest but took a few steps forward. “Are you trying to seduce me?”**

**“No. I’m trying to charm you.” He fell into step beside her. “That’s okay, right? Would it be so bad to find me charming?” He made a wide-eyed expression with a sweet, little-boy smile.**

**“Aw.” She pinched his cheek. “Okay. We’ll go. I haven’t thrown up at all today. We should go find out if seasickness is yet another charming symptom of pregnancy.”**

**Some minutes later, Bella stood at the railing of the boat, watching the ripples of the water as the boat moved. She felt a warm hand on her back.**

**“Are you okay?” Edward asked. “I thought you were kidding about seasickness.”**

**Raising her head, Bella found him startlingly close. Her body thrilled with anticipation, as though she were expecting him to put his arm around her.**

**“I was kidding. At least, I hope I'm kidding. I was just looking at the water.”**

**He set a ginger ale in front of her. “Just in case.”**

**“Thanks.”**

**“Mmhmm.” Edward stuck his hand out, and Bella wondered if he was imagining what it would feel like to trail his fingers through the smooth, cold water. She’d always loved that feeling—the pressure the water made against her skin even as she cut through it so easily.**

**“So, what happened with you and the cameraman?” Edward asked, startling Bella out of her serene moment.**

**She cocked her head, her lips pursed. “Really?” she asked, amused. “That’s what you want to talk about? Romantic history?”**

**“Hell no. I wasn’t thinking about it like that. It was just a question.” His lips turned briefly down as he looked out over the water. “If you told me yours, I’d have to tell you mine.”**

**Bella had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. He was way too young to have that look on his face—like he’d had a lot of bad experiences. “You’ve seen some shit in your day, huh?” she asked, unable to help teasing him. Then, she considered a moment. “Does it have something to do with your legal troubles?”**

**His eyes darted to hers and his cheeks pinked. His voice was gruff when he answered. “How did you know that?”**

**She put a hand to his shoulder. “I’m a reporter. It’s my job to read between the lines.” She was curious, but Edward had said it was nothing violent, so probably nothing he’d done to the person. And, it gave some credence to the world-wary look that crossed over his face. She searched for a subject change instead. “So...what’s your favorite color?”**

**His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but then he laughed, ducking his head. When he looked at her again, his easy smile was back. “Really?” He turned, angling his body so his arm was propped on the railing and he was facing her. “That’s like, one step above talking about the weather.”**

**“Well, what would you rather talk about?”**

**She regretted the question instantly. His eyes darkened, sparked with flecks of mischief, and he glanced down at her lips ever so briefly before he looked back at her. “Truth?”**

**Though she knew it was a bad idea, she nodded anyway. Her heart had inexplicably picked up a too-quick rhythm.**

**Edward shifted again, somehow swallowing more of the already-limited space between them. “I want to talk about how much I want to kiss you.”**

**Bella exhaled in a gust. It would be so easy. If she just leaned forward and tilted her head up. “That's not a good topic of conversation,” she murmured.**

**His eyes traced over her features, and his tone was more curious than anything when he spoke again. “Why is it a bad thing that I want to kiss you?”**

**Because it makes me dizzy and stupid. Bella blinked sporadically and looked out at the water, wondering, not for the first time, why this guy made her so giddy sometimes. She studied her hands. “Look, kissing, all the physical stuff, it’s nice. Obviously. But it gets in the way. It’s too easy to do all that. We’re supposed to be figuring each other out. We’re supposed to be in it for the long haul, you know? Figuring out all the stuff that isn’t kissing?”**

**“Because there’s no kissing in the long haul,” he said, not asking. “Why can’t we do both?”**

**A flash of irritation went through her. She turned, leaning her back against the railing and crossing her arms over her chest. “Don’t you know how to take no for an answer?”**

**He held his hands up in a placating gesture. “Hey, I’m over here. I haven’t even touched you.” His smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Not saying I don’t want to—obviously—but I did take no for an answer.”**

**“That’s a fair point,” Bella said, calming.**

**An uncertain look came over his face, and he rubbed the back of his neck. His cheeks went pink and he shifted as though he were nervous. “It’s just...shouldn’t we at least be thinking about it?”**

**It took Bella a minute to parse what he was really asking. “Do you think we should be together just because we’re going to have a baby together?”**

**His cheeks went bright red at that. “Some people would say that’s the right thing to do.”**

**She opened her mouth, closed it, and then laughed somewhat maniacally. She ran her hands over her face. “I’m sorry. It’s not that I’m not taking you seriously. Just...trust me. I know first hand what happens when you get married just because you got pregnant. My parents’ marriage lasted less than a year.”**

**“My parents got married when they got pregnant with my brother. They’re still together.”**

**“That’s really great,” Bella said gently. “I don’t know their circumstances, but ours are that we barely know each other. Maybe I’m being too rational about it, but I can’t go into a relationship based just on the fact I’m attracted to someone, and I think he’s a talented musician.”**

**He nodded, his posture easing somewhat. “That makes sense. I’m just saying we could have both. When you go on a date, if it goes well, you kiss on the first date, don’t you? While you’re still getting to know each other? I don’t see why it has to be different.”**

**Relentless, this guy. “It’s bad timing, though. Let’s just put aside we can’t just date—because dating can end at any time, and we’re going to have to figure out how to get along for the rest of our lives. The pregnancy aside, it’s not a good idea. If everything goes the way I want it to, I’m going to be moving in a few months, maybe. Hopefully.”**

**At first, he stared at her without comprehension. “Wait. What?”**

**“My boss just told me they're considering me for an anchor position at a different station.”**

**“Like...in another city?”**

**“No.” She couldn't read his face at all. “In another state.”**

**Edward balked. “Wait. I don't… I mean, you can't… You can't do that.”**

**Taken aback by the words and the anger in his tone, Bella took a step away from him. “Excuse me?”**

**“How could you even think of doing that?”**

**“How can I think of taking a better position?”**

**“Fuck the position.”**

**Edward's raised voice caught the attention of the other cruisers. Luckily, they were docking again. Bella walked away from him quickly. She fumed as she got to the line well ahead of him.**

**It didn't take him much to catch up with her, and she was ready when he did. “Do you want to try that again? This time without telling me what I can and can't do with my life?”**

**“It’s not your life.”**

**Bella stopped short and glared. He was glaring right back. “You can't leave the state with my kid.”**

**“Hey, ace. I don't know if you noticed, but the kid is currently lodged inside me. I leave the state, it comes with. And the fact you think you have anything to say about that is slightly psychotic. There's my life and there's your life. Get that through your head right now, or we're going to have a problem.”**

**His eyes blazed. “You think we're not going to have a problem if you take my kid out of state?”**

**A chill went down her spine. “Are you threatening me?”**

**“Don’t start drama. That’s not what I meant. I’m just saying if you think you can do whatever the hell you want—”**

**“I’m done with this conversation.” Bella spun on her heel, storming away. Edward called after her, but didn’t follow her.**

**She shuddered as she locked herself in her car. So much for getting through a whole day without feeling like she was going to throw up.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m guessing the next chapter of this is going to speak to me pretty quickly, but my mojo has been conspicuously absent of late. Reviews feed mojo. I’m just saying.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: My, my, my. Quite a few of us claim we would be willing to give up our lives and jump into a relationship with a total stranger. ;)
> 
> Many thanks to everyone who indulged me in conversation about last chapter. It’s extremely helpful to me.

“One drink. Why can’t I have just one stiff drink?” Bella groused as her friends gathered the day after her clusterfuck of a meeting with Edward. She rubbed her temples. “He gets to get drunk off his ass. He drunk texted me last night.”

“Ooh, drunk texting.” Jessica threw herself down on the couch, putting her legs up and her feet on Bella’s lap. “Anything good? Drunk texts are the best for blackmail purposes.”

Bella smirked. “No. At least, I don’t think so. He was drunk. It looked like an alien language.”

“The most important question is, was he a dick?” Alice asked, sitting on the coffee table.

“No. He said he was sorry for causing a scene. Apparently, I caught him by surprise.” She sighed. That, obviously, hadn’t been her intention. Her tone was wry. “He said we should talk.”

Jessica snorted. “Yeah. Like you’ve been trying to tell him. If he’d stop trying to get his dick wet for five seconds, maybe you could have gotten around to discussing the unimportant things, like jobs and life plans.”

“Purely playing devil’s advocate here, because you know I'm on your side,” Jasper said, handing Bella a bottle of beer which she gratefully took. “Didn’t you ever stop to think the fact you’re probably going to move would be a shock?”

Bella scoffed. “What haven’t I thought about? I don’t know this kid, Jasper. I have no idea what he actually thinks about anything. I hate this. I hate having to walk on eggshells because I don’t know enough about him to guess how he’s going to react. I’d hoped he could be a grown-up and react calmly no matter the circumstance and, to be frank, I was more concerned at the moment that he’d react badly to being rejected. I didn’t have a fit when I found out he’d done time. Is he a felon? Is he on probation? He said it wasn’t a violent offense, but can I trust him to tell the truth? Violent offenses aside, whatever he did could be awful. He could still be a sex offender. He could have robbed a little old lady blind.” She shook her head, raising the beer to her lips.

Then, she gasped, yanking the bottle away from her mouth so quickly, the contents splashed all over her. “Jasper, what the hell?”

He cracked a huge smile. “It’s ginger beer, Bell. What do you take me for?”

Jessica cackled, and Alice went to get a wet paper towel to help Bella clean up. She sighed as she sat back, contemplating the ginger beer and thinking about Edward’s sweet gesture, bringing her ginger ale in case she got sick on the boat . She sighed. “I’m too used to being a reporter. You can’t assume things about people.”

“That’s like confirmation bias,” Alice said. “If you assume, then you know how you’re going to react going in. Harder to really hear what people are saying.”

“Exactly.”

“And now you know he has a temper,” Jessica said.

“Most of us have a temper when we’re shocked, but he could have handled it better,” Jasper said.

“Yeah.” Bella rested her head against the back of the couch, staring up at the ceiling. “He wasn’t physical. That’s the most important thing.”

“If you’re so worried about something like that, why don’t you look him up in the system?” Alice suggested. “Give yourself the peace of mind that he isn’t a violent criminal.”

Bella tapped her fingers restlessly against the couch cushion. “I’d really rather not. I’ve been trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. I’d rather we figure each other out through conversation, since we’re going to have to learn how to communicate with each other. I had every intention of being honest with him about my life and where I am in it. I expect the same of him.”

“So, what kind of dad are you hoping this guy will be?” Jasper asked.

“Ha.” Bella rubbed a hand over her eyes. “I can't make that choice for another person. I don't have anymore control over him than he does over me. That's part of the conversation I wanted to have. ‘I'm not walking away’ can mean anything. I have no idea what that looks like to him.”

“I dated a guy once. It came up that he was a dad.” Jessica laughed. “He was all about how it was a surprise but real men step up, blah, blah, blah. I found out he called the kid every few months, sent a nice gift at Christmas, and once he'd even taken the kid to a baseball game for his birthday. Which, no judgment. It worked for their family. There was no drama between the baby momma and him. The kid is well loved and taken care of.”

“But it does kind of assume the kid stays with the mother,” Jasper said.

Bella sighed. “When my mother took off with me, I was a year old. She wanted a new life in Phoenix, two states away, and she didn't want my father, but it wasn't a foregone conclusion that she was going to take me with her. She did it with Charlie's permission. It wasn't ideal for him. He'd have preferred to keep me, but he wasn't in a position to take care of his dying parents and a baby by himself.”

“Are you saying you'd give the baby up?” Alice asked, sounding shocked.

“No. That's not what I want. At least, I don’t think that’s what I want.” She put her hands over her eyes. “If you want to know the truth, I have no idea what I want. This baby is just a concept to me. A vague notion. I toyed with the idea of being a mother before, but I was never married to it. Not like everything else I’ve done in my life where I know what I want and I work to get it. 

“I've been dealing with smaller components—take care of the pregnancy, tell the father. I can't think about what my life is going to be like seven months from now until I have all the facts. If one of those facts is that Edward wants to be a full-time father, or at least expects half custody, and another fact is that my job is not limited to this city or state, then we'll have to figure it out.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “And if we can't compromise, the courts will compromise for us. I know the courts have awarded custody to the father when the mother moved. I'm aware of all the possibilities when it comes to custody.

“Until I have more answers, what choice do I have but to keep living my life? I can't control him anymore than he can control me. We have to talk.” She dug the heels of her palms into her eyes and rubbed. “I told him to text me when he was sober. That was yesterday. Does that mean he's still drunk today? Who the hell knows?”

She shook her head, trying to dispel the wave of anxiety that went through her. “Whatever,” she said, sitting up. “I can't think about it anymore. He's going to do whatever he's going to do. Ball's in his court.”

**_~0~_ **

“I’m really sorry, Seth.” Bella rubbed her hands over her face.

She had seen something called pregnancy brain on several websites and hadn’t understood what it meant. It was best described as a weird absent-mindedness. She’d opened her refrigerator to find her wallet sitting there. She’d left important paperwork in her car, remembered it, gone back out, and by the time she reached her car again, despite the fact it was the only thing resting on the backseat, could not for the life of her remember what she was doing outside. 

And now, she had insisted she, Seth, and their news van had to turn right at that major intersection instead of left. It could have been chalked up to an honest mistake except the destination was one they’d been too often. Both of them knew damn well it was a left turn, but her brain had insisted, loudly and vehemently, that it _had_ to be a right turn, goddammit, Seth.

“It’s okay, boss. I keep telling you.” Seth glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes and then back out on the road. “Hey, Bella. You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”

A chill went down Bella’s spine. Honestly, she had been less than impressed with her colleagues. She was surrounded by reporters, and yet not a one of them had put together that she was pregnant. She cleared her throat. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know.” He ran a hand through his hair as they pulled up to a light. “I’m probably reading too much into it, but I hope you know you can tell me anything.”

“Seth, what are you talking about?”

He huffed. “This is why I’m behind the camera. Look, I’m worried about you, okay? You’ve been sick. You’ve been falling asleep at your desk. Now you’re…” He readjusted his hands on the steering wheel. “Well, you’re kind of loopy.”

Bella pressed her lips together, her heart beating fast.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Just...My sister had a problem, you know? For a while there.” He glanced at her again. “With drugs.”

Bella sucked in a breath. She replayed the words in her head.

Then, she burst out laughing.

“I’m sorry.” She clapped a hand over her mouth. “Jesus. That wasn’t funny. I mean, I’m sorry to hear your sister has, had, those kinds of problems, but that’s not what’s going on with me. It’s just funny you leapt to that conclusion when you have the answer in front of your face.”

Seth pulled the van into the station parking lot and turned to stare at her, his brow knitted. “I don’t get it.”

She sighed. It wasn’t like she was keeping her pregnancy secret on purpose. She wasn’t obligated to tell her boss or her coworkers anything, and while she wasn’t showing, that was her preference. Still, the truth was better than Seth thinking she was on drugs at work, and she thought she could be trusted to let her decide when was a good time to tell their boss. “I’m pregnant, Seth.”

The look on his face was priceless. Bella couldn’t help cackling as his eyes bulged and his features contorted. “That’s, uh. I mean. I… You… I didn’t know there was a guy.”

That made her laugh even harder. “There is a guy, and now you know almost as much about him as I do.” She opened the van door. “You know why? Because life’s a bitch sometimes.”

“And then she has puppies,” Seth said, grinning back.

Bella chuckled as she turned around, and then she yelped, finding her boss standing not five feet in front of her. “Mr. Albescu!”

He raised an unimpressed eyebrow, glancing between her and Seth. “It seems like you’re having a good time, Miss Swan, but I was expecting you and Mr. Clearwater back fifteen minutes ago.”

“Traffic.” Bella’s voice squeaked when she spoke. She cleared her throat. “Sorry. We just took a wrong turn. My fault.”

“Hmm.” Mr. Albescu nodded. “Well. Come on then. There are some people I’d like for you to meet.”

Stefan had a way of making Bella feel like she was being led to the principal’s office. She threw a glance back at Seth who mouthed, ‘good luck,’ before she followed her boss into the building. He made a disgruntled noise and dropped his tone. “I don’t like these people,” he grumbled under his breath. “They’re the worst people. Think they’re right. Think they’re _good_. Think they own the world. Because they have money and power. Too much of both. And they’re self-righteous.”

He paused outside his office and pointed a finger in Bella’s face. “But the world is what the world is. These people control your future, and they control mine. You be who they want you to be. Charming and innocent.” He gave her what passed as one of his rare smiles, a twitch of his lips. “Personally, I like you with that edge of sass, but you keep your nose clean in front of them, you got it?”

Bella wouldn’t have been as good as she was at her job if she couldn’t think on her feet. She straightened up, and put on her brightest, Mary Sunshine smile. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Boss. I’m innocent as a lamb.”

“Of course.” He opened his door. “I’m back, gentlemen. Let me introduce you to our Bella Swan.”

**_~0~_ **

Bella had never had the dubious pleasure of meeting some of the senior members of the Volturi Media Group, the conglomerate Bella ultimately worked for. The people in that meeting were way higher on the totem pole than Bella had ever expected to meet unless she got to the national level. They were several levels above the people who would make the decision to transfer Bella to an anchor position. 

What the hell they were doing in her minor station, Bella had no idea.

Mr. Albescu was right. They were infuriating on many levels—the epitome of privileged. They had ideas about the kind of content they wanted to see on the air, and asked for her feedback. There was no doubt in her mind they didn’t give a rat’s ass about her opinion. She navigated the mine field as carefully as she could, telling them as much of what they wanted to hear as she could without losing herself completely.

She was invited out to lunch. For the life of her, she couldn’t figure out what the hell they were doing here and what any of this had to do to with her. Neither of the anchors were there. None of the desk people. Just her and Mr. Albescu.

It was only on the limo ride back that they started to drop hints. There might be a new show in the works. They might have been considering people with experience and flair in the field. They didn’t need anchors.

It was an opportunity Bella could never have suspected existed. She wanted to be an anchor. An anchor’s desk was a good place to be even if she never made it to the national level. By and large, people in her profession didn’t stay still. They were transferred between stations, hopefully moving up with each switch. The show they were hinting at was a risk, but even if it didn’t take off, it would put her in the national eye. It couldn’t be a bad move.

And, the station she’d be based out of was only forty minutes from here.

Regardless, Bella knew she was on her game. The big wigs seemed to be enjoying her. Everything was going well.

As they got out of the limo back at the station, Bella holding the attention of the one that seemed to be the de facto leader, Aro Scarpinato, her attention was drawn by her name being called.

“Are you Bella Swan?”

Bella swung around and cocked her head, finding an unfamiliar woman approaching her. She didn’t look that much older than Bella—maybe ten years or so. She was attractive, familiar somehow, with fine features and caramel covered hair. “Yes, that’s me.”

Very suddenly, the woman’s lovely features twisted. She took several steps forward, getting into Bella’s personal space. When Bella took a step back, the woman followed. “I want you to listen to me, you little bitch.”

Bella balked, sure she’d heard wrong. “Excuse me? I—”

“What the hell is wrong with you that you would seduce my son? It’s not money. He doesn’t have money. He doesn’t have much of anything, and now you have him talking about how he’s going to abandon his family, his life, to follow you? Look at you.” The woman gestured at Bella with obvious disgust. “I looked you up. You’re almost twice his age. He’s a teenager. He hasn’t even finished high school. Are you so pathetic you need to trap a boy to feel better about yourself? You’re that insecure?”

For a horrible second, Bella really thought she was going to faint. “A...what?”

The woman was almost nose to nose with her now. “I’m not going to let you ruin his life again. I don’t care if it is his baby you’re carrying, which I don’t actually believe. You do this to my son, I’m going to make sure you pay.”

With that, the woman spun on her heel and marched away. Bella stared after her, one hand braced against the limo while she struggled not to faint or throw up. 

After several long, painful seconds, someone cleared his throat. “We should talk in your office, Mr. Albescu,” Aro Scarpinato said coldly. “Won’t you join us, Miss Swan?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Welp.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Just remember, if you have a question or concern where this story is going, you can always talk to me at any time!

Bella didn’t remember driving home. She remembered finally being released from her boss’s office and how she’d fled the scene like a criminal. 

Was she a criminal? That was one of the many things Aro Scarpinato and his associates wanted to know. There were a lot of answers she didn’t have, and no way to save face in front of men like these. They were all about their self-righteous lectures, and didn’t she understand that if she couldn’t have respect for herself, at least have respect for her position?

She’d bristled. She had a lot to say about why this man who didn’t know her thought he could define how she respected herself. As for his company, she’d hardly done what she’d done with Edward in public. Who she took to her bed was her damn business.

Except, she supposed, when his irate mother showed up at the studio to scream at her.

Back at home, Bella went straight to the freezer. She opened the door and stuck her face in, breathing in cold, stale air in huge lungfuls. Her whole world was spinning on its axis, and for a crazy, panicky moment, she didn’t know how to cope.

Her phone chimed, and Bella squeezed her eyes tighter shut. She knew exactly who’d texted. The only person that had been texting her nonstop for hours. Obviously, if he wasn’t the one who sent her in the first place, Edward had figured out what his mother had done. 

“I don’t want to talk to you,” Bella said to the empty house through her gritted teeth. She squeezed her phone in her hand so tightly she was surprised it didn’t shatter. For what felt like full minutes, she couldn’t breathe around the enormity of how well and truly trapped she was. There was a sense of inevitability—like she was rolling toward a cliff, out of control.

She needed it to stop.

She needed an out.

Bella slammed the freezer door shut and put a hand to her forehead, beginning to pace. She put her other hand to her belly and rubbed. Hard. Just short of too hard.

It could all be over quickly. 

Shaking her head, Bella went to the living room and sat down heavily on the couch. She rubbed her temples, her head spinning. 

She’d thought she was resigned to the idea she had to learn how to deal with this one stranger—Edward. He was still a mystery, but the pieces of him were already so overwhelming to deal with. He was a package with whatever life he’d had before they met. His legal problems—who was to say he hadn’t been part of a gang? His family. His mother alone had the effect of a wrecking ball on Bella’s hard-earned life. Edward also had a father and an older brother. What next? Would they be the threatening type? 

There was no guarantee. 

How was this good for anyone? How was this even a fair thing to bring a baby into? A teenage, ex-con for a father. A grandmother who’d already threatened her.

What the hell would their lives be if she went through with this? 

Her cell phone’s ringtone startled her, and Bella gasped. She knew damn well who was calling. She bit her bottom lip savagely, staring at the phone on her lap, her eyes running over and over his name as the screen lit up. Edward Cullen.

If she connected the call, her decision was made, was final. She had to accept him—whatever the reality was. If he was underage. If his parents were bastards. If his past was trouble. It was all her problem, and she’d have to recommit herself to deal with it. This child would be a reality someday soon, even if it was just a possibility now. 

She huffed out a breath and put the phone to her ear. “How old are you?” she asked in a rasp.

There was a startled intake of breath on the other end. “My mother...she was exaggerating.”

“So you're not a teenager.”

Silence on the other end, and then he sighed. “My birthday is in two days.”

“And you'll be?”

“Twenty.”

Bella closed her eyes tightly. “And you're still in high school?”

“Night school,” he said quickly. “I told you. I was… I mean, I fucked up. For awhile I was fucked up. I dropped out. I could have gotten a GED, I should have, but, I don't know. It means something to my parents that I have a diploma.”

“Well. At least I'm not a criminal. That's something,” Bella muttered, wiping a hand over her eyes.

“Look, I don't know what my mom actually said—”

“It doesn't matter.” Bella took a steadying breath, trying to tamp down her anger. “I don't want to talk about your mother right now because I don't have a lot of nice things to say, and the last thing we need is to start screaming at each other. Again.”

“I...okay. That’s, um, fair.”

Bella was quiet a beat, warring with herself. Then, her tongue got the best of her. “Did you really tell on me to your mommy?”

“No.” He sounded annoyed, which she honestly couldn’t blame him for. 

“Do you live with your parents?”

“I thought you didn’t want to talk about my mother.”

“Fine. Do you live with your father?”

He sighed. “Yes, I live with my parents.”

She fell silent again, and took several deep breaths. Her emotions were all over the place. She knew she should steer the conversation to a safe place to start, but she couldn’t find one. “Just...what the hell did you tell them?”

“I don’t… I don’t really know. I was drunk last night.”

“Again?”

He made a frustrated noise. “This is all wrong. I don’t… I’m not…Agh. I don’t know what I’m doing, okay? I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I’m trying, but I keep getting it wrong, and I don’t know... I don’t know what to do. Can you just give me a fucking break? Can you tell me what the hell you want? Because I don’t know.”

And that? That was the best thing Edward could have said. In the space of his outburst, she calmed down, some of her anger and fear draining away as she recognized his. It was something in common. A good place to start. “I can give you a break if you make me a promise.”

“What promise?”

“You don’t get to talk to me the way you did the other day. I get that you were surprised and upset, but that didn’t give you the right to talk to me like you owned me.”

“I don’t think that.”

“I know. What I’m saying is that we’re going to talk. And something about my life might make you upset.” She grimaced. “And something about your life might make me upset. That’s okay. That’s understandable. We don’t know each other. But we’re going to talk it out instead of demanding things of each other. We’re going to figure out how to work together with what we have. Okay?”

“That... I mean, yeah. That’s fine.”

“Okay.” Bella sat up, pulling her legs up onto the couch and resting her chin on her knees. “I think I need to ask you one thing before we start getting to know each other. And I really need you to think about the answer. I’m not going to judge you either way. This whole thing—obviously, this isn’t the way anyone would want this to happen. But I got to think and decide I was going to keep this baby. I need you to realize you do have a choice. Do you want this baby because you want to be a father, or do you want this baby because you think it’s the right thing to do?”

He made a small, startled noise. When he didn’t answer right off hand, Bella kept talking. “What I’m saying is that I understand. That’s what people say—if you don’t step up, you’re a scumbag. What I’m saying is that I don’t buy that. Or rather, it’s not a given. Our situation is only ours, whatever it turns out to be. I have steady income. Life insurance. Enough for all his or her needs, daycare. All that. I don’t need you to step up, if that’s not what you want. The baby is not going to suffer, and I will never talk down about you to it, no matter what level of involvement you choose to have.”

His breath was ragged. “Is that what you want?” he asked, voice rough. “For me to stay away?”

“That’s not what I’m saying. This isn’t about what I want. Don’t think about me.” She rubbed her temple, trying to find the right words. “You and I...we’re nothing to each other right now. We’re not friends. We’re not dating. We’re strangers who knew each other for an hour before we made a baby. That’s why I’m saying, I need you to start with whether or not you even want to be a father at this point in your life. You’re free to make the choice. I’ve seen what happens when people are forced into parenthood, the resentment one parent can put on the other and the child. You, me, him or her—none of us deserve that if we can help it, and, in our case, we can.”

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath.

“If you need time—”

“I don’t.” His voice was small and thin. “I have been thinking about it.” He laughed bitterly. “That’s kind of all I think about. And I don’t know, you know? I don’t know how I feel about being a dad. It’s… I mean, the thing is just a thing. A blob. It doesn’t even look like a baby, and you don’t look like you’re pregnant. I can’t see it. I can’t...I mean…”

“It’s just an idea right now,” Bella said gently. “I get that.” When she thought of the pregnancy, she didn’t see a fully formed baby in her head. The idea one would eventually appear was a far-off concept. 

“What I know is that I can’t pretend this never happened. I can’t know he or she exists somewhere, and not know them. That’s the only thing I know—that I can’t walk away completely.”

“I get that too.”

“But you’re moving?”

Bella scoffed. Bile and rage rose again in her throat, making it hard to speak. She had to swallow several times, and when she did, her voice came out rough. “Yeah. Your mother well and truly put the nail in that coffin.”

“What do you mean? What did she do?”

She had to work to unclench her jaw. “The way the news business works is this. Stations like mine are owned by a national or even international company. We’re all connected. Affiliate stations, they’re called. People can be transferred at any time between any affiliate stations. I was in New Mexico when I first started out. I was transferred to two stations there before I came here.

“The news business is also not a place you can afford to stay still.” She closed her eyes, her head spinning again. She had to push past the despair that welled inside her. So many years of work, gone in a heartbeat today. “It’s very unlikely I can be a field reporter forever, so not moving up or on isn’t a long term option regardless. I was supposed to be up for an anchor position.” She swallowed hard again, fighting to remain calm, though she couldn’t quite keep the bitterness out of her voice. “Ironically, it could have worked out perfectly. The big dogs, the guys in charge of the national business, were in my station. I can’t be sure, but I think what they were getting at is that I was being considered for a national job, which is quite a few steps above the anchor position I was aiming for. And it would have been thirty miles from here. Really close.

“But your mother has the worst timing ever. If she had done what she did in front of my boss, it probably would have been fine. He knows me. These people? They don’t know me, and they’re pretentious assholes. Your mother showed up in front of them accusing me of seducing underage boys.”

“What the hell?” Edward said.

“I’m being transferred, without a promotion, to a small, conservative town in Washington called Port Angeles.” She took another breath, dizzy all over again at the thought. “In two weeks.”

“But you weren’t the one… I mean, we both… and I’m not… I’m legal. I’m an adult.”

“That’s not how she made it sound.”

“I could tell them. I could talk to them.”

In spite of herself, Bella smiled. She closed her eyes against the sting of tears she refused to let fall and sighed. “That’s sweet, but that’s not how it works. They’ve already got into their heads I’m a liability.” 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t ask her to do that. To find you like that. I had no idea what she did until she told me she went to talk to you. Shit.” His voice was strained. “I came home again last night, not in a good way.”

“Drunk,” Bella said without inflection.

He paused a beat. “I don’t drink all the time. It’s not like that. I just...I told you. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Bella clenched her jaw but relaxed it after a second. She chuckled. “I’ve been whining to my friends that I can’t drink, so I get it. Sorry. You were saying, you were upset last night.”

“Yeah. And it all came out. Just everything I’ve been thinking. And I’ve been thinking a lot of things.” If it were possible, his voice got even more nervous. “One of the things I thought about was that if you had to be somewhere else, I would go. I should go, I thought. I don’t know. Nothing sounded right, but it was one of the things I said.

“And my parents flipped out. Which is my fault.” He huffed. “That’s what I did before.”

“You followed a girl?” Bella guessed, putting together the pieces. He’d dropped out of high school and said his legal troubles were woman-related.

“And she was older,” he hedged.

Bella’s stomach twisted. “And pregnant?”

“What? No. Jesus.” He gave a nervous laugh and started to ramble a bit. “She got me into a lot of things. Drug stuff, mostly. Selling. A little grand theft. I told you. It was all really stupid. It made sense when she said it, but it was stupid, and I was stupid. I don’t do any of that stuff anymore, and you’re nothing like her. I told them that. It’s not the same thing.” 

“But Momma Bear wouldn’t trust your judgment on that one,” Bella said, again just putting pieces together. She massaged her temple. “So, to recap. You ran away. Got into drug and assorted other crimes for a woman. Are you...I know you said they kept you out of jail, but did you get convicted?”

He sighed. “I got six months probation. Which is done.” 

“And you got a job, two jobs, went back to school.” She palmed her forehead. “And now you’ve knocked a woman up and were talking about walking away from everything all over again.”

“Yeah. That...yeah.”

Bella chewed the inside of her cheek. “Your mother said she was going to make me pay,” she mused. “She did a better job than she expected, I think.”

“I’m—”

“You don’t have to apologize for what she did. I don’t know the long term consequences of this.” Her heartbeat picked up in speed as she again considered the overwhelming possibilities. Since she’d managed to piss off people so far above her boss’s bosses, would upward movement ever be possible? She hadn’t lied when she told Edward she couldn’t remain in the job she was in forever. Though there were exceptions here and there, people did not grow old as field reporters. “I believe you when you say you had nothing to do with what she did.”

“Okay.”

“Your mother doesn’t believe you’re the father.”

“You said you were sure.”

“I am, but you don’t know me. I’m asking you if you believe me.” She softened her tone. “It’s okay if you don’t.”

“I do.” His voice was strong, certain, and again, Bella had to smile. He really did have a sweetness to him.

She thought a moment, trying to find the right words. “I can’t tell you what to do or what’s right for you or even what I want,” she reiterated. “But, I’m going to offer a very basic opinion right now.”

“Okay.”

“I don’t think you should give up your life to follow me. You have a support system, you don’t have to pay rent, you have a job. Do you want to go to college?”

“I...Yeah. Yes. That’s the...that was the plan.”

“I just need you to hear that you don’t have to drop out to work full time and support yourself and a baby. That’s not our story. That’s a lot of people’s story, but it’s not ours. And I’m not forgetting that you want to be involved. I’m not going to forget this kid is yours, Edward. While you’re putting your life together, figuring out what you want to do, all that? We can figure out how to get you to me or me to you to see the kid. We can call. And Skype. We can work it out.” She pressed her lips together, uncomfortable with the next part, but resigned to it. “We’re even going to talk about our values. The things you want for the kid, the things I want. I promise I’m listening. You’ll be the kid’s father. 

“I know it might not be exactly what you thought about, if you ever thought about being a father someday, but you still get to think about your own life. You're just starting out. Once you start paying rent, everything gets more complicated. It's hard to get ahead. Some people never do.”

“I don’t know…”

“You have time to think about it.” Bella nodded to herself. “I want to be your ally, Edward. I want my kid's dad to be happy and fulfilled, with a full and interesting life. I think that's valuable. It’s a valuable thing to show a kid. And I don’t think a conventional family set up is the only kind where a kid can be happy.”

“It’s not bad. An unconventional set up, I mean,” he said, though he sounded a tinge uncertain.

“It’s also worth thinking about that I can’t promise I’m going to be stable. I don’t know where I’m going to land either. Right now, I have to go to Port Angeles. I have to follow my job, my health insurance. I have to figure out which of my bridges are burned to the ground, and reevaluate where I am. The point being, I can’t promise where I’m going to be in a year or two. That’s worth thinking about when you’re thinking about what you want for yourself and our kid.” 

She tapped her fingers restlessly on the couch. Her head was getting too full, her thoughts pulling in too many directions. “We’ll talk some more. We’ll talk through all this no matter what.” Bella pinched the bridge of her nose. “Just give me a little bit. I have to figure out how to uproot my life in the next two weeks.”

“I’m really sorry about that.”

“I know. Are we okay for now?”

“I’m okay if you’re okay.”

“Ha. I’m okay with you. Other than that…” She shook her head. “We’ll figure it out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The last two chapters have been endlessly fascinating in the discussion they’ve resulted in. Can’t wait for this one. Again, thank you to everyone who indulges me in conversation.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hellllllllo, my ducks! Hope you’re having a fabulous week!

“It’s not that it won’t be great to have you here, Bells. It’s been half your life since you’ve been back in the Pacific Northwest.” 

Bella looked at her father and pressed the cold can of beer he’d handed her to her palm. She wasn’t going to drink it, of course, but the iciness helped. She raised an eyebrow. “Was that the end of the question?”

Charlie grimaced. “You know I don’t like to pry, but it’s been a few weeks and the story hasn’t come out on its own. I just can’t figure how you ended up here in Port Angeles.” He fixed her with a serious look. “This isn’t upward motion, is it?”

Heart pounding, Bella blew out a long, slow breath. It was insane how nervous she was. She was thirty-five years old, but the fact she was about to confess to her father that she’d gotten knocked up made her feel like she was all of sixteen. “That’s a complicated story.”

“Well, we unpacked the last of your boxes today.” He looked around at her new place. “And I don’t have anywhere else to be.”

She smile weakly. “Is this why you sent Sue and Seth home without you? So you could interrogate me in private?”

Charlie quirked an eyebrow right back at her, mirroring the look she’d made not a minute before. “Why? Commit any crimes lately?”

“Ha. Well.” She cleared her throat. “You see—”

She was interrupted by a knock at the door. The noise made her jump. She and her father exchanged a look. “You expecting someone?” Charlie asked.

“No.” She furrowed her brow as she got to her feet.

“Check the peephole,” Charlie called, pacing her, hand at his hip as though his gun rested there.

Bella had to stop herself from rolling her eyes, but she smiled fondly. Her occasionally overprotective father. She obliged him by looking out the peephole.

“Son of a bitch,” she muttered, pulling away from the door as though it had burned her. 

“Are you okay? What is it?” Her father came to stand beside her, a hand to her shoulder.

Bella rolled her eyes toward the ceiling as the person behind the door knocked again. “I’m fine. He’s fine. Just… His whole fucking family has the worst sense of timing.” She shook her head. Better to get this over with. She opened the door.

A very wet, very disheveled looking Edward stormed inside with a guitar case over one arm and a duffel bag over the other. He set both his burdens down and started to pace at the same time he started to vomit words. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I wasn’t going to come here. I was going to get a hotel, but I went, and I figured out my parents had blocked my credit card. I have a bank account. Of course I have a bank account, but I don’t have the card in my wallet. The banks are closed. I can get a new card tomorrow and some money, but—”

“Edward.”

He spun toward her, his expression pleading. “They flipped. Again. I know none of this is what they want. The plan was to live with them while I got my AA at a community college.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I knew. They told me, when they took me back, they told me I had to walk the straight and narrow. After everything I did. All the things that could have happened to me. All the things that did happen to me. They said they’d help me if I played by their rules. And that was okay, you know? I was okay with that. I was okay with everything.

“But they keep talking like you and the baby don’t exist. Dad talked about taking a trip for New Years. We used to do that. I said I wanted to be here. They didn’t understand why I’d want to be in Washington. It was like they already forgot. I told them the baby would be born around New Years. I want to be here for that, if I can. Help a little. Just a little. But I would miss the vacation. And I would probably miss the beginning of school, so I said maybe I would take a couple of online classes only that semester. I’d still have the fall semester, and—”

“Hey.” Charlie snapped. Loudly.

Both Edward and Bella jumped. Edward actually stumbled back two steps, obviously shocked to find someone else in the room. Bella might have felt sorry for him, except—

“What the hell baby are you talking about?” Charlie asked, shaking a finger at Edward. He looked to Bella, and she had to stop herself from taking a step back too. “What baby? And who the hell is this? He’s what, twelve?”

“I’m not… I’m not twelve.” Edward, who’d gone bright red, ducked his head, sounding every bit a petulant teenager. 

“He’s in his twenties. Now.” Bella winced, and tried to remember she was also not a teenager. “It’s a long story, Dad. But I’m pregnant. It’s his, and it’s complicated.”

Silence descended. A very awkward, uncomfortable, horrible silence.

Then, Charlie grunted. He picked up the beer he’d given to Bella and shoved it at Edward. Bella winced again. “He’s...not...legal.”

Charlie looked back and forth between them. Bella struggled not to squirm. He glared hard at Edward who flinched. Charlie shook his head and sat down. “Special circumstances. Sit. Apparently, we have a lot to talk about.”

~0~

Bella’s sense of hospitality kicked in enough that she offered Edward a terry cloth robe while she set his clothes to dry. Then, they settled in for what promised to be a sordid tale.

Edward’s parents didn’t believe Bella was pregnant. And if she was, they didn’t believe Edward was the father. They thought she was, for reasons that escaped her completely, manipulating him into changing his life. They’d argued, and Edward—poor, stumbling Edward who couldn’t seem to find the right words—had babbled about his half-cocked plan.

Bella could see how confused and conflicted he was. She could relieve him of his duty all she wanted, but he kept going back to the how he didn’t think it was fair she had to do it all alone, change all the diapers, get up every night. 

He spoke a lot about duty. Fairness.

“They tried to tell me I didn’t owe you anything.”

“You really don’t,” Bella said.

Edward looked up. “I know that, but I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t know. I just can’t wrap my head around it. Doing my normal life like nothing is going on out here.” He shrugged. “I don’t know. It got bad. There was a lot of yelling, and they basically said it was you or them.”

“You’re telling me your parents are punishing you for thinking you want to be a stand-up guy?” Charlie asked.

Edward looked tired—way more tired than anyone his age had a right to look. “They think they’re punishing me for being an idiot. Tough love.”

“Uh huh. There’s a piece missing here.” Charlie folded his arms and stared Edward down. 

Edward grimaced and looked at Bella. “Your dad had to be a cop?”

“Sorry,” she said with a sympathetic smile. 

To his credit, Edward came clean with Charlie about his brush with the law. “And besides me, they have my brother. I think he used up both of our chances to screw up with them. He always knew what he was doing. He’d tell them every time, and every time they believed him, they’d end up getting hurt. They had to watch him fu—” He glanced at Charlie. “Uh, mess up his life over and over. They’re done with that, I guess.”

Bella scoffed. “I could show them the ultrasound pictures, but I guess that still wouldn’t prove I wasn’t trying to manipulate you.” She looked at him. “So, you didn’t wait for them to cool down, didn’t try again the next morning, you just left?”

“They didn’t give me a choice. They kicked me out.” He sighed. “I didn’t know where else to go. All the friends I had were part of my old life.”

“Jesus.” Bella rubbed a hand over her face.

“It's just tonight. I'll get it together. I'll…I’ll get a job. A place. I'll—”

“Calm down. There's steam coming out of your ears,” Charlie said.

“This is ridiculous,” Bella muttered. “I'm trying _not_ to trap you, and they send you running right to me. It doesn't make sense.”

Charlie chuckled. “Haven’t you learned by now, kid?” He smiled at her fondly. “Life doesn’t give a damn about your plans.”

“Ha. I was having a decent amount of luck with my plans up to this point.” Bella crossed her arms. “Seems like fate saved it all for the last three months.” 

“That’s the way it rolls sometimes.” Charlie made a face and looked to Edward. “I married Bella’s mother because I thought it was the right thing to do. It brought us a fair amount of misery. I got pushed into a job I didn’t really like, and Renee and I? We never should have made it past high school, but I did get a pretty great kid out of it.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Bella said with a small smile.

“And that’s how I met Sue, too. There are a lot of things I wouldn’t have had if my life went the way I had planned. Sometimes you make the decisions that you need to make, not the ones you want. That’s why I let your mother take you when she decided she was moving to Phoenix.” 

He turned to Edward. “What feels right to you, kid? What would you prefer? Do you want to go back to Mom and Dad? Or would it feel better for you to be here, even if it’s harder?”

“Dad—” Bella started.

“I wanted to end up here,” Edward said quietly. “I mean. I don’t know. It’s all…” He waved his hands helplessly. “I don’t know the right answer. But that’s one of the things I said that really pissed them off. I was always supposed to transfer to a university after I got my AA, but I was wondering if I could transfer before that. I was just talking out loud. And I guess going to school out of state is even more expensive, so there’s that.” He took a deep breath, brow furrowed. “I don’t have all the information I need. Before, it was simple. Keep my nose clean. Work. Finish school.”

“Well, they do have schools in Washington,” Charlie said, chiding gently. “But that’s not a conversation that has to happen tonight.” He looked at Edward and then nodded as though he’d decided something. “Here’s your choices that I can figure. You can go back home. Your parents will take you back, I’d bet, if you were ready to follow the path they chose. And it’s not a bad path. You can tell me if I’m wrong, but you sound like you don’t know what the hell you want with your life right now.”

“No,” Edward admitted to the floor.

“So, it might not be a bad thing to be handed a path you don’t have to think about too much. There’s nothing wrong with that. You’re still getting things done; a life you can build on.” Charlie rubbed his hands on his pants. “Or, you figure out how to stay here. You can still figure out college. I’ve helped my stepkids wade through all that.” He smirked. “Bella had herself figured out, but that’s what she does best. The point being, you can write your own path too. It’ll be harder. But there’s not a lot in this world that can’t be undone.”

“Like children?” Bella swallowed down a hard lump in her throat.

“Ah, yes. Those are among the not-undoable.” He rolled his shoulders and got to his feet. “But no one has to make any decisions now. Sleep on it, at least. You can come home with me tonight, if you want, Edward.”

Bella shook her head. “It’s okay. He can stay here. He’s my mess, after all.” She winked at Edward so he would know she was teasing. “I’ll clean him up.” He smiled back with a bemused expression.

After they said their goodbyes to Charlie—who covertly handed Bella a can of pepper spray “Just in case”—they stood in the foyer, staring at each other for an awkward minute. His hair had that disheveled look again, wild as it dried. 

“Well, as long as you’re here, I have something to show you.”

He raised an eyebrow and followed after her when she walked to the kitchen. “I meant to send it to you, but life got a little hectic. I had a scan, an ultrasound, before I left.” She took the scan from where she’d hidden it, tucked away in a cookbook. “Here.”

Wide-eyed and even more pale than when he’d faced Charlie, Edward took the scan from her hands. There were three images there, various angles of their alien unit.

“Oh. It’s, uh… I mean… It’s getting more baby-shaped.”

Bella still thought it looked like an alien. “Humanoid, anyway,” she said. “And I had genetic testing done. A blood test. You know, since I’m elderly.”

“You’re what?” Edward looked away from the images briefly.

“I’m over thirty-five. It means the likelihood the baby could have some kind of defect is increased. It’s still not a huge chance, but it’s a larger chance than if I was in my twenties.”

“Is everything okay?”

“So far so good.” She cleared her throat. “They looked at the chromosomes.”

Edward looked up, obviously confused as to what the significance was. “Do you want to know the sex?” she asked gently.

He shrank back a pace, a strange look coming over his face. “Oh. Uh. Yes? I mean, do you know?”

She nodded slowly, studying him.

He swallowed hard. “Then, yeah. Yeah, of course.”

“It’s got two healthy X chromosomes.”

Edward sat down hard in the chair, staring at the image again. “XX. Oh. A girl. Wow.”

They were both silent for a few long beats. “That makes it more real,” he finally said, his voice only a decibel above a whisper. 

“Yeah.” Bella had to swallow hard. “Yeah, it’s...yeah.”

Edward looked up at her. “So weird,” he muttered.

She had to smile. It was nice, as usual with him, to have someone acknowledge it out loud. “Surreal,” she agreed.

They smiled at each other again, and Bella realized he didn’t feel like a stranger anymore, but a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: WELP. That happened!


	10. Chapter 10: Emmy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Anon asked what an AA is. Community colleges offer associate’s degrees. You can get them in individual subjects—like I was two classes off from having an AA specifically in Sociology—but more often, people get a Liberal Arts AA. Essentially, it means they’ve completed all the general education coursework, and when they transfer to a university, they will (more than likely) be able to choose only courses in their major.

A month went by like nothing. Bella’s first priority was getting to know her new town. She was pretty sure her career with the Volturi Media Group was over, but until she figured out how to move on, she was going to do as she always did—her best.

Then, there was Edward. 

Bella felt for the guy. He'd obviously always had a clear path to follow. It was so ironic. A surprise baby at his age tended to make a person grow up quickly for all the wrong reasons—scrambling to figure out how to support a helpless life before they figured out anything about what they wanted for their own lives. Their baby’s life didn’t depend on Edward maturing so fast, but his own parents had yanked their guidance away and left him with not much more than the clothes on his back. 

It frustrated Bella to no end, but she knew better than to try to fill the mother role in Edward’s life. They had to be friends, partners in raising their child. She didn’t mind that he hadn’t moved out of her place—he was a surprisingly good roommate. She was there when he needed to vent or bounce ideas off someone. But she wasn’t there to guide him. She had her own life to put into some kind of order and sense. 

Luckily for both of them, Charlie had stepped into the role Edward’s parents had vacated. Unlike them, he understood Edward wasn’t bucking parental guidance—which wasn’t exactly atypical for a twenty-year-old in the first place. He was barely more than a kid who’d made enough mistakes to understand how close he’d come to sending his life off the rails. He was already more mature than a lot of twenty-year-olds in that way. He was trying to figure out how to deal with the fact maturity didn’t mean he wasn’t going to make different mistakes.

And Bella was proof that having sixteen years on him hadn’t prevented Bella from making mistakes either. Which was exactly the topic of conversation when her friends came to visit for the first time.

“Saying the pregnancy destroyed my life is an exaggeration,” she said with a sigh. “I chose her. Free and clear, I chose to have her. And it’s not that I regret that choice. I just wonder what would have happened if I’d had all the information; if I’d known everything I know now about Edward.”

She cupped her bump, rubbing her hands over her changing body. “This was a future I was okay with. And I’m still okay with this part. I’m…” She shook her head. “I don’t know how to explain it. Every day she gets more real to me, but I have no hard information about what my life as a mom is going to look like. It’s not something I can touch.”

“It’s always an abstract thing until you live it, I’d think,” Jessica said. “I think about it all the time. Clock’s ticking and all that. And it sounds nice sometimes. It sounds damn nice.”

“But you like drinking too much?” Alice suggested, winking at her.

Jessica grinned. “And I don’t play well with others. Can you imagine me having to deal with other parents? Good god.”

“Yeah, well, that’s going to be interesting,” Bella muttered.

“But, you don’t have hard information about anything in your life really, right?” Jasper said. “You wanted an anchor’s desk your whole working life, but it was never a guarantee. And if you’d gotten it, you can’t know for sure what your life would be like. It might have made you miserable.”

“I know,” Bella said with a sigh. “I hate this tailspin thing.”

Alice rubbed her shoulder. “Is it really that bad?”

“Bad isn’t the word. It’s…” She scoffed. “They’re news people, and I’m the newbie. It didn’t take long for them to figure out I was pregnant. I didn’t give them any part of my story, and they haven’t said anything outright. But they know I’m not married. They know that I came here alone, without even a boyfriend. And it matters,” she said through gritted teeth. “Here, in this station, it matters. My direct boss is more like Aro than my old boss. Not quite as bad, but bad enough.”

“So for you to impress them will take a lot more effort,” Jasper said quietly.

“But not impossible. You’re amazing, Bella,” Jessica said.

Bella smiled. “Thanks, Jess. And I know I can do it. And I know I have the option of looking into one of the other organizations. That could work too. But even then, I wouldn’t look until after the baby was born. Twenty-two more weeks before I can rationally even begin to look elsewhere, or else face another change of doctors.” She stared up at the ceiling. “I guess I’m wondering if it’s time to think about other options. Out of the broadcast news world anyway. I’m not old. I know that. But I’m getting old for this business.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “I don’t know.”

Jasper squeezed her knee. “You’ll land on your feet no matter what you decide.”

“And in the meantime, you have a live-in sex stud,” Jessica said, grinning. 

“Ha. He wishes.”

“Still?” Alice asked.

Bella sighed. “Honey, that poor guy doesn’t know which way is up right now, which is why I wouldn’t be surprised if he couldn’t get it up right now.” She pursed her lips, considering. “You’re going to have to take my word for it that he’s incredibly charming when he wants to be, and I think he’s genuinely sweet. When he gets his feet back under him, the straight or bisexual, female population of the Pacific Northwest are going to be hit like a tornado.”

“But not you?” Jessica asked.

“Why? Are you fishing?” Bella teased.

The unmistakable sound of the key in a lock brought the conversation to a halt. Jessica’s eyes lit up, and before Bella could even process what was happening, she’d darted to the door. “Dammit,” Bella said under her breath as she pushed to her feet. 

Edward had managed to miss her friends to this point. They hadn’t been able to arrange a meeting in the two weeks she had before she moved. They’d arrived for this visit while Edward was at work. They’d been chomping at the bit to meet him for months, so she should have expected they would pounce.

“Jesus damn,” Edward said, jumping as he stepped inside the house and came face to face with Jessica Stanley and her best maneater grin.

“Mm. Jesus damn is right.” Jessica looked him up and down, stepping around him in a dramatic move Bella had only seen on television shows. “I saw you that night, but not up close, which was obviously my loss.” She leaned a hand against the wall and leered at him. “So, I hear you’re good with your hands.”

Edward’s eyes went wide and he took a step backward. Bella rolled her eyes. “Holy hell, can you please go easy on him?”

Jessica smirked at her. “Did you go easy on him? Because if it was me, I’d have ridden him—”

“Ooookay.” Alice ducked between them and took Edward’s hand. “Come with me, young padawan. I’ll protect you.”

Edward glanced between Bella, Alice, and Jessica with a look so bewildered, Bella couldn’t help but laugh. Alice, as she lead him toward the living room, was talking a mile a minute. She introduced herself, Jessica, and Jasper. She assured him Jessica was just trying to make sure he was an honest man.

“Hey. Last I heard, which was like, two minutes ago, he’s single,” Jessica said. 

Edward wrinkled his nose. “You were talking about me two minutes ago? And whether I’m single?”

“Don’t pay attention to her. Sit here with us.” Alice gently pushed Edward down on the couch between her and Jasper.

Jasper offered him a friendly smile and a shot of whiskey. “It’ll help.”

Edward, looking distinctly pale, glanced at Bella. “Why are your friends more terrifying than your dad?”

“Because my dad figured out roughly half my life ago that I didn’t need to be protected.” She folded her arms over her chest and glared at her friends. 

“We just have questions. That's all,” Alice said with faux innocence. “Don't be naive, Bella. You don't think it's creepy that this guy showed up, wet and pathetic, on your doorstep, having crossed what? Three states? Four? To get to you? He couldn't call all that time so you might have a choice whether or not to keep him.”

“Whoa. Whoa.” Edward got up, and for once, he didn't look like an uncertain puppy. He narrowed his eyes at Alice. “Look, I know you all think I'm a stupid kid, and that's okay. I'm a lot of other things too. But I'm no predator. My brother and I both are fuck ups, but that's one thing neither of us ever were—assholes to women. I'm good to the women I'm with.”

Jasper started chuckling. “They were giving you a hard time, hoss. I think you passed.”

Edward blinked, the fury draining from his features. “I just...I want to be a man you can trust,” he said to Bella. “And I want to be a man my baby can be proud of.”

Warmth spread through Bella’s chest at the earnestness in his voice. “You're good people, Edward.”

**_~0~_ **

Another couple of weeks went by. Bella finally decided the queer feeling inside her wasn't gas but was, in fact, her alien unit.

“People say this feels like butterflies. It doesn't feel like butterflies. That's why it took me so long to figure out for sure if it was her,” Bella said, sitting next to Edward on the couch. 

“So what does it feel like?” he asked, his eyes on her belly as though he expected the baby to claw her way out any moment.

“I don't know. Not butterflies. Sometimes...painless grinding.”

Edward’s head snapped up, his eyes wide. “Grinding?”

“Doesn't hurt.” She smirked at the dubious look on his face. “Creepy though, right?”

He wrinkled his nose. “Just...Yeah.” He laughed. “Why would you want your insides to move?”

“I really don't.” Bella shook her head. “It's a relief in some ways. When she moves, I know she's okay in there. It kind of drives me nuts not to be able to see something with my own eyes.”

“Yeah.” He tilted his head, giving her a cautious look. “I think… It’s weird. Obviously, I know she’s there. I know she’s growing. I know I don’t want to forget she exists, but I don’t feel a pull toward her. I don’t feel a connection.”

Bella laughed, and shook her head quickly at the look on his face. “Sorry. You can’t know how relieved I am to hear someone else say that. When it comes to babies and pregnancy, everyone is all about the magic, and the miracle of life. Which, if that’s how you feel about it, fine. I don’t begrudge anyone that. But I wish people wouldn’t begrudge me the fact I don’t find it a miracle. I don’t find this process magical.

“And as for a connection…” Bella waved a hand in the air. “People talk about how mothers know. Mothers love their babies from the minute they’re conceived, from the minute the two blue lines show up. I don’t…” She chanced a glance at him but quickly looked away. “I don’t feel anything for her right now. I’m taking care of myself. I want her to thrive. I’m doing all the things I’m supposed to do, but I don’t feel like a mom. 

“You know what? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I don’t feel guilty about it. I think I’ll be okay. I think when I see her, know what she looks like and sounds like, I’ll have that connection. I’m not worried.” She hated the edge of challenge that rose in her voice. In her, admittedly limited, experience, everyone had an opinion about what she should be feeling or doing. She was almost a hundred percent positive none of them actually cared what her experience was. This, apparently, wasn’t about her.

“She’s an idea.” Edward didn’t look startled or aghast at her outburst. He leaned forward, his expression open. “We know she’s going to be here, but there’s no, what’s the word? Context maybe? I don’t know if I can say I want to be a dad. Not now, anyway. But, I think when she’s real, I’m going to want her. I’m going to know I’m her father. I don’t know what that’s supposed to feel like, but I’ll find out. We’ll find out.”

Bella put a hand on his knee and squeezed. At that moment, there wasn’t a person in the world she felt closer to. At least in this—this monumental part of their lives—they were on the same page. They had the same level of experience in the parenthood arena. That was what she hadn’t been able to explain to Jasper. It wasn’t the same as not having a guarantee about any aspect of her life. She knew how to work. She didn’t know how to be a parent. 

“Hey, I have to ask you something,” Edward said a few minutes later. He ducked his head. 

“Okay.”

“I’ll understand if you say no.”

“Out with it,” she said with a smile.

“My brother wants to see you.”

“See me?” Bella’s eyebrows shot up.

“I mean, me too. But he wants to meet you.” The light in his eyes dimmed. “My parents let him pick up some of my things.”

A familiar rush of irritation tinged with sadness went through her. Except to let him vent when he needed it, Bella tried to keep out of Edward’s business with his parents. There wasn't anything she could do, and they had cost her too much as it was. To an extent, she could understand that. She was a threat to their baby boy’s future. But the fact that they were actively making his life harder drove her up the wall.

Swallowing down the choice words she had for Esme and Carlisle Cullen, Bella concentrated on parsing Edward's request. “Is there a particular reason I wouldn't want to meet your brother?” Edward had never gone into the specifics of what Emmett had done to use up their parents’ patience.

“He has a drug problem. He's supposedly clean right now, but he’s been clean a bunch of times.”

Edward held his hands out, fingers spread wide. “He looks a little scary too. I don’t want you to think he’s dangerous. He’s never been dangerous even when he was using. I wouldn’t ask it at all if I thought he was going to do anything. He’s a good guy, and he’s on our side.”

It was a daunting request. Bella knew from reading between the lines of what Edward had said that the eldest Cullen son had been in and out of prison. She wasn’t naive enough to believe she could trust Edward, a young man who naturally loved his older brother, to be a reliable judge of whether Emmett was dangerous. But that was also a good reason to meet the man now.

Edward had as much right as she did to decide who was going to be around their daughter. She needed to know if there was a reason to fight to keep this man away from her child.

“A short visit?” she asked carefully.

“He’ll be in town a couple of days, but he has a hotel room.”

Bella nodded. “I’d like to meet him, but I don’t want him here unless I’m here. Is that fair?”

Edward nodded back, his look serious and not insulted. “I get that.”

**_~0~_ **

Edward wasn’t kidding. On first glance, knowing damn well he was a hardened criminal, Emmett Cullen was a walking nightmare. For one thing, he was huge. Edward wasn’t a short man by any stretch of the imagination, and his brother towered over him. He was also broad—wide across the shoulders and muscular. He cut an intimidating figure, filling almost her entire doorway. 

For another thing, he was covered in tattoos. His face was relatively clear, though he did have one on the side of his neck. But his arms were decorated with full sleeves. Bella had no personal problem with tattoos, and she would have liked to stare in admiration at several of his. It was just, on a man like Emmett, it upped his intimidation factor by a thousand.

To his credit, it took all of fifteen minutes for the man to dismantle her first impression. He had a disarming smile—decorated by a snakebite piercing, but still somehow charming and attractive. His eyes were clear, and his demeanor calm, even gentle. It also soothed something in her heart to see him so easy and affectionate with Edward. He didn’t hesitate to hug his little brother, and gave him more than one healthy thwack on the back, grinning an endearing, playful smile when he did. He teased his brother, but offered his unwavering support, such as it was.

Most importantly, he believed them. After introducing himself and shaking her hand, he’d looked down at Bella’s little bump and asked how his niece was doing. 

It didn’t take long for them to get down to the conversation about Edward and Emmett’s parents and exactly what the fuck their problem was.

“I’m not making excuses for them, because they’re doing a shitty thing,” Emmett said. “But at the same time, I kind of get it. I've spent so much time in the therapist's office, I think I can tell it right. The story goes like this. Two high school sweethearts get pregnant before they're out of high school. Their parents are dicks about it. They sign the consent to let them get married but tell them constantly they’ll crash and burn.

“They have the most precious, beautiful, smartest baby in the world—"

“Gag me,” Edward muttered.

Emmett didn't even look at him, but cuffed him playfully upside the head as he continued to speak. “—named Emmett Alexander, of course.” His lips quirked. “And because their parents were such dicks, they were determined baby Emmett was going to be perfect. He was never going to cry or scream or step out of line.”

“Oh, jeez,” Bella said.

“They were kids themselves, and they never raised a hand to me. It wasn't like that.” Emmett shrugged. “But it was a lot of pressure. I was an anxious kid who thought he had to be perfect. Locked myself in a bathroom once and cried and cried when I got a B, and then cried some more because I was crying. Big boys don't cry, you know. That was courtesy of my mother's mother.”

He ruffled Edward's hair. “Ten years later, Mom and Dad were thriving. They were doing well at work. They had all their ducks in a row. Had a prim and proper little me. Mom’s parents had backed off. Grandpa Cullen was still being an asshole, but that was who he was. He was an asshole. Beat my father black and blue when he was growing up.

“So, long story short, they decided to have this little shit.” He gestured at Edward. “And things were different for the second child.”

“He got away with things you wouldn’t dream of?” Bella guessed with a small smile.

“Jesus Christ, you have no idea.” Emmett shrugged, his bright smile fading to a more sad one. “Right around that time the emo teenage years struck.”

“You rebelled,” Bella said.

Emmett nodded. “Hard. And big.” He sighed, looking serious then. “I don’t think my parents are assholes, Bella. Not like my father’s father was. They did everything they could to dig me out of the holes I was digging myself into. I broke their hearts so many times. I trusted all the wrong people. I always fell back into bad habits and bad things. And I lied about it. Every time I told them I was clean when I wasn’t. Every time I told them they didn’t have to worry about this friend or that girlfriend. The stories I spun about the people in my life, and how they had to trust me when they thought I was about to do something stupid.

“And while they were busy with me and my messes, they didn’t notice this kid had found a few nasty friends of his own.” He patted Edward’s shoulder. “Not until it was too late, and he’d scampered off to parts unknown, only to come back in handcuffs. Edward was a good teenager up until the very minute he wasn’t, you know what I mean? I had a spiral. An escalation. He was just there one minute—honor roll student, all around nice young man—and gone the next.”

“They still gave me a chance,” Edward said softly.

Emmett nodded. “And all the strict rules I had when I was a kiddo. Which, in this case, might have worked. Except you done fucked up in this, ah… I mean, not that a trick baby is no big deal, but it’s not petty crime, prison, and drugs level of fucked up. I know that, and they know that.”

“But they don’t believe it’s _just_ that,” Bella said.

“They gave me a million chances before they cut me loose to deal with my own shit.” Emmett winced. “It almost broke them. They’ve been burned, and I don’t think they can face going through it all again.”

Emmett blew out a breath and, despite the heaviness to the atmosphere, his grin grew wide again. He pivoted on the couch, looking at his brother. “But tell you what, kid. You never got as deep as I have. I know you’re in over your head right now, but you got this. Your baby momma is all kinds of cool and smart.” He winked at Bella. “And a hottie too.” He ruffled Edward’s hair again, not letting him duck away when he tried. “And you’re smarter than you look. If I can still have a beautiful life—and I’m working on that part too—so can you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hope you’re having a good weekend, lovelies.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: For the record, of course I haven’t forgotten about my other stories. I know my boys have been waiting an obscenely long time. I’m just writing what will actually get past all the STUFF buzzing around in my head. <3 Thank you for your patience.
> 
> My group got naming rights to the baby. Thanks so much for the little nugget you gave me. Truly awesome.

Twenty minutes after the chaos of birth, a peace settled over Bella that she had never felt before.

Since the moment her daughter had been sparked into existence—essence beginning its journey on the way to personhood—Bella’s heart remained unaffected. It was a strange relationship. This being she couldn’t see and couldn’t hold had obliterated the life she’d known and worked for. Bella. She was changed—thrown off course from the life she’d worked hard for all of her adult life. She was far away from her best friends, though her father had stepped into a more prominent role in her life. And for the first time, there was a huge part of her life she couldn’t imagine, and couldn’t really plan for.

Then, there was Edward. She’d had no intentions for this man beyond a brief few hours of pure electricity and physical connection. She could have walked away from that wedding and never seen him again. Instead, she’d had the pleasure to come to know him, to watch him stumble, fall, and recover with more grace than she could have in the same situation. This pregnancy, the mere possibility of this child, had rendered him homeless—hopeless, many would say. He’d lost his parents, lost the path of redemption that had been laid out for him and had been left to try to navigate the world alone. 

He could have whined and cried about it. He could have resented Bella for not being careful or resented the alien unit for existing at all. He didn’t do any of those things. At each turn, he took a deep breath, gathered up the cards he had, and did the best he could. 

In the final trimester of her pregnancy, Edward had been Bella’s rock. They’d formed a strange intimacy—partners without being lovers. He’d gone with her to all the parenting classes, and she’d been charmed by how seriously he took everything, writing notes and asking questions. His hands had been sure and steadying as he guided her through the breathing exercises and let her lean on him as she tried different laboring positions. 

It was just the two of them as her labor began and progressed. Her father had been unexpectedly out of town for the weekend. Alice’s plane was delayed. And Bella found she was relieved. The world reduced to a bubble, and it seemed right to have him there with her. She’d leaned on him, her head against his shoulder as they slow danced around the birthing suite—one of the distraction techniques they’d been taught—and he whispered in her ear, retelling the story of how they’d met. How she looked so beautiful in her dress, and how he’d wished he could dance with her instead of being on stage with his guitar.

And now, after all the pain, after the flurry of doctors and nurses, after the pushing and relief she felt when her daughter was pulled from her body and placed on her belly, the world was quiet and calm.

The hospital had a policy wherein, directly after birth, the little family had time to themselves for an hour or so. No visitors allowed. Nurses lingered in the periphery, just in case, but the baby wouldn’t be weighed or put through any of their various tests for that first hour. They’d helped Bella guide her new daughter to her breast and then retreated as the brand new human being had her first meal, skin-to-skin in her mother’s arms, with her father looking on, holding them both.

Edward had his arm draped around Bella’s shoulders, leaning in so his cheek was near hers. They were both staring, watching their newborn’s every tiny move.

“I feel it now,” Bella said, her voice breathless with awe. “I…” How could she explain what she felt? How enormous this emotion was?

“She’s everything,” Edward said, sounding just as breathless.

Bella nodded. They’d always been on the same page with how they felt about this, about her.

Their daughter. They were parents—forever bound by this connection, by this impossible being they’d created together. Something inside Bella had shifted, had changed and evolved. He was part of that, of this.

“You should hold her,” Bella whispered, sniffling hard. She’d been crying since the birth. Not sobbing. Just crying.

The nurses recognized their cue. They came over, encouraging both Edward and Bella as they made the switch—Edward with his shirt off as skin-to-skin contact was encouraged. Their minutes old baby made tiny noises but settled easily as Edward bent his head to murmur softly to her. 

“She recognizes you,” one of the nurses said. “Your voice. She knows you’re her daddy.”

Edward looked up at the nurse with eyes so wide, glassy with tears, and a smile the likes of which Bella had never seen. She’d thought her heart couldn’t get any bigger than it was at that moment, but as she looked at Edward cradling his daughter for the first time, she felt more.

Looking back at the baby, he started to sway them back and forth, whispering sweetly to her. Then, he began to sing.

It took a few heartbeats for Bella to recognize the song and remember why it stirred something in her. He sang in that voice that had first caught her attention, really wrapped her around his finger. “Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea. To the open arms of the sea.”

Unchained Melody. The song that started it all. Started this. 

“Melody,” she said out loud, stroking a finger down her daughter’s head.

“Hmm?” Edward asked.

“I think we should name her Melody.” They had decided to hold off naming her until they officially met. “It’s sweet.” And she secretly hoped the baby would inherit her father’s flare for music.

“It is sweet. And pretty.” He kissed the top of the baby’s head. “And soft.” He looked up again at Bella and grinned. “Melody. Mel,” he agreed. “Melody Charlie.” 

This was their beginning. They were a family. Non-traditional, but no less committed to what was important. They both loved their child from the moment they set eyes on her. They were committed to wanting what was best for her and for each other.

All thing considered, Bella couldn’t have asked for a better outcome for their beautiful disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This story is not over. But, had I had the foresight, I would have made it clear it was a story told in two parts. Back soon with the beginning of part 2.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Pheeeewww. Here we go!

Mcenter> ** _~Three Years Later~_**

Home late yet again, Bella was, as always, grateful to see Edward’s car in her driveway. Not that there’d ever been a doubt. He was there every spare second he had, and almost always jumped at the chance to spend extra time with Melody. 

There was no official agreement between the two of them. In many ways, when it came to parenting their daughter, Edward and Bella functioned just like any married couple. They just didn’t live in the same house. They talked on a daily basis, touched base with each other about all things Melody, their schedules, and their other needs. These days, Edward was her best friend and a great partner. 

He’d come a long way these last three years. She supposed they both had, but watching him evolve into the sweet, confident man he was today had been a genuine pleasure. He was still so young, and she often wondered who he’d be if they hadn’t met. Still somewhat carefree?

Then again, look where carefree had gotten him the first time. He seemed happy. He didn’t resent her or their baby—something she’d feared would happen. He’d worked hard to support himself and was well on his way to achieving an actual career. It was one he’d fallen into unexpectedly, but it seemed to suit him. 

Life was pretty good. There were ups and downs, of course, but overall, Bella had few complaints.

As soon as she entered the house, Bella heard the lovely sound of a guitar and, even better, the voice that accompanied it. “Hide behind a rainbow's wall. Slipping and a-sliding. All along the waterfall. With you, my brown-eyed girl. You, my brown-eyed girl.”

It was no surprise at all when his deep, rich voice was joined by a much higher, sweeter, slightly off-key voice for the chorus of, “Sha la la la la la la la la la la dee dah.” Bella got to the top of the stairs and peered in. Sure enough, Edward was standing, facing their brown-eyed, little girl as she sat on the bed, legs bouncing as they sang together. They wore matching smiles of total adoration. 

Bella rested her head on the door jamb, content to watch. They were beautiful; both of them bonkers for each other. Melody was her daddy’s girl, and that was fine with Bella. She loved her precocious, musical toddler. She couldn’t help but chuckle as Melody climbed to her feet on top of her bed, shimmying a little and performing the last part of the song with gusto.

As the song drew to an end, Bella clapped. “Bravo.”

Melody gasped, her head snapping to the doorway in surprise. Her eyes lit up, and she bounced on her butt on the bed before sliding onto the floor. She dashed at Bella, arms raised. “Mommy!”

Bella leaned down, scooping her up and kissing her cheek. “Melly, Melly, Melly.” She transferred the toddler to one hip and put her free hand to the other, looking sternly between her daughter and Edward. “I suppose this is what you call putting the baby to bed?”

“It’s a bedtime song, Mommy. Duh.”

“Duh,” Bella mimicked, and kissed her daughter’s forehead gently. “It sounds more like a bedtime concert. You want to be a rockstar, baby girl?”

“No. I tol’ you. I wanna be like Daddy and feed the bears.”

Edward reached out and ruffled Melody’s hair. “Fear the bears. Daddy fears the bears. Particularly, I fear the bears will feed on me.”

“And yet, he has no problem with mountain lions.” Bella rolled her eyes.

“That was one time, and it was a great picture,” Edward said, grinning impishly. “It wasn’t like I came across her on purpose. She strolled into the ranger station, and I just happened to be there.”

“Mommy, lions are big kitties. You have to pet them.”

“No,” Edward and Bella said together. Edward shook his head. “We definitely don’t pet lions, little love.” Melody was the kind of child that would run right toward a mountain lion should she ever come across one. And, in the Pacific Northwest, it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility, especially given that Edward worked at Olympic National Park. 

“But, why—” Melody started.

“Shh.” Putting his guitar down, Edward reached for her, and their little girl pitched forward into his arms. Bella gave her up easily. She smiled, watching him switch her around so she was cradled in his arms as if she were a tiny baby again. He sat on the bed and rocked her, beginning to croon softly. “Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes. And save these questions for another day.”

Bella’s heart warmed again. She’d been the one to introduce him to Billy Joel—a singer her father had introduced her to. Charlie used to sing it to her when she begged. 

“Again,” Melody mumbled when Edward finished. Her eyelids were already drooping. Bella pulled back the blankets and laid down on her side as Edward lay Melody in her bed. She helped him tuck her in as he began the song over, and rubbed her daughter’s back in slow circles. 

Like Melody, Bella found herself lost in the beautiful, soft sound of his voice. She closed her eyes and, before she knew it, she was drifting.

She woke disoriented, and…. Airborne? Bella started and reflexively lifted her arms, tightening them around Edward's neck. 

“I have you,” he said, his voice a gentle rumble near her ear. 

“You're going to hurt yourself.” Despite her words, she relaxed in his arms, eyes closing again.

He snorted. “Somehow, I'll manage.”

Her room was right next to Melody’s, so it wasn't a long trip. He laid her down on her bed, a smile playing at his lips. As her eyes locked with his, her heartbeat stuttered.

“I'm not really tired,” Bella blurted, wondering why she was suddenly self-conscious. It didn’t help when she couldn’t suppress the yawn that came directly on the heels of her statement.

He smirked, but then his smile gentled. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Four long nights in a row.”

“I could do a solid two weeks on a couple of hours a night back in the day.” She crossed her arms over her chest and stared up at the ceiling. 

Edward sat down on the edge of her bed. “You hate your job. That’s why it’s more exhausting.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, and he raised his hands. “Just my perception. During the summer, when my job is at the busiest, I was working all the time at all hours. But I had so much energy.”

She quirked her eyebrow. “Because you're like seven.”

He rolled his eyes but grinned at her. “I had energy because I love what I do. I’m happy.” His eyes lost some of their light, and he looked down, picking absently at the comforter. He shook his head. “I’m just saying. I understand what you lost. I’m one or two steps above the bottom rung of where I want to be, but the ladder is pretty clear to me. I know I can get there.” He grimaced. “It’s like you were knocked off your ladder.”

“Not off.” Bella sighed and took his hand, giving it a squeeze. “It’s not like it’s impossible to get where I want to be.” She shook her head. “It was never a guarantee. Life happens, and it’s not like I’m unsuccessful. Production isn’t the side of the business I wanted to be on, but it’s lucrative enough. I make a good living. I provide for my baby and myself. I don’t worry about whether or not I can pay my bills. It’s more than a lot of people have.”

“But not personally fulfilling.”

“Not so much,” she admitted. Then, she smiled wickedly. “But, I’m not as decrepit as I look. I can find a new ladder to climb. I have a lot of life left to live.”

His eyes sparked and his grin took on that devilish quality, tinged with something dark and exciting. He leaned down, and his voice was low when he spoke. “You look decrepit?” His eyes brushed up and down her body with all the effect of a physical caress, and Bella found her breath stuck in her throat. His eyes met hers again. “Aren’t you journalist types supposed to be good with words? I’m pretty sure decrepit doesn’t mean what you think it means.”

She swallowed thickly, and when she spoke, her voice was scratchier than she wanted. “Are you trying to say you have a better vocabulary than I do?”

“I’m merely suggesting a momentary lapse in your word choice. It’s possible you meant the antithesis of decrepit or one of its antonyms.”

“Antithesis,” she repeated, amused.

He flashed a boyish grin. “Don’t pretend you’re not impressed by my firm grasp of vocabulary. It’s okay to show it.”

“Uh huh. You see me swooning?”

“If only I did,” he said with a dramatic sigh, and then winked at her. “I did get you into bed.”

“I wouldn’t be too proud of getting a semi-conscious woman into bed, creeper.”

“I’d say that depends on what I intended to do with the semi-conscious woman once I got her into bed.”

Her body interpreted the words as deliciously filthy. She was awake now. Aware. Too aware of his nearness and that look on his face. He was attracted to her, and she wasn’t going to pretend the thought didn’t please her. She was only human, and she still remembered the things he could do with his talented hands. 

And maybe that would explain why she said what she said next. “So what would you do to a semi-conscious woman in bed?”

He cocked his head, his eyes searching hers. He turned so he was on his knees on the bed, towering over her. “I would…” He put his hand on her knee. “Take off your shoes. So you would be comfortable.”

They were caught in a stare, an odd, heated energy roiling between them. Bella felt her cheeks flush. A jolt went through her arms, and it took effort not to rise up, inviting him to meet her lips. He would. She knew he would. That they were attracted to each other had led them here, to Washington with their beautiful daughter.

Melody.

Hell.

Bella rolled to her side, away from Edward, and sat up. She ran a hand through her hair, looking around for a hair-tie. Her face was far too hot. “I need my shoes. It’s too early to sleep. I have… you know. Things to do.”

“Right.”

When she chanced a glance at him, he had a strange look on his face. Bella paced a few steps away, trying to remember what the heck she had to do. The house was clean—she employed a maid service a few times a month. The bills were paid. The story she’d been working on was done. She furrowed her brow. There was no way she was caught up. She had to be missing something.

“Have you eaten?” Edward asked. 

Bella put a hand to her stomach realizing suddenly she was incredibly hungry. “Ah. There it is. Food. I forgot food.”

“Yeah. You’re good at that.” He stepped ahead of her and gestured with his head. “Come on. There’s some dinner left over from what I fed the little. It’s been a long week. I’ll make you a plate, and we’ll catch up.”

“You don’t have to—”

“I know.” He gestured again. “Come on.”

Bella let out a long breath, relaxing. This was familiar territory—talking about their week.

Some minutes later, Bella raised her head, inhaling the scent of homemade chicken noodle soup and a roast beef sandwich. She didn’t bother to stifle her moan. “Damn. You’re way too good at this.”

“Feeding myself and my girls?” He shrugged, settling kitty-cornered to her at the table. “Seemed like a good pastime. Plus, it comes in useful when I’m camping. My meals look and taste better than anyone else's.”

Bella pursed her lips, tilting a spoonful of soup into her mouth. “Yeah. I bet the bears think so too.”

He cocked his head, fixing her with a look. “Are you going to start again?”

“No.” Bella closed her eyes, savoring the sandwich for a handful of seconds. “Do you still want to take Mel out there?”

“Not on a trip like this one, no. But you knew that. I love being out there on the trails. I want to share that with my daughter. You don't think I know what's safe for a three year old?”

For a long minute, she didn’t speak as she sipped her delicious soup. She hadn’t meant to start a fight, and of course she knew Edward would never be purposefully reckless with Melody. She wiped her mouth and gave him a rueful look. “I had the same upbringing as you did with my dad. He’s always loved the National Parks.” It was how Edward had found his calling. Charlie had taken him on several camping trips—fishing and hiking deep in Olympic National Park—and Edward had fallen in love with the idea of being a park ranger. That was the path he was on, low on the rungs now, as he’d mentioned.

“From the time I was Mel’s age, he taught me a healthy respect for nature. The wild is wild. It’s unpredictable and anyone in it is unprotected.” She eyed him. “There’s no such thing as completely safe.”

He grimaced, and she went on before he could speak. This had been brewing inside her for a long time now. “And don’t get me wrong. I love that you’ve found something you’re passionate about. It’s just that it scares me. My dad likes a nice, long hike to a secluded lake where he can fish in peace. You? You’re more of a thrill seeker. I’ve known guys like you. I’ve done stories on guys like you. You end up chasing bigger, tougher hikes. Climbing higher mountains. Getting closer to waterfalls. Every time you go out, you take a risk. Because you can’t control the animals or when this rock face is going to crumple or when the weather is going to turn heinous. People have wandered off the trail—even the short, simple ones—and are never seen again. It happens.”

“It does, but more often than not, it doesn’t. You could also get struck by lightning just walking down the street. Or hit by a car.”

“I know.” She rolled her shoulders. “I’m sorry. I know this is coming out suddenly. I’m proud of you for how far you’ve come and the things you want to do with your life. And I know there are much more dangerous jobs than being a park ranger, but I can’t help hearing all the statistics. Right now, most of your back country exploring is recreational. When you do make ranger, it’s going to be part of your job, too. You’re just increasing the chance something unexpected is going to happen every day.”

Bella huffed and wiped a hand over her eyes. “I know that sounds paranoid and ridiculous.” She reached across the table and took his hand, giving it a squeeze. “I don’t know. I just think about it a lot.”

He smiled. “Charlie also told me you have probably every single book on deaths in the national parks, extreme rescues, and stories of people who have disappeared without a trace. And that’s not to mention the books written by rangers about close calls with bears and cliffs.”

She ducked her head. “Information is a good thing to have.” She looked up at him from under her eyelashes. “I can’t help but feel protective of you.”

“I’m going to be fine. And when I can take Mel, she’s going to be fine.” He quirked an eyebrow. “And if you’d just agree to go with me, you’d see. Some things are worth a little risk.” He held up his hands. “Just a little risk. I promise I’m not going to turn into one of those rock climbers who scales the face of El Capitan in Yosemite with nothing but their hands.”

She shuddered. “Gah! Two guys, experienced guys, died doing that last year.”

“And I just promised I wouldn’t do it.”

She grimaced. “I saw it once, you know. When I was little. In Yosemite, actually. It’s so quiet out there, but all of a sudden there was a helicopter.” She swallowed hard. “When it came back down, there was a body in a bag hanging from it.”

Edward took both her hands in his. He didn’t say anything, but just looked at her steadily. She huffed out a breath. 

It was amazing how important he was to her. Once upon a time, she’d told him she would be fine raising their daughter alone. She had no doubts she would have been, but now?

“Okay,” Bella said, taking her hands from his. She picked up her sandwich. She took a bite and chewed slowly. “So,” she began with an air of nonchalance. “Is Lauren going with you on this trip?”

She wanted to bite her tongue off the minute she said it. What was wrong with her tonight?

A glance at Edward showed that his face had gone carefully blank. She looked quickly away.

“Yes,” he said slowly. “And Tyler. And Mike. Tanya. Irina.”

Bella hummed. “So are things back on with you?”

Edward made a disgruntled noise. “They were never on with her. We fooled around that one time at a party.”

“Why not? I didn’t see the appeal when I met her one time, but…” She shrugged.

“Neither did I. That’s why it was never a thing. We were hanging out after a long week, feeling good. That’s all it was. You know that.”

“Don’t get defensive. You don’t need to defend yourself to me.”

He pressed his mouth into a thin line but didn’t say anything.

“Look, it’s fine. You know it’s fine,” Bella said, trying to make her tone lighter than she felt. She had to dig herself out of what she’d started. “Not Lauren. I’m just saying, it’s a nice thing to share with a like-minded someone. It would be a good thing.”

That definitely made everything worse. The air around them changed to something tumultuous, and Bella cursed herself inwardly, knowing damn well she’d started it. Her mind had been racing a mile a minute all evening. Something about the image he’d presented when she walked in—seeing him there amidst all Melody’s miniature things, guitar in hand, singing and gazing adoringly at their daughter. And then that moment in her bed. And he’d made her dinner. 

She was tired, and her wires were getting crossed. That was all.

“I’m going on the trip with five like-minded people,” Edward said, his tone careful. He waited a beat. “But, like I said, I’d like to share the experience with you.”

“Hiking Olympic in the winter is an act of pure insanity,” she said, teasing him now. “Anyway, hanging out with friends is great, but that wasn’t what I was talking about. There should be more Laurens for you. I don’t think you hear it enough, but these are your young, carefree years. 

“I did the young and carefree thing, remember?”

“You can be young and carefree without breaking the law. I’m just saying, if there’s some reason you’re holding back—”

“Bella.” He rubbed his hands over his face, putting his elbows on the table. “Why are we talking about this?” He pinned her with his gaze. “Would it make you more comfortable if I was seeing someone?”

“This isn’t about me.”

“It isn’t? I’m not the one who brought it up. I never am. Every time, it’s you who asks me. Out of nowhere.”

“I don’t…” Bella rubbed the back of her neck. “Look, I told you. I feel protective of you and not just about your safety. I’m just aware that you got the fast forward button held down on your life. I don’t want you to miss anything.”

He laughed. “Like what? Meaningless relationships?” He looked away for a moment and then looked back. When he spoke again, his voice was soft, but his eyes were intense. “I don’t want them. I want you. Is that what you want to hear?”

Bella bit the inside of her cheek hard. She wasn’t an idiot. She saw the way Edward looked at her sometimes, and she knew it was confusing. They were partners, and they were good together in a lot of ways. It would be as easy as breathing to slip into _something_ with him. They’d been dancing around this conversation for years. He didn’t push, but when they had little moments like earlier, it was almost always her who pulled away.

When she didn’t answer, he sighed. “I get that we have this age difference. You make me feel like I’m a little kid sometimes.”

“I don’t think you’re a little kid.”

“Ha.” He rolled his shoulders. “You do and you don’t. You refer to our ages all the time, like you think about it all the time.”

She grimaced. She did think about it. A lot.

“And the way you talk… Sometimes I think I’m an immature brat for wanting the things I want. Naive, even, because to me, it’s simple. We like each other. We’re attracted to each other. I don’t get why we need more than that to try for something more. You make it so much more complicated. And it is. You’re right. We both had a lot of other things to figure out and deal with for a while there. It made sense that it was more complicated than I wanted to think it was, but I also think so what? Life isn’t going to stop being complicated, right?”

“Edward.” She rubbed her temple. “You haven’t even had a chance to play the field. By the time I was your age—”

“My twenties and your twenties don't have to look the same. My twenties _aren't_ the same as yours were. They never can be. I have a kid, for fuck’s sake. I go out with women, and it’s a good time. Don’t get me wrong. They’re a lot of fun. But you try getting a woman my age to understand that I don’t want to party all night. I don’t want to do some of the stupid things they want to do. They take risks I can’t believe. I have Melody to get home to. Try explaining that to those women. That I’d rather be here, in your house, with you and Mel. And that I admire you. I adore you. I say too many good things about you. They get suspicious.”

“But don’t you get how that sounds? This is exactly what I don't want for you. Maybe I make things too complicated, but this kind of stuff matters. The reason you get into something matters in the long run. You want me, you want more, because you think it’s the only option you have. That’s not fair. Not to either of us.”

His face pinched but then he laughed again. “See? That makes sense, and I feel like a teenager who just can’t think things through.”

“I don’t want you to feel like that. I just want—”

“What’s best for me. I know. Because I’m too young to figure that out for myself.” He didn’t sound bitter, and when he looked at her, his expression was calm. “I’m not going to say I don’t enjoy a blow job or a fuck when someone offers it. I’m not against casual experiences. But I’ve never gone out looking for it on purpose. That’s not how I’m built. Even with Victoria...the whole reason she was able to make me do the things I did was because I was serious about her. I _like_ serious. 

“I don’t think I’m going to ‘grow up’ to resent not messing around more. I could be wrong, but I also don’t think it’s a guarantee that I’m wrong. Nothing is a guarantee.” He surged forward, grabbing her hands and leaning across the table. “Bella, I don’t think the way I feel about you has anything to do with you being the only woman in my world who understands where I’m at. I _know_ you now. You told me once you didn’t jump into a relationship with a man you’ve just met, but that’s not us. Not anymore.

“You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met. All this time, I’ve figured if you wanted me, you would say so, because you have no problem going after what you want. But you didn’t, so I haven’t said anything.” He squeezed her hands tightly. “But if you do want me, then fuck everything else.” There was that sexy grin that sent shivers down her spine. “Worst case scenario? I think we've been through a lot worse than each other.”

Her lips twitched, but her heart was pounding a mile a minute. Why. The hell. Had she started this conversation? What had gotten into her? Speaking of feeling like a little schoolgirl. She wanted to scream yes, yes, yes.

She did want him. It was confusing and felt wrong somehow, but what the heart wanted…

“It’s…it’s...bad timing.” She put her hands on her knees, rubbing. “This thing we got going works. Melody is so happy. We’re good together the way we are.

“You think I’m strong, and that I get what I want, but I’m all over the place right now. A relationship has always been secondary to me. Not the most important thing to want. Right now, I don’t know what I want first. I don’t know how to deal with my lack of ambition. I’ve never hated my job, and you were right. That’s exhausting.” She looked at him, knowing her eyes were pleading. “I need this good, happy part of my life to be steady. If we change our dynamic, it could all fall apart. Right now, I need what we have.”

He stared at her for a long time, looking like he wanted to argue. In the end, though, he nodded slowly. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, I get it.” He winked at her. “See how much I’ve grown up? Respecting you and all that.”

She laughed and reached over to ruffle his hair. “You’re a prince.” Her smile gentled. She felt such tenderness for this man. “You’re a good man, Edward.”

“I know.” He stood up. “Now, I know it’s still early, but you really do look tired. Will you let me put you to bed?”

Playing along, she stood up too. “On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“I want a lullaby.”

He cackled. “Sure. Let’s see.” His eyes twinkled as he took her hand. “I know. An oldy but goody from my childhood.”

She quirked an eyebrow.

“Oh, her eyes, her eyes make the stars look like they're not shinin'. Her hair, her hair falls perfectly without her trying. She's so beautiful and I tell her everyday.”

Bella groaned. “From your childhood,” she muttered. It was a Bruno Mars song—one that came out in 2010 as she recalled. 

“When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change 'cause you're amazing, just the way you are,” he crooned, and Bella smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Weeeellllll. How we doing out there?
> 
> Don’t be too hard on Bella, my dears. I know what most of us would do if Edward was waltzing around our house, singing to our kiddos (and ourselves) and making THOSE EYES. But, ya know, where’s the fun in that story? Hehe


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Phew. Thanks for hanging in there with me.
> 
> To answer a FAQ, yes, we will eventually know what happened to Carlisle and Esme. Probably next chapter.

“There she is. There she is.” 

Bella smiled, trying her best to navigate the mouse around her bouncing toddler. Melody put her small, perpetually-sticky hand over hers. “Let me do it, Mommy. I wanna do it.”

Giving up the pretense she was going to win the fight against a grubby keyboard, Bella let her daughter click the button connecting the Skype call with her cherished Aunt Alice. “Ali!” Melody gasped. “And Jaspy! Hi, Jaspy.”

Alice and Jasper exchanged a look, and Alice ruffled her husband’s hair. “Aw, Jaspy. I told you she’d be happy to see you.”

“Hey, babycakes,” Jasper said, his smile gentle. “Sorry I’ve missed you the last few times.”

“Das okay because you sent me this cool thing.” Melody held up the scene creator set Alice and Jasper had sent her. It was 77 pieces, most of them destined to end up everywhere but where they should be, that allowed her to use stickers and an erasable, scrolling drawing board to produce moving scenes. 

“Is that the only reason you forgive him for having a life outside of you?” Bella asked, shaking her head.

Melody looked over her shoulder with a perplexed expression before turning her attention back to Alice and Jasper. For a few minutes, she babbled excitedly about the stories she’d been creating with her new toy. They listened attentively, asking questions and remarking how smart and funny she was. 

By the time Bella’s lap was worn out, Melody was glowing with happiness. She kissed the side of her daughter’s head. “Go practice, munchkin. Daddy should be here any minute, and today is guitar day.”

After Melody ran off to find her precious, miniature guitar, Bella turned back to the computer at the sound of Alice’s cackling. “What?” 

Alice’s eyes danced. “Nothing. In my child-free world, you calling a guy Daddy just has a very different meaning.”

“God.” Bella put her hands over her eyes. “Don’t start that again.”

“Again?” Alice said sharply, and Bella winced. “When did I start it before?”

“Nothing. Nevermind.”

“Oh, no. Nevermind this nevermind business. If I didn’t start it before, someone else did.”

“I think our Bella has something on her mind,” Jasper said, his voice teasing.

Bella peeked through her fingers, glaring at her friend. “You always were too observant.”

Beside him, Alice squeaked. “Did something happen between you and Edward?”

“Yeah. We had a one night stand and created a whole human being.”

“Bella.” Alice shook her head. “I’m talking about recently, not ancient history.”

“So ancient,” Bella muttered, hearing the beginnings of Melody plucking at her guitar.

“You’re not afraid it’s going to happen again, are you?” Jasper asked, still teasing. “I mean. Just use two forms of protection, honey.”

“Ha.”

“But that’s not what you’re talking about, right?” Alice said, a touch more serious now. “I mean, correct me if I’m wrong. I remember you saying attraction was a foregone conclusion. You could have had Edward anytime you wanted in the last three years.”

“Sex isn’t hard to have,” Jasper mused. “You want more?”

Bella rolled her eyes. “No. You know what? It’s nothing. It’s my version of a midlife crisis.”

“What exactly does your midlife crisis consist of?” Alice sounded more amused than concerned.

“Oh, man.” Was it really a good idea to admit to this out loud? “Total age regression. I feel like I’m seventeen again, and I’m annoying myself.”

 _“Seventeen Again_ is Jasper’s favorite Zefron movie.”

Jasper turned to look at his wife, aghast. “Babe…”

Alice snickered, and Bella smiled. “Don’t worry. Everyone had a Zefron phase,” Bella soothed. 

“Okay. Seventeen again. How so?” Alice asked.

“None of the good ways, of course. I can’t eat McDonald’s for a week straight and gain absolutely nothing. Just… I think about him all the time. And when he smiles at me, I get all hot cheeks and thumpa thumpa heart.” She wrinkled her nose. “And I get irrational fits of rage when he sleeps with little blond twits who aren’t nearly good enough for him.”

“Aw, a crush.”

Bella told them about her conversation with Edward a few nights before. When she was done, she found herself smiling again—a tender smile as an only too familiar warmth washed over her. “He really has grown up sweet, hasn’t he?”

“I don’t know. This bastard only sings to me when he wants to get laid.” Alice elbowed her husband playfully.

He caught her hand and grinned, pressing her palm to his chest. “What? You think I don’t sing to you because you fill my heart with song every day?”

Bella could see Alice’s flush clearly even over the camera. “You guys are disgusting.”

“Jealous?” Alice waggled her eyebrows. 

Bella sighed. “Not really. Maybe that’s why this all feels more complicated than it should be.”

“You were never interested in a relationship after James.” 

“I wasn’t really all that interested before James. With him and before him, I kind of just fell into relationships. If I kept hanging out with a guy, I guess I thought it was what I was supposed to do. Just be with them. Try to figure out if he’s supposed to be my forever.” She shrugged. “But it was never important to me.” She smiled ruefully, hearing the sound of Melody plucking away, mostly off-key. “Relationships and kids. They were always an ‘eh, might be nice’ kind of vague idea.”

“But you got the kid,” Jasper said.

“And I love her. You know I don’t regret or resent what having her cost me. She’s an incredible adventure I couldn’t have predicted.”

“Just maybe that feels like if you have the great kid and you take the good relationship, you might lose out on the thing you actually wanted and worked for?”

“That makes it sound like I’m scared.” She rolled her shoulders, bristling at that. “Maybe I am scared. But not just out of some superstitious nonsense that I can’t have it all. There are other things to consider too. Mel is happy. Edward and I work so well together as a family unit the way we are now. And we can keep dancing around the fact he’s so much younger, but a seventeen year age gap is going to cause some complications. It just is. He’s grown up well in these last three years. He’s a good man with ambitions and passions, but we’re still on a different page.” 

“Are you though?” Alice asked. “Not for nothing, Bella, but you’re considering a career change. If you do change careers, you’ll both be in a similar place, just coming up with a toddler at home. Sure, you’re better off. You have money in the bank, and seventeen years worth of living an adult life under your belt, but those are pretty similar pages.”

“Humph. I’ve regressed back to my early twenties. Perfect.”

“Regressed isn’t the word. A lot of people get knocked back from the path they wanted to be on. Most people, I think. It just happened near the top for you. That fall sucks major ass.”

“And I don’t think you fell to the ground,” Jasper said. “You’re still a successful woman, kicking ass and taking names at what she does. You don’t like your job. You don’t like your boss or most of your coworkers, but you’re good at what you do.”

“You’ll figure that out. Edward was right. You have time. And speaking of Edward…” Alice grinned. “I think the bottom line there is that there’s no clear answer. The age gap is awkward, but at the end of the day, if you work well together, if you’d be happy, why not?” She reached over, caressing Jasper’s cheek with the backs of her knuckles. “I was a happy singleton once upon a time. I would have had a good, full, and happy life as a single woman. But I also have a beautiful life, because we’re good together.”

Jasper’s answering smile was soft and adoring. He wound his fingers through hers and kissed her fingertips. Then, he looked back to Bella. “Edward had a point, B. You wouldn’t be stumbling into something with a stranger. Honestly, you and Edward have been functioning as a real couple on a lot of levels, not only with Melody, but with each other. You encouraged him. And he’s supportive of you doing whatever you need to do to be happy in your career.” He shrugged. “Hell, honey, I don’t know. Maybe the only thing that would change is you get to have sex on the regular.”

Alice snickered. “With a guy who can probably still go all night, every night. He could wear you out. Ride you hard and put you away wet and then drag you out for round twelve. Just hold on tight to the bedpost.” 

“Alice!” Bella covered her face with her hands, hiding the flush.

“Hey, I can go all night,” Jasper said, but Bella was distracted from the lighthearted bickering her friends fell into then.

Elsewhere in the house, she heard the sound of the front door opening. Melody’s tuneless plucking cut off, and there was the sound of her feet racing across the wood floor as she shouted, “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!”

Behind her hands, Bella smiled a too-wide smile, and her heart skipped a beat. “Goddamn crush,” she muttered.

**_~0~_ **

It wasn’t that Bella hated her coworkers. Most of them were fine. She’d just gotten off on the wrong foot with the ones who’d been there when she started at the station. She hadn’t been in a good place—too defensive. The town as a whole was more conservative than where she’d come from. An unwed mother-to-be was never going to impress them, especially when there were rumors about how she’d ended up in their little city.

Either way, likable or not, Bella had learned early in her career not to alienate anyone. You never knew who would be useful to have as a friend in the future. 

Bella genuinely liked Maggie and Siobhan. Despite the fact Maggie was in her late twenties and Siobhan in her mid-forties, they were a well matched pair. Maggie reminded Bella a lot of herself at that age—eager to prove herself. She played the conservative game well, but had been observant enough to peg Bella as an ally. It was a good move on her part. Bella could be persuaded to produce segments many of the others wouldn’t. 

Siobhan was in charge of almost everyone minor behind the scenes. Makeup, grips, interns whose sole job was to fetch coffee—she ran the show. She had enough power that she never hesitated to tell almost anyone in the studio when they were being hypocrites or uptight snobs. She could get away with it, and Bella thought she was hysterical. 

So when the two women tried to convince Bella it was high time for a night on the town, they didn’t have to do much arm-twisting to convince her. Her usual babysitter was free, so it was a done deal.

After a few drinks at one bar, Maggie managed to convince the other two that karaoke was the way to go. Which was where Bella was, tucked into a corner so she’d have an excuse not to go up, when the inevitable happened.

She was only half paying attention when Maggie whistled long and low. “Oh, my. I’m going to tell you right now, I don’t care how this one sings. I don’t even care what he sings. He wins.”

“It’s not a competition, Mags,” Siobhan snickered.

“I don’t care! He wins.”

Siobhan looked over at the stage and licked her lips lasciviously. “Oh, hell.” She slapped her hand down on the table. “I’ll take that ticket to Cougarville.”

As the other two snickered, Bella took a glance at who they’d been looking at. She started and had to cover a groan.

Edward was there. He was standing by the karaoke gal, flipping through the song book. Bella’s stomach churned with distaste when she saw Lauren standing next to him, grinning and whispering in his ear. He snickered at something she said and shook his head at her. 

Looking around the bar, Bella spotted a table full of semi-familiar faces. Edward’s friends from work. So it was a work outing just like hers. She couldn’t deny the semblance of relief that went through her, ridiculous though it was. He’d already said he wasn’t interested in Lauren. Bella tried to convince herself she was only irritated on Edward’s behalf as a friend. 

“Don’t worry, Mags. I’m not going to tempt him with all this.” Siobhan gestured down at her ample form. “It’s too unfair, and you did see him first. You get him, girl. That little blond doesn’t stand a chance once he sees you.”

Bella brought her glass to her lips and drank the rest of her drink in one, two, three huge gulps. She set the glass on the table with maybe too much force as it made the other two drink. “We need shots,” she announced and stood, heading toward the bar before they could say a word.

She couldn't tell if it was a blessing or a curse that Edward and her coworkers had never met. The station intimidated Edward—he hated looking like a child in front of anyone. Then again, the only reason she knew what his coworkers and friends looked like was because she’d picked up Melody from his place just before he’d gone off on a camping trip. 

That had been when she’d met Lauren. She answered the door to his apartment as though she owned the place and looked Bella up and down with a hint of a sneer to the curl of her lips. _“So you’re Melody’s mother.”_

Bella shook off the thought as she sidled up to the bar. She refused to feel inferior to a twenty-something jackass. Of course, it didn’t hurt that she caught a different twenty-something jackass blatantly checking out her ass as she leaned on the bar. Nothing wrong with a little affirmation, afterall. She knew she still looked good. 

Then again, attraction had never been the issue. 

Some minutes later, she was on her way back to her table when she stopped short. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

Siobhan had Edward in her clutches. She’d somehow gotten him up on stage, and was singing Abba’s “Does Your Mother Know”, the Mama Mia version that featured an older woman rejecting a much younger man. She held Edward’s hand with her free hand, dancing with him as she sang, “You're so hot, teasing me. So you're blue, but I can't take a chance on a kid like you.That's something I couldn't do. There's that look in your eyes. I can read in your face that your feelings are driving you wild. Ah, but boy you're only a child.”

Edward’s cheeks were beet red, but he was smiling, clearly bemused. He swung his hips dancing with her, and Bella tried to ignore the twisting in her stomach as she made her way to her table. Maggie put her fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly, clapping and laughing at Siobhan’s shenanigans. 

“She said she’s being my wingman,” Maggie said, leaning in to talk to Bella. “Making sure he knows she’s off limits so he’ll turn to me.” She cackled. “Think I should go for it?”

Bella opened her mouth, but nothing but a strangled noise came out. She rubbed the back of her neck.

Maggie was exactly the type of person she, as a friend, would love to see with Edward. She was fun and smart. Ambitious. 

She liked hiking.

But before she had to answer, Siobhan had led her little dance party over to their table. She bumped Edward by the hip, and he obligingly reached out to take Maggie by the hand. Bella pressed herself back against the wall, but not fast enough. She knew Edward saw her—could see the flash of realization and saw the way his cocksure grin faded—but he was swept back toward the stage before anyone could react. 

Bella pressed a palm to her hot cheek, shaking her head at herself. She needed to get a damn grip. She could see Edward glancing over his shoulder to see her. She made an effort to sit up straight and smile at him, clapping her hands along with the rest of the bar. 

Conflict roiled inside her gut, and she hated it. The dramatics. Even if she had a reason to be possessive—and she didn’t—he wasn’t doing anything. He was letting himself be twirled around, being a good sport. She hated the flash of anger she felt toward her friends—doubly ridiculous since they had no earthly way of knowing Bella had any connection to a random twenty-something in a bar.

At the end of Siobhan’s song, Bella watched Edward and Maggie’s exchange. She tossed her hair and flashed that smile that would put her behind an anchor desk one day. Edward tilted his head, grinning back. He leaned in a little too close but then swept an arm wide and stepped away.

He’d let Maggie go ahead of him in the karaoke queue, she realized when she could see straight again. Bella jumped when Siobhan threw herself down heavily in the seat next to her, clapping her on the shoulder. “We done good. One of us is going to get laid tonight. Two to go,” she said, laughing raucously.

Bella bristled. Luckily, it was noisy enough that whatever vague noise she made passed as an acceptable answer. She watched Edward return to his seat with his friends. As though she needed any more reason to stop being such an irrational asshole, she noted that Lauren’s expression mirrored what she felt. It was likely her face looked exactly the same. 

Maggie, of course, had a sexy, sultry voice that she used to belt out Shania Twain’s “Any Man of Mine”. Like any frequent karaoke artist, she had a routine worked out. There were well-placed butt-thrusts, cheeky grins thrown over her shoulder, and a voice just oozing with sass. 

Edward’s friends, minus Lauren, hooted and hollered, thumping him on the back.

Bella let out a gust as Maggie returned to her seat. But then it was Edward’s turn, and as the KJ announced his name, he walked with a swagger in his step. By then, his hair was in disarray—on the long side of short and only adding the sex appeal. There were a lot of eyes on him, and the smirk on his face said he knew it.

The mood in the place was hyper, and Bella expected Edward to play to his rowdy friends and bust out some smarmy version of a Taylor Swift song. Instead, a slower, familiar beat filled the air. The bar quieted as Edward began to croon,“Day after day, I'm more confused. Yet I look for the light through the pourin' rain. You know that's a game that I hate to lose. And I'm feelin' the strain, ain't it a shame.” The Doobie Brother’s “Drift Away”.

Bella had to hide her hot face. His strong, soulful voice. Those words. Killing me softly with his song indeed. “I need some air,” she muttered to her friends before she pushed up from the table.

“Are you okay, hon?” Maggie said, voice laced with concern. “You need me to come with you?”

“I’m okay. I just need a few minutes to, uh, make a phone call.”

With that lame excuse, she was headed for the door. She headed for the smoker’s porch despite not liking the smell of cigarettes. She moved to the very edge of the porch where she had a nicely sized bubble of space around her, and she could feel the cool ear on her too-hot body.

She was driving herself crazy, and she was close to breaking. The lovesick voice in her head whined. Why? Why the hell was she denying herself this? The rational voice in her head was getting smaller and smaller.

With a little alcohol in her, she heard the absurd truth whispered in a meek voice in her ear. 

The first time she’d given in to the temptation of Edward, she’d lost everything she valued. Such a destructive thing. She’d been well into adulthood, financially secure and responsible—accidental pregnancy notwithstanding. When she got pregnant, she’d been out of her teens for seventeen years. Aside from the obvious impact of having a child, it shouldn’t have had such a profound effect on her life.

She’d wondered more than once, if she’d known for sure what it would cost her, would she still choose to continue the pregnancy? She’d always wanted her job more than she wanted a child.

But it was a stupid, useless thought. It was a choice made for her. She’d kept the pregnancy. She’d seen Edward again, and the rest was a domino effect. As she’d told Alice and Jasper, she didn’t regret her sweet, precious daughter. 

Edward, though. Edward could still cost her. 

Where the hell had all this come from anyway? When had she fallen so hard? Seventeen again, as she’d said. Teenagers were always so sure of love. Her heart whispered his name with each beat. She had no idea what she was going to be when she grew up, but she knew she was going to want him forever.

She almost wasn’t surprised when she felt a presence behind her. She definitely didn't need to turn to see who it was. Her cheek twitched when he pressed so close, she could feel his warmth. He framed her—one of his arms on either side of hers. 

He was holding an unlit joint between two fingers.

She scoffed under her breath. It was a ballsy move. Weed was legal in Washington, but not in public. He was risking a citation, but she knew exactly what he was doing.

“Do you mind?” He murmured near her ear.

He still remembered.

So did she. “No, I don’t mind. It’s been ages since I’ve indulged.” Specifically since the night they’d created a child. 

His breath fell hot on the back of her neck. “Shotgun?”

Her heart beat hard against her chest.

Just a kiss, the lovesick voice in her head wheedled. It’s not going to happen again. Impossible. Bella had to be back home in half an hour to relieve the babysitter. 

Just a kiss.

Maybe it would break the spell. 

She turned in his arms, tilting her chin up. “Hit me.”

His eyes searched hers even as he lifted the joint to his mouth, holding it between his lips as he raised a lighter. Bella didn’t drop his gaze to glance around. She was caught in his stare, a whirlwind of memories mixing with the power he had to arouse and titillate her senses. When had he become this person again? Self-assured. Even a little cocky. Sexy. Just a hint of bad boy thrown in for excitement. Yet she knew his soft side too. She’d seen him destroyed. She’d seen him ache. She’d seen him suffer, and she’d seen him melt at the sight of his newborn daughter.

His lips closed around the joint as he took several puffs to start it. Then, he breathed in deep. He put his free hand to her waist as he ducked his head and pressed his open mouth to hers. He breathed into her, filling her with smoke and him. He lingered a few seconds longer than he needed to before he pulled back, putting out the joint as he did. 

Bella’s head spun. Alcohol. Marijuana. Him. She was intoxicated, and it wasn’t hard to figure out which substance made her the most dizzy. 

She pressed her palm to his chest and took a fistful of shirt in her hand, hauling him to her. He met her lips readily, his kiss as hungry as hers. She licked the sugar-sour taste of whatever he’d been drinking from his lips.

Spell so not broken.

Spell so, so much worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So! That happened.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh, boy. I have no fucking clue where I got the Doobie Brothers as being the people who first sang Drift Away. Dobie Gray. That’s who I meant. Yikes.

“Mommy. _Mommy._ ”

An urgent voice stirred Bella from an otherwise sound sleep. She grimaced. Dry cotton mouth. Unquenched thirst. Check. No headache though. That was nice. 

“Mommy.” Melody patted her arm. She climbed onto the bed, sitting on her knees. “Did you know Daddy’s here? On the couch? Making monster noises.”

Bella had to press her lips together to smother a giggle. “Yes, I know. I’m the one who put him to bed there.”

Melody’s eyes brightened. “Is it a special day? Like Christmas?” She’d been ecstatic when Edward had stayed overnight on Christmas. 

“No, love.” Bella caressed her daughter’s hair. “Daddy and I had a little too much fun last night. He overdid it a bit.”

With a gasp, Melody’s brows furrowed, her expression hurt. “You and Daddy had fun without me?”

She looked so crestfallen, Bella had to struggle not to laugh. “No, Mel. Not like that. Daddy went out with his friends, and I went out with my friends. We went to the same place. It was just a coincidence. Do you know what that means?”

Melody shook her head. 

“It means when two separate things happen at the same time when you didn’t mean them to.”

“Good things?”

Bella’s smile gentled, and she felt her cheeks flush hot. “Not always, but in this case, it was a really good thing.” She sat up. “Now, do you want to wake Daddy up first, or should we make him breakfast first?”

“Can we wake him up so he stops making bad noises? He sounds like this.” Melody made a noise that was part snort, part growl. Bella chortled as she stood, pulling Mel to her hip.

In the living room, Bella found Edward exactly where she’d left him the night before. They’d stumbled in together, drunk and high and connected at the lips, their hands roaming and urgent. Even now, Bella shivered remembering the words he’d rumbled in her ear—all the things he wanted to do to her. 

But, they were both drunk. He wasn’t up to the performance no matter what his silk tongue said. They’d made out on the couch, her fingers stroking through his hair, until his kisses slowed and he’d slumped, just as she suspected he would. She’d laid him back, taken off his shoes, and draped a blanket over him.

Now, a warm tenderness came over as she gazed down at him. His hair so disheveled, his features smooth in sleep. How could one man be so dead sexy by night and beautiful in sleep?

And then, the most horrendous sound she’d ever heard came from his slightly parted lips. The donkey’s bray snore of the formerly inebriated. Bella clapped a hand over her mouth. Melody made the most exasperated noise of disgust. “See?” She shook her head sadly.

“Here.” Bella set Melody on the ground and took her phone out. She pressed a few buttons and put the phone in her hand. “Take a video. You can send it to Uncle Em. He’ll get a kick out of it.”

Gleeful at the prospect, Melody scrambled to her father’s side. Her face scrunched up as he breathed out and she was standing too close. “Ew,” she said plaintively. 

Bella really had to try not to laugh then. She was sure her breath didn’t smell much better. She watched Melody, amused as always at the things toddlers these days knew how to do. Her daughter lifted the phone with unsteady hands. She knew enough to hold down the record button. The video would be shaky—Melody was giggling now—but that just added to the charm. Emmett was already smitten with his niece. 

When she tired of filming him—only a minute or so later—Mel put the phone down safely on the floor and climbed onto the couch. She straddled Edward’s chest. He gave an “Ooof,” as her bony knees dug into his stomach, but he didn’t really wake.

“Da-ddy.” Mel bounced on him. “Daddy. Daddy. Daddy.”

“Uh?” Edward came awake, blinking adorably as he stared up. He winced, no doubt as the headache hit him. “Oh, man.”

“You can’t hold your liquor, little boy,” Bella teased, grinning as Edward’s head snapped toward her and he winced again.

Melody let out a gail of high-pitched giggles. “Mommy! Daddy isn’t a little boy. He’s _old.”_

Edward smirked. “Yeah, Mommy. I’m old, see?” He groaned as he did his best to sit up, keeping Mel on his lap.

Bella stepped forward and ruffled his hair. “I’ll make you something greasy, okay?”

He tilted his head, a strange look on his face. That was exactly how this felt. Strange. Him being there when she woke up, like it was the most natural thing in the world, stoked a weird feeling in her. Warm, but weird. 

He nodded. “Greasy sounds great.” He squinted. “And maybe something for my head?”

She nodded. “I’m on it.”

But before she could get far, his hand tightened around her wrist. She turned back and saw concern in his eyes. “Bella… We didn’t…”

Her cheeks flushed hot and she squeezed his hand. “No.”

“Oh, good.” He slumped back on the couch, readjusting Melody on his lap. His lips turned up at one corner as he waggled his eyebrows at her. “I want to remember every minute of that.”

Bella considered teasing him, putting her hands on her hips and remarking that some things never changed. He still had sex on the mind when they had other things to talk about. But she decided it was cruel to give him a hard time when he already had a hangover. Besides, she might not have been hungover, but she didn't want to try to figure out how to word all that so as not to rouse Melody's curiosity.

Besides, she didn’t think she could get through it with a straight face. She wanted him. Badly. 

Melody tilted her head back to look at Bella. “Bacon?” 

“Bacon what?” Edward prompted their daughter.

“Bacon...an’ eggs?” 

Edward and Bella both chuckled, sharing a look over Melody’s shoulder. “How about a please, little face?” Bella said.

“Oh. Please, bacon an’ eggs an’ maybe some chocolate milk?” Melody batted her eyelashes.

“Oooooh. Chocolate milk.” Edward said, looking vaguely dreamy. 

Bella snorted. “Okay. Eggs, bacon, and chocolate milk coming right up.”

**_~0~_ **

They were bad at talking.

And because life was complicated, and they seemed to be on the same page about not changing the way they interacted in front of their daughter, they were bad at the following through on sex thing too. Which was why Bella found herself in the position she’d long claimed belonged to Edward.

She wasn’t interested in talking like a responsible adult. She didn’t really care the about all the questions they had to answer. She wanted to throw him down on the floor and have her wicked way with him.

He knew it too, the bastard. 

That first day, as they sat down to breakfast, even as Edward rubbed his head, listening to Melody chatter away, Bella felt the tip of his toe climb up her ankle. It was a light touch, but one that made her aware of every inch of her skin. Then, some minutes later as they lazed together—their little family—he draped his arm over the back of the couch so his fingertips could play with her hair. 

The cycle continued like that for days. Their schedules mixed, and they only saw each other when Melody was awake. They both had early hours and too much to do that week. So his touch lingered—electric and warm, sensual and visceral—for days. Thoughts of him crept up on her even when she was busy at work, until there was a persistent buzz, a cloud over her mind and thoughts that whispered his name.

She wanted him, and she’d always been a woman to go after what she wanted.

The evening before Edward was set to go on his winter-time hike in Olympic National Park with his friends, Bella made her move. 

This was the nice thing about being forty years old and confident in who she was. She was comfortable in her own skin. Like anyone, she had flaws and problem spots she was aware of, but she was also aware they didn’t much matter. 

Still, she had to take a steadying breath before she knocked on his apartment door that evening. When he opened up, she was leaning against the jamb, her lips turned up in the slightest smirk. 

Edward’s eyes went wide and then lust-dark as he took her in. She was wearing a cowgirl get up—tight jeans, a red button down, a cowboy hat perched on her head and the boots to match. “Bella?” Edward’s voice was low and raw as he stared.

“Let me in.” She put a hand to his chest, pushing lightly. “It’s freezing out here.”

He stumbled backward, his hand wrapping around hers on her chest as she shut the door behind her. She entwined their fingers and led him to his ratty couch. “Give me your phone.” She held her hand out even as she pushed him to sit down with the other. 

“Uh…” Edward had obviously caught on enough to understand where this was all going to end up—with both of them very naked—but she’d caught him by surprise. Good. He could stand to be flustered in the sex and sexiness department every once in a while. It was good for character growth.

He fished his phone out of his pocket and put it in her hand, his eyes still locked on hers—dark and confused and turned on. “What are you doing?” he finally managed as she began pressing buttons on his phone. “And what the hell are you wearing?”

She waggled her eyebrows mischievously as his sound system, hooked up to Alexa and his phone, clicked on. “Hush, little boy. It’s just a music lesson.”

That was the other good thing about being forty. Her formative music years had a few classics. She put his phone down on the coffee table as Ginuwine’s Pony came on. 

“Oh, Jesus. Fuck,” Edward groaned, getting the idea as Bella’s hips began to sway in time with the music and she unbuttoned the top button of her shirt. 

By the time she got to the chorus, her shirt was off. She climbed onto his lap, gyrating her hips as Ginuwine sang, “You’re horny, let’s do it. Ride it. My pony.”

Edward raised his hands, but Bella caught him by the wrist. “You know the strip club rules.”

He furrowed his brow, his face flushed as his hips rose to meet hers. “I’ve never been to a strip club.”

She leaned in so her lips were near his ear. “No touchy touchy.”

He groaned, and she took pity on him, guiding his hands to her hips and pressing them there. Then, she reached back to release the clasp of her bra. His eyes went directly there, and Bella felt her nipples tighten as he licked his lips. 

She wouldn’t mind if he touched her with his tongue. No, not at all.

But she wouldn’t be distracted. She wanted to have him undone by the end of this song.

She continued moving to the music, backing off him and standing again. He groaned, and he adjusted his hard length in his pants, but his breath caught as she kicked off the cowboy boots. Her jeans followed, and he she straddled him again, this time putting her cowboy hat on his head as she ground her panty-clad center against the bulge in his jeans.

“Bella.” His voice was breathy and deep all at once. “Can I please touch you?”

Pretty breathless herself by then, Bella could only nod. In an instant, his hands were all over her. He tilted his head, catching her mouth in a fervent kiss. His fingertips slid up her back, and she moaned against his lips, cupping a hand to his cheek. His hands came around to her breasts and he squeezed—too rough and yet…

God, yes. Rough was good. Rough was great.

His grip gentled and he rubbed a thumb over her nipples, his hips bucking up against her. She rubbed herself harder over him, seeking that sweet friction, and she gasped, suddenly finding herself flipped onto her back on the couch with him pressed over her. He released his mouth and kissed down her neck to her breasts. She arched beneath him, hands in his hair as his talented tongue swathed over her. His fingers danced along the hem of her panties—and then slipped beneath, tracing along her sensitive flesh until he found her wet and hot for him.

And she was done teasing. She reached between them, finding the fly of his jeans and unbuttoning. He straightened up, so he was kneeling on the couch at her feet, and pulled his shirt off in one smooth motion.

He was beautiful. It wasn't as though she hadn't noticed, even through all these years they'd been just friends. In the summer when he had occasion to take his shirt off, she’d drunk her fill watching him. His body had been changing as he got more into outdoor adventuring—his arms more muscular from rock climbing, his legs stronger, his torso more cut. She enjoyed the view, watching as he did his own version of a strip tease—much more hurried and many times less graceful.

“In some type of a rush?” she teased.

He fixed her with a sardonic look. “You’ve been driving me insane all week.”

Bella raised herself onto her elbows to stare sat him. “I’ve been driving you crazy? Are you kidding me?”

“You’ve been giving me that look.” Undressed now, he climbed back over her, dropping a rain of kisses across her stomach before he claimed her lips again. “Like you want to devour me. Or have your wicked way with me.”

She gave a soft sigh as he kissed her again, letting her hands wander the expanse of his back. Tilting her head up, she nipped at his earlobe. “You started it. You kept touching me.”

 

“I like touching you.” He pulled her panties down, working them off one leg and then the other with her help. He pressed her legs back, his body slotted between them. “I’ve thought about that a lot. All the ways I want to touch you.”

She pressed her lips together to smother a moan, lifting one foot to press her heel to his backside. She could feel his heat close to her, the head of his cock teasing her entrance. 

Before she could beg him to do it, to take her, he did. He slid forward, his cock parting her folds and sliding home. The arched beneath him, crying out, and he stifled a whimper. “Fuck, that’s good,” he murmured under his breath as he thrust, thrust, thrust deeper into her.

She cupped his ass, squeezing and urging him closer, and brought her legs up. He lowered his mouth to hers, swallowing each moan and whimper she gave him, leaving her his in return. His hands roamed her body, skimming and squeezing, gentle, then rough. Needy.

With a groan, he broke their kiss, panting. He turned his face to the side, still moving in her. “Oh, hell. Bella. I…”

She pressed a hand to his cheek, turning his head back to look at her. “We have time.”

This was no one night stand.

He let out a shuddering breath, groaning again when she squeezed his cock with her walls, urging him on. He didn’t need to be told twice. His thrust quickened, and she let out a breathy cry. “Edward,” she whispered. He felt so good inside her.

“Ah. So...agh.” He babbled nonsensically and buried his head at her neck. He pressed an open-mouthed kiss to her throat, his teeth digging in just a little as he began to pulse inside her. His body was glorious beneath her hands—the way it jerked, muscles tensing, and then, with his long moan, relaxed. 

She stroked his hair, enjoying the weight of him on her, the slick heat of his skin and the way he felt in her arms. 

They had to talk. There were truths to face and hard questions to be asked. But this?

This wasn’t where they ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sooooooooooooooooooooo.
> 
> Hi.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, my duckies! Here we are again.

“Oh, hell. Oh, fuck. Edward. Edward. Agghhhh.”

Bella pressed her head against the wood of the flimsy table, holding on for dear life as Edward pounded into her from behind. She had one hand stretched out in front of her, gripping the edge of the table. The other was pinned behind her, Edward’s fingers holding tight. His other hand was on her shoulder, tangled in her hair, just everywhere as he thrust, thrust, thrust into her, hitting a sweet spot inside her that made her scream as her walls tightened around his thick length.

He rasped her name as he jerked on top of her, cried out with a strangled groan, and collapsed against her, his hot, slick chest on her back. 

Bella blinked, coming back to herself slowly. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from chuckling at just how bizarre her life was. She was forty years old, and here she was being fucked over a table so rickety she was surprised it had held them up in a shabby apartment by a twenty-something. It could have been college all over again.

She bucked, needing to stand and stretch. He slipped out of her as he stood. She turned and found herself wrapped in his arms. He cupped her face between his hands, kissing her though they were both still breathless. 

Some minutes later, dressed again in rumpled clothes, they stood at his door, still wrapped up in each other. They kissed, slow and languid, tongues pressing, chins tilted, noses bumping. Her hands roamed along his back, enjoying the feel of him. His thumb traced delicious circles behind her ear. She loved his hands and all the ways he knew to use them. Talented fingers, this one, as he’d proven to her again that night.

With a sigh, she broke their kiss and took a single step back. She took his face between her palms and just looked at him. His eyes were hooded with tenderness and adorably sleepy. She chuckled. “I kept you up way past your bedtime.”

“It's barely one.”

“It's almost two.” Bella smoothed his hair back. “And you have to be up in a few hours, don’t you?”

His grin turned wicked, and he leaned in to nip at her ear. “Give me a few more minutes, and I can be up again now.”

She giggled, ducking her head to catch his lips. The man made her giddy; she couldn't deny that. “Settle down, horn dog.” She kissed him sweetly. “Are you going to be okay? For real. I shouldn't have kept you up when you're going to be hiking in a few hours.”

“I'm fine. Young and vigorous.” He waggled his eyebrows.

She rolled her eyes. “Right.” She sighed, trying to remember the things that needed to be said before he left. “I need you to do me a favor.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded, raising her eyes to meet his. “While you're up there, I need you to think about what you want.”

His hands tightened at her waist, and he leaned in again. “I already told you. I want you.”

She spread her hand wide over his face, pushing him back gently. “Seriously, Edward.” She traced his lip with her finger. “Think about everything you want with me and without me. Everything you want out of life. There are some realities we’re going to have to talk about when you get back. It's a nice idea that love is all you need, but it's not the truth.” She smiled. “We’re in different places in our lives, and the things we want might take us in different directions no matter how we feel about each other.”

He took her hand and lifted it to his lips, pressing a long kiss there. “But you love me?”

She grinned. “I really do. But—”

He kissed her. “I know. I hear you. I'll think about it. I promise.”

**_~0~_ **

“Bella. Earth to Bella.” Siobahn cackled. “Uh huh. You know what the bad thing is about that silky smooth skin of yours is? It tells so many stories.” Her grin turned lascivious. “That pretty, pretty boy you stole out from under Maggie the other night had a bit of beard scruff, didn’t he?” She tapped a spot on Bella’s neck where Edward’s scruff had indeed chafed her skin.

“She didn’t steal him,” Maggie said, lowering her voice as she came to perch on Bella’s desk. “That man had his eyes on her from the moment he saw her.”

In spite of herself, Bella flushed a warm pink, unable to keep the smirk off her lips.

“And it’s still going on?” Siobahn asked, sounding gleeful. “Details, woman. At least let us live vicariously through you.”

Bella eyed the two women, both of whom were smiling with genuine warmth. She warred with herself, trying to decide if they were worth letting her guard down. But they’d been nothing but kind to her, and had proven they were true friends. “I wouldn’t be too jealous. It’s not that I got game so much as I have history.”

“You’ve hooked up with him before?” Maggie said.

“Ah. Yes. Once before.” She let her gaze flick between the two of them. “He’s Melody’s father.”

They both gawked at her. Maggie choked on a laugh, and Siobhan brought her fist down once on Bella’s desk. “Ladies. We’re going to lunch.”

**_~0~_ **

Over lunch, Bella told Maggie and Siobhan the harrowing story of how she came to be a resident of Port Angeles, Washington, in possession of a beautiful baby girl, and a young, sexy baby daddy. 

“If you’d told me he was claimed, I never would have acted the way I did,” Siobhan said, her tone easy and teasing. “I thought you were single.”

“I am single. And I don’t have a claim.” Bella wrinkled her nose. “Or, I didn’t. I don’t know.” She rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “It’s complicated.”

“What’s so complicated?” Maggie asked. “You have a baby together for chrissakes. If you get along, it sounds pretty simple to me.”

It was Siobhan who scoffed. “See, the problem with you, Mags, is you’re not happily single.” She sighed, her tone wistful. “My divorce was the best thing that happened to me. The freedom. You don’t realize how much of you gets lost in a relationship. How much you compromise. And don’t get me wrong. Compromise is a great thing when it comes to relationships.” She smirked. “Of course, which one of you compromises more, loses more is a whole other story, but theoretically speaking, you and your person should make a good team. Equal loss, equal gain. That’s a beautiful thing.

“I married young. I never got to figure out who I was just being me. I was always part of a unit. Him and me. Then, him, me, and the kids. Our Bella here has always been just her. Well. Her and beautiful baby Melody for a little while now, but kids are different than partners.” Siobhan looked to Bella. “I get it. I can’t even imagine what it would take for me to want to be in a relationship again. The idea of letting someone else have a say in my life? Not something I’m into.”

“That’s part of it,” Bella admitted. “I love being single, and this… This whole thing is so…” She waved her hand helplessly. “I mean, when Mel happened, we were just strangers. Good-looking strangers who knew each other for minutes before we created a whole new human being. And I don’t regret that, but it was destructive, you know? It was destructive for both of us, and I wasn’t in love with him then. Christ, he’s so young. Barely twenty when Mel was born. 

“But these last three years, he grew up from this boy trying to figure out how what’s right to a man. A good man, and…” She covered her face with her hands. “I’ve never felt this way before. I’ve never been so distracted by a man before.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” Maggie asked.

“I mean…” Bella searched for the words. “It’s just not a me thing. This whole thing where I feel him on my skin, and it doesn’t matter what I’m doing, my thoughts go to him. His smile. Something he said.” She shook her head.

“Like being back in high school,” Siobhan mused.

“Exactly. And it’s an awesome high, but at the same time, I don’t like it. I don’t like feeling this way—over the moon and out of control and all bleh.” She stuck her tongue out. “Like I don’t want to be an adult. I don’t want to think about things like the fact we might be fundamentally different. Finding satisfaction in my work has always been my most important thing. I wanted it more than I wanted kids, and definitely more than I ever wanted a man. But Edward—I think he’s more of a family guy. He works hard, and he’s found something he wants to do with his life, but it’s not his most important thing. I think family is.” She frowned. “I don’t want any more kids. I wonder if he’s thought of that, but at the same time, I don’t want to bring it up because I want him. I do.”

“Does it have to be so complicated? If you’re happy, why question it?” Maggie asked with a shrug. 

“The problem is what happens when you’re not happy,” Siobhan said. “When the tingles wear off, and you remember that a year is a long time, and forever is an eternity.” She chuckled, amused at herself. 

To Maggie, she said, “Here’s how it happens. Bella and Baby Daddy are happy and giddy and oh so in love. And when you’re happy and giddy and oh so in love, a lot of crap doesn’t sound like a big deal. So they don’t get to have any more kids. So what? They’re happy.

“But a few years pass, and Baby Daddy starts to see other dads around with kids tumbling all over them. He suddenly realizes what it means to be done having kids when he was twenty years old.”

Bella ran a hand over her eyes. “Ugh. Yes. Exactly. Relationships are complicated. Not bad. Just complicated.”

“And life is already all sorts of twisted all by itself. You tangle your life up with someone else’s and you’re bound to wonder why you’re helplessly tied in knots when you find out that you’re not on the same page.”

“Which might take five, ten years,” Bella said.

“But you’ve had five or ten years of happy then.” Maggie waved a hand, her tone and smile bubbly.

“Sure. It’s a matter of if it’s worth what you lose. Kids for him, for instance. For me—the only thing I know for sure right now is that I want to switch careers. To what, who knows? But I’m forty. I don’t _want_ to be distracted right now.” She tilted her head, trying to ignore the pang of heartache. Her heart and her soul wanted different things. 

She shrugged. “I’m not saying no, and I’m not jaded. I know it could be worth it. My dad fell in love with his best friend’s widow, and they’re great together. Good partners. And who knows. Maybe switching careers will be easy once I figure out what I want to do. Maybe it’ll be something as simple as buying a fishing boat or something.”

That broke some of the seriousness that had fallen over them. The other two snickered. “Oh, yeah. That sounds like you,” Maggie said. “Coming home to your man smelling of fish. Right up your alley.”

“Okay,” Siobahn said. “What you gotta do is make a pro/con list. Start with the positives.” She tilted her head, her eyes glinting with mischief. “Good in bed?”

Bella’s cheeks heated, and that was all her friends needed to know. They laughed, and Siobhan held up one finger.

“You know he’s going to be good with Mel,” Maggie said.

Bella sighed. He was never more sexy than when he was in dad mode, unashamed and uninhibited with his affection for his little girl.

“He’s no bum,” Siobhan said.

“Yeah, he’s got a good head on his shoulders.”

Again, Siobhan’s grin grew wide. “And tell you what, if you marry him, you never have to worry which one of you will die first. You’ll never be lonely.”

Bella balked and Maggie choked on her drink. “You’re such an ass,” Bella said, laughing.

They were still laughing, teasing each other, a minute later when Bella’s phone lit up on the table. “Speak of the devil.” Warmth and a giddy thrill went through her when she saw Edward’s name and image on the screen. “Can you guys be good for a minute so I can talk to him?” She picked up the phone and pointed a finger at Siobhan. “I mean it. For God’s sake, don’t scare him off before I can figure out what I want.”

Both women put on angelic expressions but cracked up as soon as they looked at each other. Bella shook her head ruefully as she turned her head away to answer. “Hey, you. I thought you weren’t going to be back in cell range until tomorrow,” Bella said into the phone.

“Oh, Edward. Hey,” Siobhan called loudly.

Bella waved a frantic hand at her, turning all the way around in her chair and tilting her head down. “Can you say that again?”

“Is this Bella?” a voice that was definitely not Edward asked.

“Yes. Who is this?”

“It’s Mike. Listen. There was an accident up there on the mountain. Edward… It’s bad.” His voice was stressed and thin. Bella’s heart skipped a beat. The man on the other end of the phone made a strange, mournful noise. “It’s really, really bad.”

Bella was already on her feet. She cursed as Mike’s voice started to cut in and out.

“...mountain. I mean— Couldn’t get to— Hospital.”

“Mike? Hello? Shit,” Bella got outside, trying to keep ahold of her phone and scramble through her bag for her keys. “Mike?”

“Just hurry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Next chapter is my priority. :) Just hope I don’t go into labor. ;)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The good news is, the chapter is here!

“This isn’t what Edward would want. Do you understand that?” Bella dug the heel of her hand against her brow, out of her mind with a frantic frustration. 

The hospital’s front desk clerk sat up straighter but kept his tone even as he addressed her to say the same thing for the millionth time. “Ma’am, his family—”

“His parents haven’t even seen him in three years!” Bella blew out a breath, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I know. I know it’s policy. It’s not your fault.” Her eyes had started to well with tears, anger making her jaw tense. She couldn’t stand the fact Edward was in this hospital, hurt, and she couldn’t get to him. “It’s just that you don’t understand. I’m his…” She huffed.

Nothing. She was nothing. She had no rights here, and she knew it.

“I’ll be here. We’ll be here,” she said, gesturing vaguely at the main hospital lobby. “When he wakes up. When he asks for me.” She retreated, running a hand over her face as she made her way over to the small group of bedraggled hikers.

The way Edward’s friends were looking at her might have been funny any other day. They were all over eighteen, but they were watching her with the wide-eyed expressions of children needing an adult to tell them what to do. As overwhelmed with grief, frustration, and anger as she was, Bella didn’t want to adult just then. She wanted someone else to be in charge of this situation. They knew more than she did at this point anyway since she’d been invited to this particular party late.

As she walked the short distance to them, Bella reassessed what little information she had, trying to find some reassurance somewhere. 

The camping trip was supposed to last four days. Today was the third day—four long hours since Bella had been out to lunch with her friends and received Mike’s pained call. The accident had happened the day before.

They’d reached their final destination a decent way up the mountain and were searching for a place to camp for the evening when desperate cries had alerted the group to trouble. They found a pair of hikers, one of whom had slid down an icy embankment and was in danger of falling off a cliff to the rocks below. To make matters worse, the man’s leg was fractured. He wasn’t coming down off this mountain without help.

Apparently, Edward had sprung into action. He’d sent the two strongest, fastest hikers in his own group down the mountain in search of help. He’d raided all their gear, rigged up as safe a climbing harness as he could, and given instructions. With his friends’ help, he was lowered down to the injured hiker. He’d assessed the man’s condition, immobilized his leg, and gotten him secure in the hoist they’d rigged up.

It was when Edward was hauled back up again that disaster struck. Tyler let go of the rope securing Edward to pull him bodily back up to safe ground. And that would have been fine except that he braced his foot against an ice-slicked rock. He slipped, landing safely on his ass, but Edward couldn’t find purchase. He slid, tumbling down the rockface and off the ledge.

Hiking Mount Rainier in the winter. She’d told him. She’d _told_ him.

It was only because he’d sent people ahead and help was already on the way that Edward survived. At least, that was the gist Bella got. It was hard to piece together information given that the hospital staff wouldn’t speak to any of them. They knew he was alive. A royal mess, but alive. He hadn’t regained consciousness. Or if he had, he had to be unable to communicate, because no part of Bella believed he would let his parents keep her away.

That was the other thing. Lauren, apparently, had gotten ahold of his phone first and hadn’t told anyone. She’d called his parents—he did have their number stored—and had feigned ignorance when the others wanted to call Bella first. It was only after his parents had arrived and gotten them all banned from seeing Edward that Lauren fessed up. She had Edward’s phone. That was when Mike called.

Though, to be fair, if Bella hadn’t been in some kind of love and sex coma, she probably would have heard the commotion in the studio. Two people being helicoptered down off Mount Rainier was a relatively big story in their little town, especially after word of the heroics filtered down. Bella watched a colleague’s’ news report on her phone on the interminably long drive from Port Angeles to Seattle. 

Siobhan had driven her here, and she was older than Bella. Maybe she would take over the adulting for awhile. Her friend did come over to put an arm around her. That helped. A bit. 

Bella took a deep breath, trying to find calm. Her heart ached with every beat. 

“They’re not going to give us anything if we’re not family,” she said, fighting to keep her voice calm. 

“This is crazy,” Mike said, running a hand through his hair. “They got everything all wrong—his parents, I mean. The way they were talking, it was like he was in a shootout or something. It was an accident. Do they think we led him up there to murder him?”

“He and his parents don’t get along,” Tanya said. She turned to glare at Lauren. “I could have told you that. He wouldn’t have wanted us to call them.”

“How was I supposed to know that?” Lauren said.

Bella was distracted from jumping in on that argument by her phone buzzing at her hip. She glanced and winced. “Oh, god,” she muttered under her breath, eyes welling with tears of sorrow now. “Mel and my dad are here. What am I going to tell her?”

Siobhan said nothing but rubbed her back. There was nothing to say. This was the reality of parenthood. She had to be the one to make her daughter cry.

She wiped viciously at the tears that squeezed passed her closed eyelids and took deep breaths, trying to put walls around the most extreme of her emotions. Fury. Grief. Fear. She needed to be calm, because as horrible as she felt, this was going to be the worst day of her daughter's life to date.

By the time Charlie came through the main doors, Melody on his hip, Bella was as calm as she was going to get. Her heart ached. The way Mel was already clinging to Charlie's neck, her face buried against him, told Bella she was in freaked out mode. When she saw Bella, Mel lifted her head and reached out.

“Mommy!” Her lower lip trembled, and she breathed in those big, pre-meltdown gasps as Bella took her into her arms.

“Melly, Melly, Melly.” Bella hugged her daughter tightly to her, stroking her hair.

“I want Daddy.” Mel hid her face on Bella's shoulder, voice plaintive. “Grampy said he's hurted.”

Bella met her father's eyes over her daughter’s head. Charlie reached out and squeezed her shoulder comfortingly. She sighed, resting her cheek against Mel's hair. “Let's talk a second, baby.”

“No. I want my daddy.” Mel began to whimper.

“Shh. I know.” Bella sat down in the lobby chair, settling Mel on her lap. She stroked her hair and back. “Listen to me, okay. I know this is scary, but I'm right here. And Grampy. And all these people.”

“I want Daddy.”

“I know.” _Me too, baby girl_. “But listen to me. Daddy went hiking on the mountain, remember?” She cupped a hand under Melody's chin and smoothed back her hair to look in her eyes. “He fell, and he got hurt. But there are a lot of good doctors here. And good nurses. They're all working so hard to make your daddy better.

“Right now, Daddy is sleeping. He hit his head, and he can't wake up yet.” Her voice cracked, and she had to press her tongue to the roof of her mouth to keep from losing it.

“We can kiss him, Mommy,” Mel whispered. “We can kiss him better. We can kiss him, and he'll wake up.”

“I wish that was how it worked. But Daddy is too sick for that right now. He needs doctors, not kisses.”

“But can we see him?”

Bella pressed her lips into a thin line, trying to find the right words. She didn't want Melody to know the grandparents she'd never met were the ones keeping her daddy away from her. “The doctors aren't done with him yet.” That might have been true. She had no way of knowing at this point. “We’re going to wait a little bit right here. Or maybe we can go to the cafeteria. Are you hungry?”

Melody shook her head, plastering herself to Bella as she sniffled. Bella rocked her gently, her eyes stinging. She watched as her father took a seat next to her. They had a brief, silent conversation, and when he furrowed his brow, she knew he'd read between the lines. She'd already told him Edward's parents were here. 

Charlie had been the one Edward had gone to, tail between his legs, after the last time he'd talked to his parents around two years before. He'd managed to move into his own apartment, but some months into renting, he had gotten in over his head with money problems. Nothing major, but he hadn't wanted to turn to Bella or Charlie for help when they'd already done so much for him. He'd felt like a failure sometimes in that first year of Melody's life. He struggled to take care of himself and done as much as he could for his daughter. 

So, at the end of his rope, he'd called his parents for help. They had, as they'd promised they would, reminded him he'd made his bed, and he hadn't tried to talk to them since.

Bella's blood boiled. For the life of her, she couldn't understand what they thought his life was. He'd kept his nose clean and done well for himself. His friends, huddled together and looking so worried for him, were good, hardworking young people. His parents were treating them like they were dangerous gang members. 

And Melody. Did they think their granddaughter was inherently bad just because she also belonged to Bella? It was possible, if they knew she was here, they would let Melody see her father, but without Bella? Not a chance. Bella didn't want Melody to hear whatever they had to say.

She gasped. “Emmett.”

No one had called Emmett. Or maybe his parents had. They had a weird, strained relationship. Emmett had never tried to reach out to them for any kind of help after he'd relapsed. He talked to them, though. Just talked and never about his struggles to stay on the straight and narrow.

At the very least, he'd tell Bella what was happening. It would be good to have him here. If he was in bad financial times, Bella was sure he'd let her buy him a plane ticket under the circumstances. 

“Mel, sweetheart. Will you sit with Grandpa so I can call Uncle Emmy?”

Mel scowled but then seemed to consider. “Will you tell him to come? Daddy needs him too.”

“That's exactly what I'm going to do.” Bella stood and transferred her daughter back to her father's arms.

Siobhan shot her a tight smile. “I'm going to see what's available in hotels around here for everyone. It looks like it's going to be a long night.”

“Thank you so much.” Bella flipped through the contacts in her phone. She found Emmett's name and put the phone to her ear.

“Bell,” Emmett greeted her, his tone somehow more somber than his usual boom. “I was going to call you on the way to the airport.”

“They did call you then.”

“Yeah.” He sighed. “I'm sorry, Bella. I know they're being a pain in the ass about this. I've been trying to tell them for years Edward is as reformed as anyone can get, but they don't trust either one of us as far as they can throw us. And this is exactly where they said we'd end up. In a hospital, knocking on death's door. They won't believe the reason is innocent.”

Bella gripped the phone. “Emmett…” Her voice was raw. “He's not… I mean… He's… Death's door?”

“Ah, hell. I'm sorry. No. He's not… Well, he’s fighting. Not gonna lie. It sounds like he's fucked up pretty good. Collapsed lung. Multiple breaks in his ribs and left arm. But the main thing is the swelling around his brain. They don't know if he's going to wake up.”

“Oh, god. Oh, god.” Bella's head spun. “This is not happening.”

“He's fighting it. You know he's stubborn.”

Bella clenched her jaw, trying not to collapse right there.

“Listen. I'm on a plane in an hour. I'll be there in four or five. I'll talk to my parents. I'll make them see.”

“Yeah.” She swallowed hard. “I need to see him, Emmett. And Mel… Oh, hell.”

“I'll be there. I swear.”

**_~0~_ **

Mel wasn't at all happy to be dragged out of the hospital, far away from her Daddy, that night. She threw a tantrum the likes of which Bella had never seen right there in the hospital parking lot. She cried and screamed until she wore herself out, and then collapsed in her mother’s arms, fingers tangled up in her shirt. 

Bella only held her and rocked her, telling her over and over again how loved she was. She cried her own tears quietly into Melody’s hair. What mother could bear to see her child in such an unfathomable amount of pain? And Bella knew that pain only too well. The need to see Edward twisted under her skin. She didn’t care what he looked like. She needed to touch him. To hold his hand and tell him.

This wasn’t how their story ended. 

Some time later, she’d finally settled her daughter in a hotel bed. Siobhan had gone home. As had Tyler and Lauren, but the rest—Tanya, Irina, Mike, and Charlie—had stayed, hoping Edward’s parents would figure out they were there to lend their support, not cause trouble. 

Bella stretched out beside her daughter, stroking her hair to soothe her back to sleep when she woke fitfully. As she did, she kept up a text conversation with Emmett who told her he was leaving the airport to head to the hospital and that there’d been no change with Edward. 

With a hand over her eyes, Bella tried not to weep. She failed. With her other hand on her daughter’s small form, Bella cried. Fear and helplessness threatened to drive her to hysterics. 

Her father’s gentle touch on her back kept her grounded. She turned carefully and clung to his neck, not caring that she was far too old to need her Daddy. She let him murmur soft comforts. Edward was young and strong. He had a lot to live for. 

And when she had cried herself to exhaustion, Charlie put his blanket over her, tucking her in as though she were four years old again. He stroked her hair until she fell into a fitful sleep. 

In the middle of the night, she woke to an eerily quiet room. She blinked a few times, not remembering at first where she was or why. When the haze of her thoughts cleared, she grabbed for her phone. 

There were several messages from Emmett.

_He looks… I guess he looks like he fell off a cliff._

But then—

_So, I brought my girlfriend with me. Rose. I told you about her. She’s… Well, she yelled at my parents. It was awesome. And scary. She and Mom almost got kicked out of the hospital, but long story short? My parents are willing to meet you, and they want to listen._

Bella’s first thought was a resounding fuck. Them. Why the hell would she have any interest in talking to them? They left a path of destruction wherever they went. 

But… 

She needed to see Edward. At almost any cost. Disgruntled, she deleted her original text letter by letter, watching the all caps “fuck them” disappear from the screen. Instead, she wrote a simple message. 

_See you in the morning._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The bad news is, Edward still isn’t out of the woods. 
> 
> I’m on it. Promise.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And, we’re back!

Almost as soon as Bella had gotten Melody loose from her carseat and set her on the ground, the little girl spotted her gigantic uncle. “Melody!” Bella barely grabbed her by her hood before she dashed across the parking lot .

“I want Uncle Emmy.” Melody strained, her arms out.

Emmett was over to them in several long strides. “You can’t be running into traffic, baby,” he said, scooping the little girl up into his arms. He hugged her tight. “I think we’ve had enough accidents, don’t you?”

Bella stepped to his side as he shifted Melody and opened an arm to her. She shuddered, melting into his brief but tight hug. Then, she put a little space between them as an intimidating blond came to stand beside him.

“This is my Rose,” Emmett said, his smile big as he looked to the blond. “Rosalie, this is Bella and my Melody.” He gave the little girl a big smooch on the cheek.

For the first time since the night before, Melody giggled. “Are you Uncle Emmy’s lady?” 

Rosalie seemed to melt, her hard expression softening as she caressed Melody’s hair. “He’s my man.” 

Melody reached out to trace her fingers over the tattoos that peeked out from under Rosalie’s jacket—a vine along her hand that ended in an ornate rose on her ring finger. “Oooo,” she said reverently. 

Bella offered a hand. “I heard you had a showdown with Esme. I’d have paid good money to see that.”

Rosalie’s lips twitched up at one corner. “Yes, well. Someone had to tell them just how far their heads are up their asses.”

“Ooh.” Melody looked at Emmett. “Emmy, your lady said a bad word.”

Emmett flashed her a grin. “What can I say? Sometimes Rosie is a bad, bad girl.”

Rosalie rolled her eyes. “Sorry,” she said to Melody with a nod at Bella. “They drive me a little nuts. This one I understand.” She gestured at Emmett. “He put them through the wringer, and he’s annoying too.” She smirked at him. “But Edward? I know I never met him before all this, but it sounds like he’s done everything he can to be a good man.”

Melody furrowed her brow, obviously perplexed at the conversation. “My daddy is a good boy.” Her lip trembled. She was sensitive to everything about her father at the moment.

Emmett bounced her on his hip and Rosalie was quick to put a hand to her back. “That’s exactly right. Of course he is.”

By then, Charlie had joined the little party. After another round of introductions, Emmett lifted Melody up onto his broad shoulders. The sound of her laughter was a balm to Bella’s aching heart. 

They chatted for a few minutes, deciding the logistics of how this was going to happen. Edward’s parents wanted to talk to Bella and meet Melody. Bella wasn’t about to let the latter happen until she’d heard what they had to say. They'd already made her daughter cry. Hell if she was going to let them do it again.

Melody was none too pleased about the prospect of being separated from her mother and uncle. She was cajoled into cooperation when Rosalie promised to show her all her tattoos. Always one to press her luck, Melody negotiated until Rosalie further promised to let her try on her rings. When Rosalie said she could see the rings only if she had breakfast, Melody agreed to go to the hospital cafeteria with her new favorite aunt and her grandfather.

“There’s only two people allowed at a time in the ICU,” Emmett explained as they walked in that direction. “My parents are going to let you and Mel sit with Edward. That’s a foregone conclusion no matter what, but they have a few things to say first.”

Bella bristled. “They want a lecture? An interrogation?”

“No.” Emmett rubbed the back of his neck, wiggling his snakebite piercing—one of his nervous tics. “They know they owe you an explanation about the last four years, Bell. Especially after what Mom did to you.” He scoffed. “Rosalie made sure she understood exactly what she’d cost you.”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. They’re mixed up about a lot of things. But they know their kid could die with all this bad blood between them.” He swallowed hard. “And they know if he does die like this, you’ll probably never let them see Mel. They know all that.”

“He’s not going to die,” Bella said through gritted teeth. Her heart was pounding way too hard.

“I know. No. I think…” Emmett made an exasperated noise. “Sorry. You know I’m not great with words. I didn’t mean it like that.”

Bella took a steadying breath. “I know. I just… I can’t imagine it even in theory. The world without him. It’s impossible. He has to wake up.”

Emmett stopped and put a hand on her shoulder. “He’s gonna pull through. He is. I’m just saying, this isn’t about Mom and Dad wanting to yell at you or anything like that. They aren’t evil, you know? They never hated Edward or Melody or you. Just...things got so twisted.”

“Yeah, well, I’m warning you now I’m giving this civility thing exactly one chance. If they so much as look at me wrong, they’ll be lucky to get only yelling.” She flexed her fists at her sides. “They made my baby cry, Emmett. They made her scream for her father.”

“That was never what we wanted.”

Bella whirled around coming face to face with Esme and Carlisle Cullen. She’d never seen Edward’s father in person, but the fact they shared features—the shape of their mouths and the set of their eyes—infuriated Bella just then. At the sight of them, she forgot about civility. “That wasn’t your intention? You never wanted Edward to be her father. This is what you always wanted, isn’t it? To get us away from him.”

Esme’s eyes went from pained to something harder. “Isn’t that what you said you wanted? For him to stay with us while you walked away with his child?”

“Walk away with his child,” Bella repeated scathingly. “I was pregnant. Anywhere I had to go, she came with me, but I never tried to keep her away from him. I wanted him to have whatever he wanted out of his life. Whether he stayed with you or found a way to follow me, I never tried to keep him away from his daughter.”

“Hey!” They all turned to see an intimidating looking nurse making her way to them looking not best pleased. “This is a hospital. Whatever this is, take it outside.”

Carlisle stepped forward, putting a hand on his wife’s arm. “No. It’s fine.” He looked at Bella, his eyes apologetic. “We got off on the wrong foot. Can we talk? Calmly?”

Bella clenched her jaw. She had about a thousand not-at-all-calm things to say to these people, but he she had to remind herself getting to Edward was her end game. Getting kicked out of the hospital wasn’t going to help anything. She nodded at Carlisle, grateful when Emmett stepped to her side as they walked down the corridor.

They found a small, empty waiting room and took the most unobtrusive corner, knowing it was likely to fill up any second. 

“It’s hard to know where to start,” Carlisle said. “It’s been hard to understand the reality of Edward’s situation from what little contact we’ve had with him the last few years.”

Bella’s temper flared again. “Because you’ve never believed the truth. He told you. He never tried to hide it from you.”

“That’s clear now,” Esme said. “Reporters tracked us down. He saved someone’s life. He and his friends work at the National Park.”

“If you’d bothered to talk to him for years, you would know what he was doing.”

“We’ve tried. We never cut ties with him,” Carlisle said. 

“I don’t know what the last few years have looked like to you. We can only explain things as they happened from our perspective, for what it’s worth. Not as an excuse. If we had it all to do again…” He shook his head. “Our son was nineteen when you met him. With not even a high school diploma to his name. When we bailed Edward out of prison and paid for his defense, there were rules and consequences he agreed to. We would pay for him to go to school nearby, and he was welcome to live at home as long as he was moving forward, putting his life back together. Edward broke our trust once, and that was all the chance we were going to give him. He knew he had to earn it back.”

“An accidental pregnancy isn’t committing another crime.”

“No, but running away from his only support system and the tools he needed to rebuild his life at the whim of another woman—”

“I didn’t ask him for anything,” Bella said through gritted teeth.

Carlisle raised a hand, his expression again apologetic. “I realize that. But we don’t know you. Edward really didn’t know you at the time. He didn’t think you would try to pull anything on him, but all we had was his word.”

“And that wasn’t good enough.” Bella flexed her fists, irritated. “I know what you wanted for him. I don’t blame you for wanting him to stay where he was, to put his life back together where you could help him more easily, but trying to be where his kid was isn’t the same thing as running off with some random woman.”

Esme sighed. “No, and I wish we could have believed it was just that. When he ran away with that other woman, he had good intentions then too. She made him a criminal. She got him into drugs. And then, when he came to us about you, he was panicked. Erratic. What were we supposed to think?” She offered a sad smile. “Your child is very young. She can’t be anything other than innocent. I hope you’ll never have to see the day when you had to come to the same realization that we did.” She took a shaky breath. “That almost every word that came out of your child’s mouth was a lie or a manipulation. That every time you believed him, you enabled him, allowed his disease to dig its way further into him.”

“But that was me,” Emmett said, his voice quiet. “Edward was never an addict.”

“Why couldn’t it be Edward? Would he really have told us if he was doing the drugs he was accused of having on him?” Carlisle asked. “Edward’s problems were his own. It wasn’t anything to do with you, Emmett. We didn’t have the luxury of naivety, and we knew for a fact Edward was already mixed up in some pretty bad things. How could we know the kind of people he still kept contact with even if he wasn’t doing them himself?”

“But you couldn't have thought he made Melody up to manipulate you,“ Bella said. “You met me.” The words came out bitterly, and Esme had the decency to look ashamed. “She was a total accident. An innocent accident on both our parts. And I know he sent you pictures when she was born.”

Esme and Carlisle exchanged a sad look. “I know, after everything, you probably won’t believe this, but having a grandchild we couldn’t know out there has been a constant heartache,” Esme said. “It was Edward’s choice to keep us at a distance when we wouldn’t give him the money he wanted. Before he asked, we talked about her. We were always willing to be her grandparents. To know her, and to be a part of Edward’s life, of course. But when we wouldn’t bail him out of the financial problems he claimed to have, he hung up and ignored our calls after that.”

“Manipulators don’t hesitate to use their children as leverage,” Carlisle said. “Of course we would love her. We love our sons. That’s what makes saying no to them so impossible. When Edward called us the last time, it sounded to us exactly like our worst fears. He was just trying to take care of his daughter, he said.”

“That was true,” Bella shot back, frustrated.

“But again, how could we know that? After everything we went through with Emmett and then with Edward, we were cautious. You can say we were too cautious. In hindsight, I would agree with you, but we lived a very different reality with Edward than you have. We go to support groups for family members of addicts and criminals. It happens a lot. We would get to know and love Melody, and he has the ability to yank her away, not let us see her, if we don’t give him whatever he wants. We chose not to start down that road.”

“Edward would never do something like that.”

“That’s what we thought about Emmett, and it took almost losing him to get us to change our minds.” Esme sighed, putting a palm to her forehead. “This is all very tangled. Look, it’s easy to say we would have made different choices if we knew then what we know now. If we’d all been calmer—Edward and both of us—things would have been different. But he was panicked and unsure about everything, talking in terms of things he _had_ to do, not things he wanted. He didn’t know which way was up, and we were desperate to keep him with us, where we knew we could help him figure everything out.”

Bella well remembered the wide-eyed boy Edward had been. Hadn’t that been what she told him over and over? Not to choose to give up his life out of a feeling of responsibility?

It had been a gamble for all of them—Bella trusting Edward, and Edward making a decision to destroy the life his parents were helping him build in favor of starting from scratch to be there for his daughter. There were no guarantees. If Bella had been a different person, she could have made his life a nightmare, making it difficult for him to see his child or taking him for every penny of child support she could even while he was struggling to put food in his own mouth. 

“It was hard to know how to come back from everything after all these years,” Carlisle said, picking up the story. “We knew from Emmett that Edward was alive and supposedly doing well. We tried calling for a year after that last time, and he never answered.”

Bella’s heart panged. Edward had been angry and hurt. 

Esme took a shaky breath. “Yesterday, we shut everybody out until we could figure out what was going on. I… I don’t know that I can say I’m sorry for that.” Her eyes pinched at the corners. “After years of silence...that girl who called. She didn’t make a lot of sense.” She rolled her eyes to the ceiling, shaking her head. “Which, now that I think about it, is understandable. Edward is a mess, and she was sure he was going to die. Seeing something like what happened to him must have…” Her voice cracked.

“She sounded like she was on drugs,” Bella said, putting two and two together.

“It took awhile before we really understood how he ended up here,” Carlisle said, his arm wrapped around his wife. “We hadn’t seen our son in years. We didn’t want to deal with Edward’s friends, but we didn’t know you were here with your daughter. By the time you arrived, we had asked the nurses not to bother us.” Now, his voice shook. “They thought, for a time, that he was going to die. We wanted those last moments. We just wanted to be with him. Just family.”

“We’re his family,” Bella said, shaken by the thought of watching Edward, not knowing if he was going to slip into oblivion. 

Wiping away her tears, Esme nodded. “We know that.” She took a deep breath. “We wanted to clear the air for better or worse. That was the point of this. You can be with Edward. I’m sure his daughter being there will help him find his way back to all of us again.” Her voice shook, and she looked away, swallowing hard. “We…”

When his wife couldn’t finish, Carlisle stepped in. “You have every right to be angry, and if that means you don’t want us to know Melody, we understand that. But we’d like to. Know her. Meet her.”

Bella gnashed her teeth, looking away from them. She wanted a lot of things, not the least of which was to tell them they could go straight to hell if they thought they were ever getting near her daughter after what they’d pulled the day before.

But, rationality set in. Even when he did wake up—and he was going to, she was sure—Edward had a long hospital stay ahead of him. Who knew how long she would have to share a space with Esme and Carlisle. There was no way Melody wouldn’t figure out they were important somehow.

She let out a long breath, taking a moment to smile at Emmett who rubbed her back soothingly. Finally, she looked across to Carlisle and Esme. “I honestly don’t know what Edward would want in this situation. His relationship with you has always been his business, and I only have your side of how everything between you happened.

“What I do know is that Edward needed you years ago. When he was trying to figure out how to be a father, he shouldn’t have had to rely on _my_ father to help him when it was you he wanted. My dad’s been filling your shoes for a long time now.”

They didn’t argue, and that went a long way to calm Bella down. “But for now, since we can’t exactly ignore each other, yes, you can meet Melody. But I’m telling you now, if Edward wakes up and he doesn’t want you to see her, what he says goes.”

“That’s fair,” Carlisle said after a long, tense moment. His voice was rough. “That’s more than fair.”

_**~0~** _

  
The nurse offered to prepare Melody for what she was going to see before they walked into Edward’s ICU room. Bella gratefully accepted. They both listened, Bella’s stomach twisting in horror. 

Nothing could have prepared her for the reality. She let the nurse talk to Melody softly, urging her not to be afraid to touch her daddy and talk to him. Inwardly, Bella reeled.

Edward’s head was bandaged. His face was a mess of cuts and bruises, grotesquely puffed up. His left arm was in a cast. There were tubes and wires everywhere. It seemed every inch of his exposed skin was either scraped or bruised. His chest rose and fell with each pump of the machine that breathed for him.

Melody began to weep, and that snapped Bella out of her stupor. She hugged her daughter close, hardly able to breathe past the lump in her throat.

“There are too many ows to kiss,” Mel whispered brokenly.

Bella squeezed her eyes shut, twin tears trailing down her cheeks. She took a deep breath as she settled them both in the chair at his side. She held Mel steady as the little girl kissed him anyway—a gentle, tiny thing. 

“Just talk to him, Mel. You can tell him anything you want. He can hear you,” Bella encouraged. 

“Even though he’s sleeping?”

“It’s a special sleep. Like being lost in the fog.” Bella remembered what Carlisle had said. “If you talk to him, maybe it’ll help him find his way back.”

So, Melody talked. And asked questions, wondering if he was always going to look like this. Bella did her best to answer. She knew a lot of what they could see would heal. His arm, even his crushed chest were relatively easy to fix and heal.

The problem now was his head. The swelling was going down, which was a good sign, but there was no telling what could be damaged. When he woke up—when, not if, she had to believe that—any number of things could be wrong.

They could only tell him that they were there and that they loved him.

“Come back to us,” Bella whispered near his ear. “We need you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I really intended to resolve things quicker than this. Back to the drawing board. Don’t worry. My alien unit seems very comfortable where she is. I’ll be back ASAP with the next chapter.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here we go!

Bella sighed, tapping out instructions on her laptop and watching out of the corner of her eye as Melody, perched on her knee, yawned. She rested her head against the side of the bed, curling Edward’s fingers around one of her toys and murmuring to him about whatever adventures they were having in her head. The little girl yawned again, eyelids beginning to droop.

Hurriedly, Bella typed the last of her instructions of the day to her underlings back at the station and closed her laptop. She drew Mel back against her, shifting her. She could tell just how tired her baby was when she instantly wrapped her arms around her neck and melted against her body.

Bella stroked her hair, hoping to coax Melody to sleep. It was always easier to get her daughter to leave Edward’s side when she was asleep. “Hush little baby, don’t say a word,” she whisper-sang against her ear. 

It had the opposite effect. By the time Bella got halfway through the second verse, Melody stirred. She lifted her head, frowning at her mother. “That’s an asleep song. Don’t sing asleep songs. Daddy will hear you, and he’ll sleeped more, and he’s sleeped too long.”

“Okay.” Bella rubbed her back soothingly. “What should we sing, then?”

Melody considered. Then, she started to croon softly in her wavering little-girl voice, “Don’t worry about a thing, cuz every little thing is gonna be all right.”

Bella’s heart panged. She closed her eyes, stroking a hand from Melody’s crown down her back until the girl’s words became garbled mush. Finally, she rested her head on Bella’s shoulder, her breath evening out.

For a minute, Bella just held her daughter, missing Edward so much that she couldn’t breathe. She opened her eyes slowly, taking in his still form. Almost two weeks after his fall, he looked better—the scrapes healing and the bruises turning an ugly yellow-green. In some ways, that only made it worse. 

Why wouldn’t he just open his eyes?

A movement caught Bella’s attention, and she looked across the bed to where Esme was sitting, watching her with concern. She took a shuddering breath. “Edward sings that song to her when she has a nightmare or is scared about something. She likes that bit… ‘Melodies pure and true.’”

It didn't escape Bella's notice that, when she spoke, a look of surprise had flitted across Esme's face, and she'd straightened up, like a soldier standing at attention. The truce between Bella and the Cullens had been uneasy and awkward to say the least. They spoke. Obviously, they could be in the same room, but Bella had never talked about Edward to either of them before.

Still, the last twelve days had given Bella a lot of time to think. She could see how much Esme and Carlisle loved their son. She thought perhaps they could see she cared about him, loved him too. All three of them had hurt Edward despite their love, albeit with quite a bit more impact on his parents’ part. Their intentions now were good. They weren't being antagonistic toward Bella and they adored Melody. Melody, in the way children do, had taken to them with ease. Mommies and Daddies, as far as Melody was concerned, were always a good thing. And grandparents meant extra love and attention for her.

Esme's smile softened. “I’ve been so curious all these years. What he looks like as a father. It's a hard thing to imagine.” She reached out, caressing Edward's hair with a shaking hand. The bandages around his head had reduced as the swelling receded. “He wasn't… He was an adult, but he wasn't a grown-up when he left us.”

Bella nodded slowly, understanding what she was trying to say. In those early days, she hadn't been able to picture Edward as the responsible parent either. “I worried a lot too, at first” she said, choosing her words carefully. “He has a sense of what’s fair and what isn’t that he doesn’t get over easily. I was more than capable of raising a baby by myself, financially and otherwise, but I think he couldn’t deal with the idea he could go on with his life with little to no impact. We all would have been okay. Edward wouldn’t have been starting from scratch with strangers. I would have been fine alone with the baby. She would be happy and well taken care of.

“But what we have.” Bella pressed her hand to her daughter’s back, aching. “He’s a wonderful father. I think being a father focused him a lot. His life isn’t easy, but he rose to the challenge of it so well. And Melody… She’s her daddy’s girl. She’d rather have his lullabies than my bedtime stories. They’re beautiful together.”

“I can tell how attached she is to him.” Esme had Edward’s hand in hers, and she massaged each finger in turn, her eyes, brimming with tears, on him for a few quiet seconds before she spoke again. “You’ve been good to him, good for him too, I think,” she said quietly.

Bella blew out a breath. “I don’t know about that.”

“I haven’t forgotten that I owe you an apology.” Esme’s brows furrowed, and she kept her eyes trained on her son. 

“I…” She exhaled in a gust. “I never knew what it was to hate someone before that woman took my baby away.” Her mouth was set in a hard line. “Victoria.” She closed her eyes, huffed out a breath and spoke again. “I’m sorry. I know I’m not making sense. What I’m trying to say is, Edward was his mother’s son when he was a boy. He was such a sweet, giving boy. Hardworking.” She looked up at Bella finally, with a small smile. “And yes, he was always preoccupied with what was fair.

“Emmett’s trouble… It was all him. His mistakes. His lies. He had a group of friends, but they were similar—troubled children who became troubled adults. Good people who did bad things. 

“But Edward.” Esme pressed a palm to his cheek. “He was an honor roll student. Painfully honest with us.” She huffed, a small smile on her lips. “More often than not, he’d tell on himself when he did something wrong. Then, he was suddenly gone. The boy he’d been was gone, and I didn’t know the person I got back.”

Her expression turned hard again. “I hated that woman. She hunted him. She turned my child into a person who was a stranger to me. She took his beautiful nature, the way he gives himself so completely, and twisted that for her own purpose.”

“And you thought I was like her,” Bella said, tone flat. “You saw an older woman who preyed on your young, impressionable son.”

Esme frowned. “I wanted to hurt you that day.”

“You did.” More than anyone, Esme had dramatically altered the course of her life. Not only that, but her career had been the one thing Bella wanted more than anything else in the world. More than children and a husband. More than all the other things she wanted to accomplish.

Bella blew out a long breath, stroking her daughter’s hair to calm herself now. “I’ve done a lot of stories like the one you had in your head. Men, though. Men who go after younger women and all the reasons why. Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander, after all. Maybe he was an adult, but there’s a power differential in an age gap like ours.” She looked Esme in the eyes. “I didn’t seduce him. And I didn’t know he was that young. I thought mid-twenties, maybe. We had a moment I couldn’t have planned if I tried.”

Esme’s eyes were filled with sadness and regret. “I know that now. I believe that now.”

“I can see why it would be hard to believe when your son was about to rip his world apart at the seams for me.” Bella pressed the heel of her palm to her forehead. “He was an adult, and everything that happened between us was consensual. No coercion. No misleading. But I could have done any of those things.” She nodded. “I understand as much as I'm going to. Just like I understand that it's the inherently misogynistic perspective of some old assholes that ultimately cost me my dream.” 

She fixed Esme with a glare. “But it was you who tipped the domino over. It never had to get as bad as it did. Not for him or me. The ironic thing was how much better it could have been for Edward. It was very likely they were going to transfer me thirty minutes away, not across the country. He could have stayed where he was rather than have to choose between the life you wanted for him and chasing after me and his daughter. He wouldn’t...”

Bella pressed her lips together, her eyes stinging again.

Esme shuddered and looked to her son. “He wouldn’t be here, because he never would have started working at the park.”

Closing her eyes, Bella took a moment to collect her rational thought. “He’s got a passion both for the work and the outdoors. I can’t…” She sighed. “Finding a passion isn’t a bad thing. And what-ifs will drive us all crazy.”

They were both quiet after that. Bella rested her head against her daughter’s, listening to the way her even breaths seemed in sync with her father’s. As though they were both just sleeping peacefully.

“I can’t put Melody through this for too much longer.” Bella wondered why she was saying the words she’d been thinking out loud to this woman, but there they were. 

Esme looked up, a question in her eyes. Bella looked down at Edward’s still form, her heart aching as she spoke. “I need to get her back to something more normal. Her normal routine. Her home. Her own bed.” Hours away from her daddy. 

“You’re not…” Esme swallowed hard. “You’re not giving up on him. Not yet.”

“No. Not giving up.” He was going to wake up. There was brain activity, the doctors had said. Enough to be hopeful. The mind was just unpredictable. His would decide when it had enough rest. “But it’s not healthy for this to be her life. The waiting. The circus.” It was heartwarming how many people—Edward’s bosses, friends, the family of the young man he’d saved—wanted to talk to Melody. She’d heard from so many people how brave her daddy was.

But those well-meaning people didn’t always have the right words. Some of them tended to talk as though Edward had one foot in the grave. Then, there was one of Bella’s bosses who kept on pestering her to put the child on television, let her make a statement. It was good news, and people had been curious about their case.

Esme nodded slowly. “That makes sense.”

Bella got to her feet. She paused, biting the inside of her cheek as she considered. “I don’t agree with what you did. Not to Edward and not to me. But I’ve made as much peace as I’m going to make with it. I already told you. Whether or not you get to be in Melody’s life in the long term is up to him. He’s an adult and her father. I intend to respect that.”

“It’s a good place to start for all of us,” Esme said quietly, holding Bella’s eyes.

With that, Bella bent over the bed, holding her daughter’s head protectively as she kissed Edward’s forehead. “Stop being such a stubborn ass,” she whispered. “Wake up.” _Don’t make me break your daughter’s heart._

She’d only gotten as far as the door before Esme’s gasp had her turning back. “What? What happened?”

Esme stared at Edward, eyes wide and brimming with tears. “His hand. He moved his hand.”

**_~0~_ **

Waking up from a coma in real life wasn’t like it was on television. It took another day before Edward opened his eyes. Even then, his expression was empty. He was there. They knew that because he would tap his fingers against their hands, responding to questions with the one-tap, two-tap method. 

His state scared poor Melody worse than when he’d merely been sleeping. She couldn’t understand how her daddy could look so strange, with his eyes open, and not be able to respond to her pleading.

The nurse who’d originally talked to her, explaining what a coma was, happened to be on shift again. She pulled Melody aside. “The brain is what makes every part of you work, from the things you think, to the way you wiggle your toes, your feelings.” She took Melody’s hand and ran a light fingertip over her palm. “Does that tickle?”

Melody nodded, squirming a little. 

“Even that. When someone touches you, the feeling of it starts in your brain. The brain does so, so, so many things. 

“When someone has slept as long as your daddy has, it takes time for all the connections to snap back together. They do it one by one by one. He’s going to need some help with some of the connections.”

“Can I help?” Melody asked in small voice.

“Yes. You remember when I touched you and it tickled? You can touch your daddy, and he’ll feel it. You can talk to him, and he’ll hear you. It helps him put all the connections together.” She ran a hand over Melody’s face with a gentle touch. “And trust me. Hearing you will make your daddy so happy. Being happy helps people get better.”

Melody nodded and took a deep breath. She reached for Bella. 

“Hi, Daddy,” Melody said, balancing on Bella’s lap and leaning over the rail. She mimicked the way the nurse had just touched her face, running clumsy fingers over Edward. 

“Mel, look.” Bella nodded her head, calling attention to Edward’s hand. His fingers tapped in a disjointed rhythm against the blanket. “I think he wants you to hold his hand, baby.”

Melody scrambled, balancing on Bella’s other knee so she could reach her daddy’s hand easier. She and Bella gasped together, watching Edward’s fingers engulf her much smaller hand with a speed he hadn’t shown yet.

“He remembers,” Bella said under her breath, shaking with relief. 

He remembered them.

**_~0~_ **

Another few days passed. Edward moved his arm. His legs. His eyes became more lively, tracking his visitors around the room.

And then, one night, when Charlie had taken Melody back to the hotel room and Edward’s family had retreated for much needed showers at their own hotel, Bella stirred to a beautiful, raspy sound. 

Someone was humming _Unchained Melody._

Bella lifted her head, blinking sporadically. It took her a minute to realize she was looking into Edward’s tired but tender eyes. 

“Edward?” she whispered.

He licked his lips. “Do you still love me?” he asked in sore whisper of a voice.

She laughed, tears springing to her eyes. “Oh, God.” She took his face between trembling hands and kissed him as hard as she dared. “Yes. Yes, you fucking asshole. Jesus Christ.” 

“Tha’s good.” His eyelids drooped and he lifted hand. He smiled when she twined their fingers together. “Been hard to know what’s real. I’m glad I didn’t make that up.”

And with that, he closed his eyes again, only sleeping this time. Bella rested her head on his chest, closed her eyes, and cried with relief, finally able to believe he was really going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, everyone. Sorry for the wait. I gave birth to a healthy baby girl on Oct. 29. She's a joy, but she does make it hard to write. Hehe. Onward!

“Melody!” Bella darted forward and scooped up her daughter, her brow furrowed. “We talked about this. You can't run in a hospital.”

Melody pushed at her chest, wanting down. “I want my daddy.”

“I know, bug. But you have to be careful. Everyone here is trying to help people who are very sick.” Bella shifted Melody to her hip. “Daddy isn't going to disappear. Promise.”

They got to Edward's room before Bella lost the battle against her child's squirms. She set Melody down, her eyes stinging at the girl's joyful cry of, “Daddy!” Before anyone could stop her, Melody had climbed the chair by the bedside and launched herself at her father.

“Jesus. Mel. Daddy is still hurt. Be careful.” Bella hurried to the bedside, trying to peel Melody off him. She growled and clung.

“She's okay,” Edward said though his face was pinched, but he’d curled his good arm around his daughter. “Hey, Melly.”

Melody started to babble at Edward. Bella didn’t catch much before the little girl started gasping, her lower lip trembling as she started to sob. After a moment, she just held onto her father, her feelings too big to put into words. Bella stroked her hair, and Edward held her, his lips pressed to her crown as he murmured soft words of comfort. 

After a few minutes, Melody calmed down enough, and Bella gave Edward some space with his daughter. When she left them, they were laying face-to-face, Melody all but plastered against his side, her nose to his as they whispered to each other. 

She occupied twenty minutes, strolling around the cafeteria and collecting a few things for Melody to snack on. Then, she headed back. In Edward’s room, she was greeted by a sweet sight. Melody was asleep, her small hand still cupped to her father’s scruffy cheek. Edward’s eyes were hooded. He was tired, but he was obviously fighting it, staring instead at his daughter as though he were trying to memorize her features.

He looked at her and smiled tiredly as she took her seat next to his bed. His hand lifted off Melody’s back, and Bella tangled her fingers in his. 

“She was really scared,” Edward said, sounding sad.

Bella nodded slowly. “It was hard to see you like that.” She shivered and leaned in, stroking his hair back with her free hand. “It was hard for all of us.”

“I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath, obviously fighting sleep. “I’ve tried so hard not to make either of you cry.”

Her heart warmed. “We’ll forgive you. I promise. You should sleep now, though.”

He grunted and frowned, but his eyelids were already almost closed. “Slept too much.”

“Yeah. Isn’t that a bitch? The best way to make that better is to sleep some more.” Her hand faltered as she cupped the top of his head. “Just remember to wake up this time.”

He nodded, his eyes closing. Bella sighed as his breath evened out. “Sleep,” she murmured again. “Because I have things to say to you, Edward Cullen.”

**_~0~_ **

Two more days passed in a blur. 

Edward still slept a lot. His awake times were peppered with visits from various specialists. As the nurse had explained to Melody, the brain controlled everything about the body. It took a small army to figure out if he was firing on all pistons.

Mentally, he was coming along. He was muddled, a little slow on the uptake, but that was to be expected. Bella breathed a sigh of relief. Now that he was awake, she’d privately thought that a change to his personality, to himself, would be the most difficult repercussion of this whole mess.

Physically, he’d gotten away light. As light as someone could get when falling off a cliff. He was having trouble getting his limbs to respond the way they needed to. Most likely, time, physical therapy, and hard work would have him back to relatively normal by the end of the year.

They’d dodged a firing squad worth of bullets.

Bella approached Edward's room at a slow walk, recognizing his parents’ voices. They had been around, of course. And Edward knew they were there. Bella had even asked him if he wanted her to send them packing. 

“Tempting,” he'd muttered, but had let them stay.

She peered into the room, not wanting to intrude but also wanting to make sure that the Cullens were, for once, not antagonizing their son. Her heart softened when she saw Edward had his mother's hand clasped tightly in his, and his face was turned in his father's direction. There was a gentle smile on his father's face. This was the man Edward had described; the good father he had been before they made the wrong choice. 

Just as she was about to retreat, Esme caught sight of her. “Bella. Don't run away.” Her eyes were red-rimmed, and she sniffled as she stood. “We were just on our way out.”

“You don't have to rush for my sake,” Bella said. 

“No. No.” Carlisle smirked.”Edward's been watching the door for the last hour.”

Edward groaned, banging his head lightly against his pillow. “Dad.”

Bella couldn't help but smile. It healed something in her heart to hear him sounding like a son being teased by his father. 

Both Carlisle and Esme leaned in, kissing their son’s temple and squeezing his good hand. “We'll be back later,” Esme said, kissing his hair one more time before she let him go. 

When they had gone, Bella took the seat at his bedside. “Did you kiss and make up?” She kept her tone light as she took his hand, gently massaging his palm and fingers. 

He hummed, his eyes hooded but mostly alert. “Yes and no. It's going to take some work, but…” He shrugged. “I always understood to an extent. First rule of parenting, right? You set a consequence, and you have to stick to your guns no matter how bad it hurts.”

Bella scoffed. That one had gotten the better of both of them more than once. “You weren't a child, and life isn't that simple.”

“Yeah.” He sighed. “You know, every time I've fucked up with Melody, I've asked her to forgive me. She always does. Maybe I would never do to Melody what they did to me, but that doesn't mean I won't fuck up big time at some point. I don't know.”

“I'm not judging. If this is what you want, I'll back your play. You know that.”

He nodded, his expression serious. “You know what else?”

“What?”

“I still really want my mom and dad.” His eyes met hers with a sweet vulnerability. “Is that immature?”

Bella brought his hand to her cheek, holding it there. “I don't think so. You know, the upside to being exiled to Port Angeles was getting my dad back. And Renee might not be much of a grown up, but I still like our weekly talks. She and I are very different people, but she's mine.”

He nodded. “I'm still pissed. It didn't have to be like that. But we can work on it. They said they would pay for Emmett to come stay with me.”

“Oh.” That had been a concern. Bella was, of course, more than happy to do whatever she could for Edward while he recovered, but she wasn’t strong to help him while he was partially paralyzed. Emmett had said he could take time off under the family medical leave act, but not at full pay, and he couldn’t afford to hop on another plane. “That’d be great.”

He nodded and sighed again as his fingers traced the shape of her face, his eyes intense on hers. “I almost died without seeing them again.”

She shuddered and clutched his hand. 

“I almost died without a lot of things.” He breathed in and out, studying her face. “You asked me to think about my life, right? What I wanted?”

Bella’s heartbeat picked up, and she had to stop herself from pulling away from him. “We don't have to talk about that right now.”

“I'm awake. You're awake.” He looked at her as though trying to read her mind. “And you’re nervous about something. Is it that you decided you don't want me, and you just don't want to tell me?”

“No,” she said quickly. Then, she laughed, chuckling her head. “The opposite.” She leaned closer. “These weeks… I don't think I understood how essential you became to me.” She shook her head. “Somewhere along the line, you got under my skin. After almost losing you… I just don't want to lose you again.”

“Why would you lose me?”

She looked at him, forcing a steadiness she didn't feel. “I still am who I am. I've never needed a man to make me happy. I do need other things to make me happy. Things I don't have now.”

“You don't need me.”

“I love you, and I want you. I want us. But, no. I don't need you.” She tilted her head, hating the way her gut twisted. “Does that bother you? It's not that I wouldn't work hard at our relationship, or that I would neglect you anymore than I would neglect Mel. But there might be a time when we, you and me, come second to my ambition.”

He squeezed her hand. “I don't need you to depend on me to make your life meaningful. I want to be the one helping you get there. Like you've helped me figure out who I want to be when I grow up.”

Bella smiled and leaned in to press a small kiss to his lips. “That's how I think all relationships should be. A partnership. And I hate to belabor the point. I know you. We both want this, so why can’t I just take what’s right in front of me, right? But giving someone your heart means you give them the ability to break it.”

“I would never.”

“Don't say never. You can’t promise me never. The whole thing about love, just love and not compatibility, not the hard work of relationships, is that it can't be fought.” Her heart ached. He _was_ young, his whole life and so many people ahead of him. She thought of all the interesting people she’d met in her twenties and thirties. “Realistically, do you think I'm the only human being you're ever going to feel a connection to? And if you meet someone who's more like you on what they want out of life…”

His brow furrowed, but to his credit, he didn't dismiss her concerns. His voice was serious when he spoke. “I think you don't realize that you've ruined me for other women. They pale to you.”

She flushed, pleased in spite of herself. He’d always been a smooth talker. “Edward—”

“I know. I hear what you’re saying.” The corner of his lip turned up. “I can’t predict the future. What we have works now. And it’s what I want now.” His eyes sparked with mischief. “The only real difference is we get to have sex.”

She shook her head, grinning. “Edward,” she said again, admonishing.

“I did think about it. Up there. What I wanted. And all kidding aside, I want what we already have. We’re good parents to Melody. I got your back and you have mine.” He grimaced, tilting his head to stare up at the ceiling. “And maybe that’s what makes all this a moot point.”

“What do you mean?”

He scowled upward, shaking his head the slightest bit. He gestured down at his broken body. “Do you think I’m an idiot that even with all this, I still want to be a ranger? I still want to keep hiking?”

She winced, closing her eyes a brief moment, and blew a slow breath out. It was like she’d told Esme, she would never begrudge him his passion for anything. “I don’t think you’re an idiot. I know what it feels like to do something you love, and you’re good at what you want to do, obviously. You know I’m proud of you, right? What you did? You’re a damn hero.”

“Yeah.” He chuckled, the sound wry. “So they keep telling me.” His face pinched at the corners of his eyes. “That’s why…”

“What,” she prompted when seconds went by without him speaking.

He closed his eyes as though gathering strength and turned his head to look at her. “The director of the NPS division came to see me this morning. He said they’re developing a new program, and he wants me to be a part of it.” His eyes searched hers. “But it’s based in Yellowstone.”

Bella sucked in a sharp breath, blinking hard.

“It wouldn’t be for at least two years and contingent on me finishing my program in school,” Edward said in a rush. Then, when seconds ticked by and she still didn’t talk, he started to babble. “I’ll say no. Wyoming… I mean, it’s so far. And sparse. And I couldn’t be that far from Melody and—”

“Shhh.” Bella put a soft hand over his mouth to stop his flow of words. She laughed, covering her eyes with her other hand. “Oh, damn.”

Now what was she supposed to do with that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *whistles innocently*


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Let’s get down to it!

Physical therapy was a family affair. 

Bella sat off to the side, laptop balanced on her knees. She wasn’t working on her homework as she was supposed to but watching the sweet scene in front of her instead. 

Edward was walking step by laborious step, trying to get his wonky leg to straighten and cooperate. He had one hand gripped tightly on the rail, but the other was holding onto Melody. The little girl held herself as though she were bracing her father as he stepped along. Every step or so, she would shower her daddy with praise. “That’s so good, Daddy. You got dis.”

The physical therapist chuckled, and Bella put a hand over her mouth, hiding her smile. “You know, Miss Melody, you’d make a good physical therapist. We have an opening if you want a job.”

Melody looked at him briefly. “No, thank you. Momma said I can’t have a jobs cuz I’m just a kid.”

“I see. Well, if you want to consider it when you grow up, I’ll write you a letter of recommendation.”

“I like the letter M, cuz my name is Melody. That starts with an M. Momma told me.”

Bella palmed her forehead, and Edward chortled. He leaned heavily on the bar, obviously drained, and met her eyes. Despite how tired he looked, Edward’s eyes were bright as they shared a smile.

Their kid was awesome.

“Do you know what you want to be when you grow up?” the physical therapist asked, kneeling at Edward’s side as Melody ‘helped’ him ease himself into a chair. He took Edward’s ankle and extended it out. 

Melody patted her father’s knee consolingly as she answered the physical therapist. “I want to be a ranger. But not a mountain ranger, because mountains are scary. I want to pet mountain kitties!”

“Melody,” Edward groaned. “No one pets mountain lions.”

“The big man said he pets bears. Why not mountain kitties?”

The big man was what Melody called the man Edward had referred to as the big boss—one of the directors of the National Park Service, the one who had offered Edward the Yellowstone job. He’d held Melody’s attention for ages, recounting tales from the trail. And he had, indeed, petted a bear cub.

Edward leaned down and kissed Melody’s forehead. He looked her in the eyes. “You’re going to make Mommy change her mind about moving to Yellowstone.”

An hour later, they were back home. Melody had been shooed off to play, and Bella had argued Edward onto the couch instead of trying to help her cook dinner. “By the way, I’m not going to change my mind about Yellowstone.”

“Not even if your child threatens to get eaten for a living?” He quirked an eyebrow. 

“She’s three. I have time to fix that.”

He grinned. “You want to fix it in the middle of a park otherwise known as Wonderland? There actually will be bears there. And mountain kitties. And they’re super cute.”

“Until they try to eat you.”

He wrinkled his nose. “So the plan is, we teach her to respect nature...not think of it as her own personal petting zoo.”

“Exactly.” She took a deep breath, trying to soothe the nagging voice in the back of her head. Yellowstone was a thousand times more dangerous than Olympic National Park.

But, none of them could stop living just because Edward had almost died.

“So, I’m not going to chicken out.” She bent down and kissed his upturned lips. “How about you? You still sure about me? Even if it means no more kids?”

His smile was wistful. “Melody will always be enough for me.”

She kissed his cheek again and retreated to the kitchen. She’d barely been in there five minutes before Edward came in, leaning heavily on his cane. She made a point of sighing at him before she went about her business.

“So, I have a question for you,” Edward said, sitting gingerly at the breakfast table. “Something I've been thinking about, but I don’t want you to read anything into it.”

Bella set the pan she'd taken out to the side and leaned on the counter, looking at him. “Okay. You have my attention.”

His lips quirked, and he ducked his head. He took a steadying breath. “When you say you don't want kids…”

She pressed her tongue to the roof of her mouth, struggling to keep her expression straight. Her heart started to pound.

She was a confident woman, but that didn't mean she could completely silence that little voice in the back of her head whispering that Edward could come to his senses any moment just when she was easing into the idea of permanence with this man.

“Do you not want anymore children because the idea of having more than one is just something you can't fathom? Or is it that you don't want to be pregnant again?”

Bella furrowed her brow, startled. Edward hurried to fill the silence. “I'm only looking for clarification. You didn't like being pregnant.”

“Understatement.”

“And I know you want to concentrate on work and, now, school. So, I was wondering how you felt about adoption.”

“Oh,” Bella said, the word coming out as a soft, startled huff. She cocked her head, staring off into space as she processed the words. “Oh, wow.”

“I meant what I said before. Melody will always be enough for me.” Edward leaned across the counter. “I'm just trying to see if there's any wiggle room.” He gave a shrug, a smile playing on his lips. “Maybe a school aged child we don't have to potty train or even a teenager.”

She snorted and grinned. “You want a son or daughter who was born when you were ten?”

“It would keep our life interesting.”

“Because lions and tigers and bears aren't interesting enough.”

His grin turned devilish. “There are no tigers in any of the national parks. But you never know. I could be the one to change all that.”

Bells huffed. “Have I mentioned I’m proud of you for having long-term professional goals?”

“Back at you, babe.”

Crossing to him, she leaned across the counter. “Adoption?”

“You don't have to answer for sure. I'm just asking if you're open to the idea.”

She chewed the inside of her cheek and nodded slowly. “You know…adoptions can be complicated. Especially when you're not married.”

It was worth it to see Edward's eyebrows shoot up and his mouth gape open. “It would… I mean… Would you…”

Bella laughed and leaned in to kiss him, her hand cupped to his cheek.

~0~

It was a long day at work followed by a long night at school. Bella was looking forward to an amazing dinner of whatever drive-thru was open. 

Her car had broken down earlier that week, so she scanned the parking lot, looking for Edward's Volvo.

“Bella?”

Bella whirled around, having an intense flashback. Esme Cullen was there. She blinked several times, remembering time and place 

There was no way this woman could ruin her second school career anyway. And Bella had known she was in town. 

“Esme,” she greeted, shouldering the messenger bag that doubled as her bookbag. “What happened to Edward?”

“Impromptu jam session.” Esme smiled fondly. “The Cullen Men and their pint-sized lead singer.”

“Oh, man. The things I miss.”

“Rosalie is filming it for you.”

Bella chuckled. ”It's nice. A holiday season with everyone. We had three Christmases alone. Just us and Charlie's family.”

Esme sighed. “A phone call from Emmett has been our Christmas these last three years.” She started the car and flashed a smile at Bella. “Both my sons are alive. I have a beautiful granddaughter, two strong, beautiful daughters-in-law. One of them rather sneaky with this eloping business…”

Bella snickered. She knew Esme had been less than pleased at the fact she and Edward had run off to the courthouse to get married, but the woman has worn out the number of tantrums she was entitled to the first day they met. 

“Life is good,” Esme concluded. “How about you? All this. Going back to school. That's good of you. To change your whole life for my son.”

“Ah.” She'd been waiting for this subject to come up. “I don't change my life for anyone but me and my daughter. Turns out John Lennon was right.”

“All you need is love?”

“Hell no. May we all need more than that.” Bella watched the landscape go by. “‘Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans’. When Edward told me he wanted to move to Montana in two years, I remembered something I'd forgotten about.”

“What's that?”

“My Bachelor’s degree is in Biology. That was my first love.” She let her head lull on the headrest. “I got involved with the student paper, and my life went in a different direction.”

“But there are plenty of things for a biologist to do in Yellowstone?” Esme asked.

“And I was looking for a new career.” Bella waved a hand. “Sometimes life leads you. I've got another year and a half to complete another Master's program. I'm excited about the possibilities of my professional life again. I think I'm on track to be impressively happy.”

Some minutes later, they arrived back at the house Bella now shared with Edward. As promised, she found her young husband mid-jam session, this time playing the rockband video game with his father and brother. Melody had the mic, and she was crooning Blind Melon’s No Rain.

As the song ended, Bella whistled and clapped. She was rewarded when both Melody and Edward flashed matching grins and dropped their game pieces to come greet her. 

Sometimes, she thought as she kissed her incredibly sexy, rocker-ranger husband and lifted her daughter onto her hip, she had to marvel at the perfection of bad timing. Sometimes, she had to admit the life she didn't plan ended up better.

**_~The End~_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N: Many thanks to Packy, songster, MoH, Eleanor, Mina.**
> 
> **And all of you for taking this journey with me. It’s been an interesting one for sure, and I’ve enjoyed seeing your reactions to this Bella for so many reasons. Thank you for the discussions.  
> **


End file.
